I haven't seen a low sugar since I was shooting insulin when I was pregnant, but sometimes I have a really hard time with figuring out just how much I need to eat. If I have to produce a lot of milk, then I have to eat more to keep up with it. The person who determines my milk production does so by nursing and because you can't really measure how much milk you're making, it's a lot of guesswork, especially because I often sleep through nursings.

One night a few weeks ago, I had a 151, but I went out and cleaned the kitchen vigorously and an hour later, it was down around 100. A couple nights ago, I ate a lot of food and was sure my sugars would be shot to shit, and they were 110.

It's harder now without the insulin for control in some ways because I don't have to monitor myself as closely. In other ways, it's really awesome because it allows me the freedom from the needles and that annoying little vial of survival. And I'm not taking anything for the diabetes -- just prenatal vitamins for me and the baby, so I'm feeling pretty Amazonian with regards to diabetes at the moment. The vitamins used to make us both kind of iffy on the digestive thing, but I'm finding if I drink them with a boatload of water, we both are just fine.

I've been starting to exercise more. The first month post-partum was kind of a blowout. The first few weeks I was just too sore from the surgery to really do much, but by the third week, I started walking to school and back to get Russell and it's a good 45-60 minute walk roundtrip. Lately, I've been out in the pool doing aqua aerobics on my own a few nights a week and yesterday, I walked for an hour. I've talked to several women here at my apartment complex and they are all interested in having our own aqua aerobics class. I'm not charging anyone or anything like that, but I figured if I had to lead it, it would force me to do it regularly and forego the excuses I could come up with otherwise. It's been so hot here, though, that it's not like it's hard to get in the water.

I've been wanting to avoid the iron supplements, but I'm pretty sure the anemia is worse and I'm sick and tired of beef. As a result, I'm thinking I'm going to give the iron a go with the baby again, now that she's older and her tummy is more mature and see if we can get through the night without her screaming in agony. I'll be trying it on Friday night when I don't have to go to work after a potentially sleepless night.

On the family front, Russell is sooooooo busted. I had two people mention an incident where he punched another child in the stomach. He was saying that he pulled his punch so it didn't hurt, but I wasn't impressed by that. I chewed him out a LOT about it. Mike chewed him out a lot about it -- and he's not the disciplinarian, usually. Then we came up with an appropriate punishment--he can't play with other kids in the morning after swim lessons this week (two hours) and he will not be allowed to play with other kids on the weekend.

The problem is that with me going back to work, we essentially are sending him off to camp with his friends, so it was the only way we could do it. I told him I thought maybe he needed to remember what it's like to play by himself. When he tried to reiterate that he had tried to pull the punch, we looked at him and said that hitting someone is a crime that people go to jail for and that if Mommy or Daddy hit someone, we'd go to jail. He was stunned silent. Then he asked,"Will I go to jail?" We told him no, of course, but he was obviously shaken a bit. I hope it sticks.

Of course, the next thing that comes to mind is, what about him defending himself? If I tell him not to hit and some kid decks him, do I want him to be able to hit the kid back? So I asked Mike about it before we talked to Russell. He had three brothers; he'd know. Mike said he never hit anyone and he even had someone deck him once his freshman year of college and he got a bloody nose and went home. Mike was adamant that No, Russell doesn't need to hit anyone for any reason. Wimpiness is ok.

That made me feel good about the whole process we came to. Part of what happens is that he asks to go outside to play and I let him. Usually, I go outside to check on him periodically and all, but I'm not watching over him like a hawk because he's older and I trust him. I told him I don't trust him right now.

Boy, did that realization suck! And Russell cried about it. I figure it's good that it upsets him. He'll learn not to do it if the associations are negative. And I'll work to praise his good behavior this week.

Summer vacation is going to be longer than hell. I can tell.