February 2, 2000
Contractions!

In round two of the pregnancy experience, I guess I expected I felt more ready for it. And really, in a lot of ways, I do. I know a lot more of what to expect and I feel like an old hand at a lot of this stuff, even though having to deal with the diabetes is new. But lately when I've done any walking I'm having a lot of cramping. And we're not talking a little bit of cramping or contractions, we're talking about my whole abdomen turning into a solid ball of pain.

My first experience of this was a couple weeks ago, walking in the rain. I figured it was because I was trying to keep up with the big boys and couldn't. Walking with fit guys all over 6 feet tall is cruising for a bruising, even when you're NOT pregnant. And then I've had a couple of other times, including this weekend's baby shopping, where I've just been milling around the mall or something and am damned uncomfortable. But last night took the cake. I was in so much pain, crossing the parking lot that I had to stop. Russell was freaking out. I felt crappy all night and then this morning I was still feeling kind of shitty.

I called the doctor and asked and she said that it's probably nothing to worry over but to get checked to make sure my cervix wasn't opening and I wasn't heading into pre-term labor. She was reassuring and said that if the first pregnancy was late, that this one would probably run a little late, too, and this might just be a function of a changed position of baby. She also told me to drink two glasses of water and lay down,(which reminded me vaguely of take to aspirin and call me in the morning) whenever this happened and if the contractions got rhythmic or worse after an hour of that, that I should call immediately.

Admittedly, I'm scared, but I also don't think this baby is ready. She and I are busy bonding right now and I think my body is just telling me to slow down. I have a month of sick time accumulated, so if I need to, I can work half time starting now until I get my disability in April and still get full-time paychecks.

Okay, I'm scared a lot, regardless of my intellectualization. I'm hoping that things will be ok and I'm scared.

Fasting 1 hr.after
breakfast
before lunch 1 hr. after
lunch
1 hr. before
dinner
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dinner
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