March 18, 2002 At first, I thought I was just lonely. With the new move to a new location, that seemed like a reasonable conclusion. I realized though that I've got friends, I go out, I've got church and Boy Scouts and lots to do, so it isn't that. What I am missing is the sense of belonging and working with people on a team. That sense is why I liked to work where I was. And while I know all those people are still there, I have no sense of how my work impacts them in any way any more. So I talked to a guy who I work with a lot. I told him what I was feeling and asked for his input. He gave me some good ideas and I called my boss and asked for a phone appointment. The upshot is that I'm probably going to start going in once a week to print stuff out, touch base, and work on developing that sense of being a valuable member of a team that I've been missing. I'll be talking to my boss next week face-to-face. And maybe it doesn't work out. I don't know. I've been looking for other work, rather halfheartedly, but looking nonetheless. For me, it's not the money. Though money is nice, Mike makes enough to where as long as I'm making a couple thousand a month, I'm good. The most important thing to me, especially after enduring menopausal bitches from hell in my previous job is that I'm happy. And I like what I do. Editing is fun. I know I often miss typos and don't catch it here, but I do catch it when paid for it -- I'm guessing it's something to do with writing my journal in the wee hours of the night that has me missing typos. I also like working for a place where my environmentalists tendencies can be cultivated properly. However, without that sense of value, I'm floundering. The other thing that my boss brought up is that there's a good chance my contract won't be renewed because of budget concerns. California's governor put the state into a lot of debt during the energy crisis without consulting the Legislature about it. Now he's trying to save his political butt by cutting government expenses, aka, putting state workers out of work because he's got an upcoming election. That also means that contract monies will be slashed, including the contract I'm on. And to think I voted for that stupid moron. My boss said that he thought there was a good chance they couldn't afford me and that he "strongly recommended" I have a backup plan. He said he'd review the monies between now and our meeting and give me a better idea soon. Anyway, I had an interview with one of those placement agencies today and they were claiming they could find all kinds of stuff for me, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm going to put in with a few others and there's a job fair coming up at the end of the week. I figure the best time to look for work is while I'm still employed, so I'm out hunting around. And it sucks butt. I have so many skills and NO idea what I want to do when I grow up. Of course, now, that I'm going to be insanely busy looking for work, I'll be less likely to post frequently here. |