The last ultrasound...she had all her parts in the right proportions. She's perfect and the right size, neither too big nor too small. She's NORMAL.

God, the word normal in the context of this baby is like an orgasm in the context of making love with Mike. It's so scrumptious and tempting and succulent a word and such a perfectly formed example of babe-liciousness. Jaxana is normal.

As for Russell, we did have a nice time last night. We read, we talked we hung out. It was nice. And this morning, that little booger broke my heart when he saw his Dad and yelled,"Hey, Daddy, come here!!" and gave Mike got a big squishy hug. I, on the other hand, got a big obnoxious hassle about getting a peck on the cheek good-bye this morning and then got a raspberry blown on my cheek. And yes, I am jealous.

Of course, that raspberry made me think of another thing. I told the doctor yesterday that Russell had been ready to go. I was two cm dilated, 80% effaced and they could feel the hair on his head on a Friday and that on Tuesday, he spent the day kicking the bejeebers out of me and turning himself. The doctor asked,"Is he still like that?" I think my jaw must have dropped. The weekend flashed through my head and I answered,"Yes, as a matter of fact he is." My gosh, they are formed in the womb.

Jaxana is going to be a giant kidder like her dad. She loves to play with us and loves her comforts. She always likes to roll back to her favorite place on the right side of my uterus, regardless of the way I sleep. And when I made her uncomfy this morning, she kicked me for leaning against the bathroom counter to get to my earrings! The girl likes her creature comforts, much like her daddy. I can't wait to meet her.

And as ever, there is the backdrop of the disease to my life.

I have been so much hungrier and I can't really eat as much as I want sometimes, so I've had a couple of sort of high post-prandial sugars. This morning's baddy was that I ate the egg mcmuffin AND the hash brown. Usually I just eat the egg thing, take a bite out of the hashbrown and throw the rest away. I just was starving, though, so I munched it.

At lunch, I didn't eat all the ice cream. I took a couple of bites and it was OK, but I guess if I'm going to be very bad, I'd like it to be on Ben and Jerry's not some cheap restaurant stuff, so I gave the rest to Mike to eat, and as a result, my sugars were fine.

I still plan on Godiva white chocolate truffles after delivery. It's something to look forward to and plan for. It's weird how I even eat an occasional brownie and that works into my food plan. I just have to be careful and not eat a lot of it and it's okay.

I'm not gaining weight or fat, so I have stopped feeling guilty about such things. When my sugars go nuts, I go back to militant food monitoring. When they're good, I give myself a break and that's a good feeling. It gives me hope that I can continue to manage this disease after I have the baby and that I'll be OK afterall. This may not be the death knell I feared when I first got diagnosed.