January 29, 2002 Someone took the sheet off my son and revealed that I shouldn't be taking it personally when he specifically doesn't do what he's asked 47 times. He has ADHD, combined type. The therapist said that only 4% of diagnosed ADHD people score as high as 8. Russell scored at 18-20. He inherited it from his Mom. Chicken legs and allergies seem like better things to inherit overall, but noooo, he gets chicken legs, allergies and ADHD from my branch of the ole family tree. Realizing that I was ADHD as a child, is an epiphany that puts a lot of things into perspective. I don't think I was fully acknowledging that I was indeed ADHD, until I realized how like me Russell is. All of those impulsive things I did when I was younger (and some more recently) were not from some evil intent to torture my parents or anyone else, but rather due to brain chemistry. (As I recall, I flunked chemistry in college.) Of course, my mom believes that I purposely "put her through her paces." Yup, that's me...nothing but time on my hands to make my parents miserable. *sigh* We gave Russell his first dose of ritalin at 4PM. At 5PM, we did his least favorite thing: shopping. To my amazement, I didn't have to raise my voice once. I also didn't have to tell him things twice. Not once did he raise his voice to me. He hinted once about getting the Atlantis video, but to my complete surprise, he didn't whine about not getting it. We ate dinner at the little cafeteria at Target. His sister was her usual boisterous toddler self, grabbing goldfish, slobbering food and he helped her. He didn't whine about her behavior, nor did he bitch when she snatched his little mini packet of goldfish. He smiled and said,"Genny can have those." MY GOD, I thought, WHO IS THIS CHILD? Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is my missing son. Apparently snatched sleeping from his bedroom by aliens, my son has been returned to me through the magic of brain chemistry. Russell went to toss out garbage from dinner, without being asked. Mike and I looked at each other and both grinned from ear-to-ear. I whispered,"Gosh, can you believe it?" Mike grinned and shook his head no. I said,"Wow!" Mike got Genny, as I put my arm around Russell's shoulders and we walked out the door. When we got home, Mike was in charge of kids while I packed his bags for his trip to Chicago this morning. Mike got Genny down early because we were going to be up so early. Then he looked at me, kind of groaning a little saying,"Okay, I'm going downstairs to help Russell with his homework." His walk took on a slouch, I had hardly realized was there before. Suddenly, I felt like I had a steel rod in my stomach. I waited for the screaming, yelling, and Russell or Mike to come storming into the room. After a while, I heard them playing mancala -- the tell-tale plink of rocks in the metal tray. And the steel rod dissolved into starry-eyed wonder. No screaming. No referreeing. When I asked Russell if he'd brushed his teeth, he said no, and went upstairs and did it. There was no screaming that he had 5 more minutes. There was no whining about having to do it. He simply went. Yesterday, he'd had a little diet dr pepper, which I think helped the ritalin and tonight he didn't. Things were a little more rocky towards bedtime. I'm sure that hauling his butt out of bed at the butt crack of dawn didn't help. (Mike had been planning a business trip to Chicago, but O'Hare Airport was closed due to weather. -- totally different journal entry, I'm sure.) I don't know this new little boy particularly well yet, but I'm really enjoying him so far. I honestly never thought I'd get to meet him. I've only known that I love him lately by virtue of his presence in my life. Today, I am getting to know the sweet little boy that's been struggling with ADHD to come hang out with me and I love him more than any momma bear could. |