All was peaceful and quiet in the land of Land. The great battle between Daniel the great warrior and the Hell Monster Spotz was long over, the earth having settled back to normal ways of life. Nobody remembered the universal battle between the two mega-powers, because no one wanted to remember how much the battle had threatened the earth.

The old man Ghandi was now around 2300 years old, but he was still a slick old geezer. He went out partying every night, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that said that something bad was now going to happen again.

One night Ghandi was bungi jumping without a chord, (he's not only a swingin' guy, he's fearless too,) and a vision from the great god K decended upon him telling him:

"Yet another battle is going to threaten the earth, between powers long thought vanished from this realm of existence. I am going to need you, my servant, to once again bring these powers together so that they may battle against each other and not threaten the quadrillions of people that worship me."

So as soon as Ghandi fell the 1400 feet to the rock hard ground below, he got up and immediately started another quest: to raise the eternal warrior Dynyl...

CHAPTER 2

"Okay, so I am the greatest monster of all time!!!"

And the millions of swamp monsters cheered as a leader was finally chosen from among the strongest of the strong.

Spotzz, the strongest swamp monster, rallied the ugly swamp monsters into war. Long had they been hurded underground because of their ugly appearance, and they weren't gonna take it anymore.

Now Spotzz wasn't an ugly swamp monster, he had perfect hair and a bodacious bod that made all the she-male swamp monsters go crazy.

But Spotzz didn't like those ugly things, he was gay and wanted to go out with the eternal warrior from the legends, Dynyl.

Ghandi had long given up on trying to find the eternal warrior Dynyl. His trek had taken him over mountains, oceans, a second hour computer tech class, through east St. Louis, where he was a ghandi in the hood, and over just about any other imaginable landscape you could imagine, but he still hadn't found the slightest trace of Dynyl.

He had even gone over to where he thought the battle had taken place 2240 years ago. But there was just no sign of anything. Then a whispering voice appeared to him:

"If you build it, they will come..."

Ghandi then looked around and saw that he was in a corn field. He then wispered back:

"Haven't I heard this before? Where are you Danny?"

Suddenly the ground started trembling, and it turned soggy and turned into a swamp. Ghandi had no idea what was going on, and when big huge swamp monsters jumped out of the newly formed swamp, he almost... almost became scared.

"You, mortal, shall die and become one of us!"

And then the swamp monsters attacked Ghandi. He used every weapon at his command, his 360 spin kick, his Dragon punch, and that stupid splits move that Van Damme uses, but he still couldn't defeat the swamp monsters.

Then lightning and thunder echoed through the sky, and the air around Ghandi started to crackle with energy. He looked beside him and saw one outrageously muscled dude holding a sword over his head. That guy said:

"By the power of Grayskull, I have the pow..."

The swamp monsters swarmed on him and ate him.

Then Ghandi was once again alone, and was almost afraid for his life. The air started smelling like Spam, and suddenly the great warrior Dynyl was standing beside him.

Or, more over, riding beside him. Dynyl was decked out in the new model 2440 Rust Poc, complete with dual exhaust and holographic video player. He ran over all the swamp monsters that were assaulting Ghandi,and killed them all with his studded tires. He grinned and offered him a ride when he said thanks.

"I, the great warrior, Dynyl am back from the dead to once again save the world."

So Dynyl changed his name to Danny again because it's easier to type, and they made what would have been a 345 day trip in a little under 2 minutes back to Land.

Spotz didn't like Hell anymore. It was too hot and it messed up his hair and bodacious bod. It had been a long time since he battled the great warrior that had defeated him, and he longed for another battle. So he took his Marlboro gun, which was now shriveled to the size of a raisin, and made his way back to earth on the UP escalator.

"Okay, so what new features does this Rust 2000 have?" Ghandi asked as he arrived in Land.

Danny showed him the 233 different guns that hooked onto just the grill and also showed him 8000 mm cannon on top. It could blow a hole straight through the center of the earth, but Danny didn't really need it. He had the power of K to back him up.

