Then they started the pitocin. Eventually, I was on the maximum amount of pitocin they give anyone at a single time. At around 1PM, I started having the kinds of contractions that make you howl at the moon. I just moaned through them and it felt like waves, pounding me over and over. I'd try to say words in them like "baaaaaaaaaaa-bbbbbbbbbbbbbby" just to slow down my breathing because as the day wore on, I wanted to give it up so many times. And somewhere in there, I realized I had an amniotic fluid leak because after each contraction, I'd be sitting in a little puddle.

And somewhere in the worst of it, as I rode from one pain-wracked contraction to the next, Mike's mom called. The thing is we specifically told her not to call after 11AM and we had specifically told the nurses to not allow any calls or visitors in the room. They doublechecked with us because she was pretty insistent, but she also tried telling them that we'd told her she could call us any time to the room, which of course, was a big fat lie. So the nurses blew her off and handled that for us, thankfully, but I was pretty pissed off. Mike wrote her another mail from his account which said very politely, don't bug us after 11AM because we're too damned busy.

I knew the doctor was coming at around 430 and I just kept hanging in there. I don't know how I did it really.

The doctor checked me and I am fully effaced now, the baby is about as low as she can go and I'm 2 cm dilated. He said that was excellent cervical change. I had hoped for a lot more, but apparently, that's for tomorrow.

The best part of the whole day was when they shut off the pitocin and I took a shower. I must have showered in there for 45 minutes and it was spectacular! Mike had about 10 towels for me and just kept drying me off and then the nurse pulled out the IV.

I kept thinking about how much energy I had and then I got in the car and sat down and felt like I was under a mac truck. We went home and slept.

I was feeling pretty buff all in all, though. The nurse told me that at 2-3 units of pitocin, she had asked for an epidural and at 20 units, I didn't. I told her I know that the epi can slow things down sometimes and I didn't want to take chances, but I also had thought I couldn't ask for one so early on, but for the most part, I didn't really think about pain meds until close to the end of the day. I kept telling Mike how much it hurt and he kept patting me on the head and telling me, "I know, baby, but you're doing great." That little bit of support got me through a few more contractions each time.

The doctor thought there was a good chance I'd go on my own today, but I'm not holding my breath. I've learned not to.

What scares me is tomorrow, we do this all over again. I've called a neighbor who is a masseuse about getting a little body work done, so I can function better tomorrow because my back is pretty fucked up. And my belly feels like it's on fire still. I've been sleeping most of the day and Mike has been taking little cat naps and doting on me endlessly. I am always hot and drinking lots of water, so I'm hoping that's a hormone change that like MEANS something somehow. Probably not, though. :P