I got done with that and decided I needed lunch. I went to buy a paper and then go out to lunch and started feeling like I was going to pass out. I rummaged for a piece of candy in my purse and ate it and then checked my sugars to find out just how bad I was. After I ate the candy I was 53, so I must've been pretty bad off. After lunch I was a little high, but livable -- maybe from the candy.

After I ate, I was nervous about driving until I could test my sugars again, so I wandered into a department store and told the woman that I'd like a makeover, to decide what make up to buy for my wedding in a week and a half. This nice woman in her 40's spent about an hour helping me figure out what looked good and I walked out looking terrific with a small fortune in cosmetics.

I never wear make up and I don't know what my fascination is with it suddenly, but I want to start wearing it, especially looking at my wedding coming up and then having to look like hell warmed over in the hospital after I give birth. Maybe it's something I connect with taking care of myself because I've been buying these expensive face creams because my face was positively flaking and scaly from the diabetes. I've also discovered that despite my best attempts, I shouldn't wear eye make up other than a little liner and mascara. I've got beautiful deepset eyes and naturally long and curly eyelashes. For me, wearing eye shadow is kind of like a black woman dying her hair black -- pretty darn pointless.

I feel frivolous and silly for buying make up, but it's fun, so I'm just riding it out. Mike's kind of annoyed about the money, but seems to understand that I need to feel special somehow and for whatever reason, the wearing of the make-up thing is doing it for me. Understand that I normally don't wear anything...no lipstick, no blush, no nuffin, so this is kind of weird for both of us.

After my foray into dah wearing o' make-up, I drove up to Sacramento and picked up Mike and we went to Canon Marcia to kind of finish up our premarital counseling stuff, give over the check for the chapel, discuss the readings, the decorations, etc. She asked if there was anything else and I showed her the now infamous Katie letter.

She read it, she patted my hand and said,"She obviously doesn't know you at all. I'm sorry someone would send you something like this." I told her that it hit on a lot of my insecurities and we talked about that a little, and both she and Mike were patting my hand and wonderful. I felt a little overly pat, but hey, it was nice to know that people believed in me.

At the end of things, she handed it back to me and said,"You should burn it or if you like, I'll burn it for you." I thought about it and I gave it to her and said,"Would you do it for me?" I figured she'd at least pray for Katie, something I don't entirely feel up to doing.