So Danny and Ghandi went over to Kluck's to have a few brewskies, and all was well for a little while.

That is, until the Swamp monsters came and overran the earth, destroying all the cities and herding the survivors into concentration camps to be used a breeding stock for new Swamp monsters. So when Danny and Ghandi came out of Kluck's 15 minutes later, things were a little changed.

"Uhh, it looks like were gonna have to save the world again." said Danny.

"Yup."

Spotzz had finally found the love of his life, a gorilla. He loved this gorilla so much, he didn't even want to become leader of the Swamp monsters anymore. Spotzz went to bed, hint hint, with the gorilla again that night, but woke up to the explosion that blew a humongous hole in his wall.

When the dust had cleared, there was a Hell Monster that looked amazingly like him, except with one mondo gun.

"You, imposter of the great Spotz, shall never again see that light of day."

Spotz then shot Spotzz with the legendary Marlboro gun, and blew him apart and into little pieces. The Hell Monster that had killed the legendary hero was back, and more dangerous than ever. Later that night, Spotz rallied the Swamp monsters, who were awed by the strenth and size and power of his Marlboro gun. Especially the gorilla.

So Spotz now had a trillion creature army, one horny gorilla, and his infamous Marlboro gun.

Taking over the world was going to be easy.

Chapter 3

Ghandi and Danny strode through the swamps, irritable and cranky because the swamp was so hot. They had battled all the way through the swamp, and couldn't even go an inch without something jumping out of the swamp and trying to kill them.

"You know, this saving the world bit is a little overrated. I could be at the world dominating franchise Stein House enjoying a burger," said Ghandi, as he used his 360-reverse-turning-double-flip-splits-double-kick-across the-back-of-the-head to kill some kind of dinosaur that tried to eat him.

"No, it is not, when you have the power of K to back you up, you can't possibly lose." said Danny, as he used the power funk of Rust to kill a whole horde of needle-bugs.

"You gotta quit trying to be the legendary hero, it doesn't fit your part," said Ghandi, as he used his 720-triple-reverse-flip-headbutt-of-the-top-of-the-ropes to kill a truck full of demon devils.

"Oh, but I must be, for if I am not the legendary hero, who will be?" said Danny as he used the bass-blast of the bass pyramids of Rust to vibrate the sweet breath of the Kluck monsters to death.

"Because, I found you. And if you don't stop I'll leave you at the scene of the battle, smelling like Spam again," said Ghandi as the did the 1040-quadruple-flip-knee-breaker-from-the-back-of-the-spine-to-the-front-of-the-chest to bust a Arnold from limbo back to where it came from.

"No, I must be, and you can't stop me," said Danny as he used the rust dust from Rust to choke a pair of movie flicks to death.

"Oh, all right, but just don't try to stop me from helping defeat this new world threatening power, okay? I may be a little over 2400 years old, but as you can see, that hasn't decreased my ninja skills any," said Ghandi as he did his patented five-flip-under-their-arms-triple-kick-to-their-teeth-order-a-big-mack-and-eat-it-as-you-watch-them-die-move and killed an entire horde of clickers.

Spotz could have gotten to like being the leader of a trillion Swamp monsters. He had already overrun all of the world's cities in a little under 5 minutes, hoarded all the survivors into concentration camps to be used as breeding stock under 6 minutes, and thoroughly erased that gorilla from the face of the earth with one blast from his new and improved Marlboro gun.

Now, if only he could lure the legendary hero Dynyl from hiding, he would be all right. He longed for another battle with the only match for him on the face of the planet. Fury still burned in his blood from watching Dynyl send him back to where he came from, Hell. But he would get his match, and he would get his revenge too. His new and improved Marlboro gun that he got from the Wal-Mart cigarette department was more powerful than even the legendary weapon Rust. He was sure of it.

