[Just for the record, this "guide" is no more serious than the Angst
stuff is.  So.]


============

I've had a few people ask me what makes up an Angst Adventure, so,
here we go, if you're interested.  Here for your reading pleasure is:



    THE NOT ENTIRELY OFFICIAL GUIDE TO WRITING ANGST

             by Elaine McMillian



1.  Happy memories should only appear to increase the impact of the
character's current grief.   The use of flashback is always helpful,
especially if the flashback provides a strong contrast to the
current situation.

EXAMPLE:

He recalled the days when they had spend hours simply being
together-- just spending time with one another.  As he looked down at
the bare grave, his sorrow nearly split his heart in half.

2.  No humour.  Ever.  No puns, no inside jokes.  Not even dark
humour.  Nothing.

WRONG:

"The HRA has been bombed!" shouted the young man, startling the
crowd-- except for the woman sitting in the corner sipping hot tea.

RIGHT:

"The HQ has been bombed!!" shouted the young man, as cries of horror
rose from the crowd, and the woman sitting in the corner smiled
coldly.

3.  Phrases such as "raw agony" "waves of despair" and "stark
anguish" should be liberally sprinkled throughout the MS.  Too much
phrase-turning is not enough.

EXAMPLE:

He stood there, remembering:

The raw, searing pain struck him to his knees as she turned away
from him, her face set and cold.  Although he could see his own soul-
chilling anguish reflected in her eyes, it did nothing to hold back
the icy waves of despair that threatened to engulf him.


4.  Subtlety is not necessary.

WRONG:  He glanced away from her face, unable to meet her eyes,
        unwilling to let his conflict show.

RIGHT:  He turned his agony-filled eyes from her beautiful porcelain-
        pale face, finding it impossible to meet her keen, tear-
        filled eyes, refusing to let her see the way this battle was
        shredding his heart into thousands of fragments.

5.  Neither is plot.  You're concentrating on tormenting your
characters, putting them through an emotional wringer, not on
creating a situation.


6.  Run-on sentences are your friends; confusion=complexity.

EXAMPLE:

He, with the cool eye of a man who has been to hell and back and
still smelled of ashes and lost dreams, knowing that he had done so
many, many things wrong, and had thrown away all that was simple and
good, accepting his horrible errors, but unable to accept his loss,
finding the world around him bleak and barren, empty and cold,
without her, considered the past.

7.  Crying is a must.  Sobbing, weeping, dissolving into sorrow, and
so on, is simply necessary.  EXCEPTION:  If your character is
possessed of rigid self-control, you may then write many vivid
descriptions of hir struggle to remain sane while repressing hir
emotions.

EXAMPLE A:

She turned from him, her face set and cold, and stalked through the
door.  Safely in the car, her control dissipated, and she wept, wild
and long, until her eyes were dry and her throat raw with sobs.

EXAMPLE B:

His harsh breathing was the only sound in the dark night.  His
breath steamed into the icy air, as he fought to maintain his
control.


7.  The use of popular songs is highly recommended.  For maximum
effect, quote a song lyric, then make your characters fit their
situations to that lyric.  Do this for the entire song, no matter
how poorly the two actually mesh.  For maximum overdrive effect, have
your character actually listen to the song.  For maximum overdrive
effect likely to cause brain implosion, use Celine Dion songs.

EXAMPLE: [*NOT* using a Dion song.  I value my health.]

==It's been a long road We've walked the last mile==

He watched her walk away as the radio droned in the background.
*Yes,* he realised.  *Yes.  We truly -have- walked our last mile
together. This is where it ends, for us.*

==We reach the same conclusion And we stop for a while==

She turned to look at him briefly, briefly.  They had reached the
same conclusion, all right: They could not stay as they were.  They
could not stay together.   One pause, a meeting of eyes, and they
were gone.

==Together we know The way we must go==
==We're leaving an illusion That's only for us to share==

*Love was our last illusion,* he thought.  *False all along.  Oh, my
love.*

*Good-bye,* she thought, as their eyes met, for perhaps the last
time.  *I love you.  I... loved you.*

==We live our separate lives And go our different ways==

*This is it,* he knew, and his heart shattered inside him, bleeding
and burning.

==Cause we don't see eye to eye And we can't stand face to face==

*I can't look him in the eye.  I won't face him anymore.  I won't
let him hurt me anymore,* she decided, feeling her soul freeze at the
thought of leaving him.

And she left.

8.  Make sure your readers know the intensity of your characters'
feelings through the use of punctuation.

EXAMPLE:

"*NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!*"  The man's voice rose in a terrible
howl!!!

9.  And last, but not least, make sure to keep Prozac around.  Angst
is contagious.


==========

For *really* good angst, I recommend XFiles stuff-- maybe "Mona
Lisas and Mad Hatters" or "Madman Across the Water."  For really
not-good angst, I also recommend XFiles stuff, but I won't name
names.  If I had to find out the hard way, so do you.

Song quoted:  "Separate Lives" by the Alan Parsons Project

========

I've been asked about this a lot, too:

"Motorised Renegade Ninja Croquet"

This is actually a real and true game.  It's sort of a cross between
croquet and polo, played on wheels.  The wheels can consist of:
rollerblades, bicycles, skateboards, etc., and you're supposed to
make motor sounds [Brrrrrrmmmm.... brrrrrrrmmmm.... neeeeeooooowww.
You know.].  You can also  play it from golf carts.  However, I
advise you make sure you have a first aid kit and bail money handy.
The no-mallet rule should be invoked if you're playing with people
who care about winning.  Never play this game with people who have
no sense of humour.  Another fun outdoor game, a distant cousin of
MRNC, is Midnight Death Frisbee.  The name, I think, says it all.


© 1997 Elaine MacMillian 
 
Please direct comments about this guide to the author at RELLY@titan.bke.hu 
.  

Disclaimer

The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest and all characters,
logos, and likenesses therein, are trademarks of and copyrighted
by Hanna-Barbera Productions, Inc., and Hanna-Barbera Cartoons,
Inc., a Turner company. No copyright infringement is intended by
their use on this page.  I and this page are in no way
affiliated with, approved of or endorsed by Hanna Barbera or
Turner Productions.  This page is created by a fan for other fans
out of love and respect for the show, and is strictly a
non-profit endeavor.


Back to JQ:TRA Home Page



A WinnieWorks Production

 Created February 16, 1997