Any look-see aimed at our burg must always start at the Pratt Falls Hat Museum.

This is our town's pride and joy, as you will find out if you should ever visit.

For this Web site, I have personally chosen pictures of two hats that museum patrons are always asking about.

First there is this hat worn to Pratt Falls by our founder, Amos Lester Pratt.

Amos was scheduled to come to America on the Mayflower, but when he arrived at the dock, he found out that the ship was overbooked.

Actually, this turned out to be a stroke of luck, because he got to sail on the next ship free-of-charge.

With the money he had thus saved, he was able to buy the farmland which soon became what is now our fair community.

This other picture shows a hat that has to be my personal favorite.

That's because I always wear this lampshade at the annual City Employees Appreciation Party.

Next stop on our tour is the former Pratt Falls Palace, which is still standing, but now serves as our new movie house.

Many famous acts appeared at the Palace during its long and glorius history.

I don't like to brag about it, but once those Rolling Stones singers came through Pratt Falls on one of their tours, so even they have played the Palace.

I don't have to tell you that if I had been mayor back then, that this particular act would not have been allowed on our stage.

Chief Davis remarked to me once later on that he doesn't know why they call themselves the Rolling Stones.

Because from their looks, he thought that they had probably gathered plenty of moss along their way, as well as some little sqiggly things

(I mean besides them there groupies).

Like I was saying, the Palace has been remade into the Pratt Falls "Thee-8-ter."

This name signifies that there are eight different rooms to watch movies therein.

Right now, since the agency still sends just one film each week, we have to play the same attraction in each of the eight cinemas.

This is especially hard on their projectionist, since he has to rush to get the next reel to each booth on time.

(Hopefully he has time to rewind, too)

Incidently, this week they are showing the sequel to the movie called "Beaches," you know the one that starred that Betty Midler.

We had a word for a girl like that back when I was in school, but I won't use it here because our home page is not one of those X-Rated ones.

I don't know exactly what this new film is called, but since it is the sequel it might be "Son of Beaches."

A new, but already favorite, spot in Pratt Falls is

Wanda's Wacky Weddings

Wanda's motto is that she likes to do almost anything to please her clients (except get hitched to one of them herself, I guess).

Her special right now is a complete virtual wedding, entirely conducted right on her own computer.

If you ask me, these newlyweds look like they're happy to know that with Wanda's cyber-ceremony, they can skip the receiving line and get right down to business.

Our community tour must now come to an end, at the other attraction we all hold dear.

That is, of course, the Pratt Falls Nuclear Power Station

We can't show you a picture of it on the Web, because we still can't be sure that there aren't Ruskies out there in cyber-space who would target our plant for destruction, if they could get a good enough peek at it.

But I can tell you that this facility has put Pratt Falls on the map.

In fact, last year at our annual Chernobyl Days festival, we had Pat Boone himself singing right here in Pratt Falls.

We were supposed to get his daughter, Debbie Boone, you know, who had that hit song that "You Light up my Life."

But we were more than glad to have Dad substitute while Debbie was at that Betty Ford facility, probably doing some college research.

Anyway, Pat did us proud by singing a special nuclear power version of his daughter's hit, which he calls "You Light Up My Wife."

You may have wondered why we are called Pratt Falls, and yet you do not hear anything else about these waterfalls.

Here the power plant comes into play once again.

The river that used to provide the water for these falls has been diverted, and now flows directly into the plant's cooling towers.

That is why our visitors see all that mist going up into the air.

But we like to think that the falls are still here with us.

It's just that the water falls up now instead of down.

Another facet of the plant that the youngsters especially enjoy is our annual drill,

in which we evacuate the city, and I'm talking damn quick!

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