Ghandi was getting tired of defeating all these easy monsters, he wanted a real challenge. He and Danny had simply creamed the rest of the monsters in the swamp, and now they faced the creatures that had defeated him the first time: the Swamp monsters.

"We defeated you before, you weak little bald man, and we'll do it again!" screamed the leader of the swamp monsters, Mattmartin.

"That's what you think," said Danny, and he started to rev up Rust, but Ghandi stopped him.

"This is my battle, not yours, Danny. These creatures beat me before, they won't do it again."

And the battle was joined. Twelve of the swamp monsters formed a circle around the geezer, but he used his double-fist-swing-around-on-one-hip-like-Haggar-move to kill them all. Every single one of them.

This was gonna be fun.

The swamp monsters formed the ring-around-the-collar-move that they had used to conquer all the shirts of the world, and tried to use it on the old ninja master. But one simple quadruple flip 20 feet into the air took care of that problem, and Ghandi did the patented 14000-fifty-flip-quadruple-kick-hit-punch-clobber-take-up-an-entire-line-of-typing-move and knocked off their heads.

Suddenly one of the Swamp monsters morphed into a strong muscular black guy with a mohawk. Ghandi was almost frightened, but when he kicked him in the teeth, he knocked him out.

"FINISH HIM!!!"

Ghandi pushed up, up, up, down, block and high punch and ripped the black guys arms, head, legs, and spine off. A low, ominous voice said:

"Ghandi... wins. Fatality. Flawless... victory..."

Danny was getting eager. The ultimate warrior didn't watch battle without a little of the battle fever getting into his veins. A mutant-looking swamp monster with big metal teeth and metal blades came out, and Danny knocked him out.

Danny pushed back, back, forward + block and messed around behind him, and pulled out an umbrella to shield the mutant from the rain. Wussy music blared all around. The voice echoed from nowhere:

"Friendship.... FRIENDSHIP?!!"

Ghandi came over with a disgusted look on his face, looking at Danny as if he lost his will to fight.

"What're you doing, Danny? You just befriended a mutant swamp monster named Baraka! Are you crazy?"

Danny looked hurt. "Hey, I've never done my friendship before. I just figured now would be a good time to start. I mean, I've done my fatality where I turn into a big blue Rusty truck and run them over, I just wanted something different."

Ghandi didn't have time to reply, because a dozen of the swamp monsters jumped out of the swamp and tried to ambush him. The old man quickly rolled Forward, Down-Forward and pushed High Punch. Ghandi then jumped about 20 feet up into the air, yelling "Shoryuken!!" He knocked all of the swamp monsters out with the power of the Dragon.

"You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance." said Ghandi, as the swamp monsters sunk back into the swamp.

"You had to use that old stand-by, didn't you? You always used that dumb move to beat opponents all the time." said Danny.

"I can't help it I've mastered the move and it's been over two years and you can't even do it. Come to think of it, you can't even do the patented Screwdriver."

Ghandi and Danny maneuvered through the swamp, using various special attacks and controller combinations to totally destroy all the swamp monsters. As soon as they were out of the swamp, they saw only one monster left, Mattmartin.

"You may have defeated the armies I commanded, but you can't defeat me! I am invincible."

"We'll see about that," said Ghandi.

Ghandi and Mattmartin circled each other, eyeing their opponents and getting ready to clobber one another. This would be one of the most powerful battles since the legendary warrior Dynyl and the Hell Monster Spotz battled. Danny backed Rust Poc out of the way of the battle range, knowing that if Ghandi didn't defeat Mattmartin, he would have a complex about Swamp monsters for the rest of his life. Danny didn't want that, since Ghandi already had a complex over Disco and Airplane, so he let the battle go since he thought Ghandi was a little cracked anyway.

"You won't make it out of this swamp, Ghandi. I will break you and chew on your bones and suck out the marrow." Mattmartin ominously said.

"Ewwww!! Get gross why don'cha? Hey...", Ghandi pointed at a spot past Mattmartin's head. "Is that Elvis?!"

