Yup, it's dirty little confession week.
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I don't know precisely how it happened, but yesterday, I opened up an envelope from my insurance company and they sent me a $500 deductible check. They claimed it was for the car accident, and I'm not arguing it. It'll pay for the tax on the new car. Paying it myself beats the hell out of asking my mom for it.
- I love playing Pokemon. I have spent the past week playing my son's gameboy and competing for time on it. I've kicked serious butt in the game, too. My son can't get over what a Pokemaniac his mom is. I'm completely embarrassed.
- This one is relevant to the previous one. I love playing Dungeons and Dragons and used to play every chance I could when I was in college and at home with my brother. I adore it. I have been dying to get into Magic and play with Mike, but I don't know if he realizes how much I LOVE those kinds of games. I think my history of D;amp&D playing makes my recent pokey-mania understandable because it's a lot of the same kinds of things. You have to know the strengths, weaponry and hit points of things in order to play.
- I am feeding Genny cereal. We tried it Saturday night and then again this morning. I know it's two weeks early but she's draining me dry of iron and I feel like shit. If I can slow her milk consumption with a little cereal, it'll make us both feel good. I spent most of Sunday with my little milk parasite attached to me. I love her and am glad to feed her, but it's nice to be able to leave the room without her screaming, especially when she's on a nursing binge like that. It also means that Mike can participate more in feeding her, which gives me a break now and then.
- My diabetes is really really good. I don't feel bad unless I forget to eat. Then I feel like trash most of the day and some of the next. My insulin resistance is practically non-existent. It feels like a bit of bad news in the back of my mind though. I know if I don't keep my weight down, it'll be right back to shit again. I know my doctor was saying that he thought because of my scores that he wondered if it was gestational only. I had felt like shit for months before I was diagnosed, but I suspect that I had hit that kind of borderline place from my increased weight. My current weight loss put me just barely on the good side of borderline. I've been fucking with it terribly to test it out, but I know not to go back to the same old shit. There's more vegetables and I track my food servings with each meal. I have occasional deviations, but I'm doing really good and I'm proud of me.
- I've been really scared about my relationship with Mike. It's not based on anything rational, but rather my own insecurities. I'm still not too into sex at all and I keep getting worried that he might jump ship or something. This morning, when he came out of the shower, I asked him,"How was I?" He told me I was terrific, but he prefers my "real company." I know it's stupid and it wouldn't happen, but I just find myself fighting with the irrationality that comes with no damned sleep and anemia.
If you feel like bathing under a fire hose, I'll understand. Dirty, Dirty, dirty.
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