January 12, 2002
My sugars are so far from being in control, it just isn't funny. I'm only glad I've got a little insulin in the fridge, so I can cheat a little when they're high. I'm calling my doctor on Monday about getting on meds until I lose weight enough.
I just feel like I'm getting my reality check.
Yo, here...have some fairly brittle diabetes...eat absolutely few or no carbs and watch your sugars go straight to shit. Tonight's snack was some sunflower seeds because those won't blow my sugars straight to hell in a handbasket.
I walked EXTRA today. I want to know why in the whole stinkin' universe and karmic payback of things that THAT doesn't count for something to this disease. It's probably because that extra stomach of mine DOES count for something to this disease in that it prevents me from using my own insulin. Too much holiday lard to use my own insulin.
My after breakfast sugars were 140. Freakin' 140 after eating one single stupid carb!
I'm pissed at myself. I'm pissed at this disease.
Just thank God, I had Genevieve and KNEW I had diabetes beforehand. She's the precious little angel baby she is because I knew.
All I can think is...Insulin resistance is futile. Kind of like a diabetic's take on Star Trek's Borg characters.
I just want the universe to know that like, "Okay, got it. Lose some weight and quit it. Just freakin' quit it."
And would someone please stop twanging on that ice pick in the middle of my back. It's excruatiatin'.
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