"Huh? Where?" Mattmartin turned around, giving Ghandi the opening he needed.

One Ghandi-power-up-brandish-a-sword-out-of-nowhere-and-power-up-and-slash-the-evil-swamp-moster-Mattmartin-so-hard-that-the-screen-flashes-and-it-makes-the-author's-hand-tired power up move later, Mattmartin had a terrible slash across his chest, and was bleeding terribly.

Mattmartin was breathing heavily, and looked at Ghandi with fear in his eyes.

"I had not known you were that powerful. But you shall not beat me again, even if you do brandish those powerful super-moves-that-are-really-really-strong-and-can-kill-almost-anything."

"Patented Ghandi move. You can't copy it. Any unauthorized reprint or retransmission of these moves is in strict violation of FCC code 1234. They cannot be reprinted without direct consent or written permission of Ghandi moves, P.O. Box 165, Baldy, Zimbabwe 14665. Because you have broken the law, you'll have to pay, scumbag." Ghandi brandished his Wrath of Ghandi blade menacingly.

Mattmartin sneered. "Go ahead and try it, bald freak." Mattmartin then pulled out a pair of Freddy-like claws, and stuck them over one hand. "If you think I'm ugly," he said, "You oughta see yourself after this match. He he he he! No one calls me ugly! No one but my wife, that is."

A small blue clad referee suddenly appeared, and flashed a flag. "Ippon!" (Fight in Japanese!) He then began to run around and throw stuff like entire chickens and small bombs.

Ghandi called on his Ghandi hawk, Yermamahaha, and the hawk came down and set Mattmartin on fire. Mattmartin got up, and blew a purple cloud of gas at Ghandi, trying to poison him. Ghandi jumped over it, and did a fire-like sliding move that cut Mattmartin's feet out from underneath him. Mattmartin got up, and started doing circular flips with his claws, and went everywhere, but Ghandi dodged it, and did a flying up fire move that sent Mattmartin to the ground.

Ghandi sat back, and got the angriest look on his face, he turned red and started charging Mattmartin. He grabbed him, and did his fatality move. He did the jump-in-the-air-do-at-least-800-flips-while-set-on-fire-and-do-800-more-flips-falling-to-the-mat-and-land-with-a-sickening-crunch-break-Mattmartin's-claws-and-his-neck-and-cut-him-in-half move that finished Mattmartin once and for all.

Ghandi got up, turned back to a normal color, and went into a Heisman trophy stance and said "Nakyogringo," an called Yermamahaha down to his arm. He then looked back at Danny, who was duly impressed.

"You are now fit to be my partner." Danny said. "But you still can't beat my Crescent Moon Slash."

"That's too strong of a move, I'd catch you on the way down with my slide across the ground move anyway." Ghandi replied. "Chicken-boy."

"Shut up, Wrath of Ghandi man."

Spotz turned around to his spies, who had seen the battle in the swamp and had told him that a great hero who looked like Stone Cold Brian Bosworth and a small, Screech-looking bald man with awesome combos were coming. He grinned to himself and stroked his Marlboro gun. Pervert.

" Now I will get my revenge, Dynyl, and there is nothing you can do about it!!! Come on out, Wheatie!" Spotz motioned for someone to step out of the shadows behind him. A man who looked like he just finished watching Bikini Summer came out of the shadows, he had huge calves and had about 15 babes from college following him.

"Yesuh, whatta do youa want. mastuhuh?" He flexed his calves and the babes went crazy.

"I want you to cut off Dynyl and Ghandi, and stall them before you get kille-- before I am ready."

Wheatie made a stupid kung-fu motion and said: "Wellah ohkay, myuh mastuhuh...oh, mastuhuh?"

"What?" Spotz said.

"Do you wanna play Magic?"

Spotz pointed his Marlboro gun at him, and Wheatie backed off, but not before he muttered

"My wheatie is bigger than your Marlboro gun, my girls like eating Wheaties for breakfast..."