The Devil was a bum. He told everybody that he was the Devil, which probably was not too sly, but nobody believed him, so it did not matter, anyway. One night he came into this cheap bar downtown. He waited at the door until he was sure of the bar flies' attention and said:

"Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name, but what's puzzling you is just the nature of my game. I'm the Devil!"

And with a big slimy grin that revealed his yellow teeth he bowed like a third class actor. His rusty, wasted voice sent shivers down everyone's spine.

When Billy, the barkeeper, asked what he wanted, the Devil came real close to him and said with a smile:

"I want your soul. But for now a Whiskey will do."

He got his Whiskey and later on he got Billy's soul.

From that day on he was a regular. He always came in the afternoon with the same line, sat down in a corner and had a couple of drinks. He stayed until the bar closed. For hours he remained at his place in solitude, muttering something, no one could understand. He never bothered anyone unless he was talked to. If so, he became wordy, told weird tales and laughed a lot, but no one ever got anything decent out of him, it was impossible to have a normal conversation with him. He was living in his own fucked up world.

At first nobody took notice of him. He was a bum in the true sense of the word. His clothes were dirty and torn, his hair greasy and he smelled so badly of alcohol and God knows what that nobody could stand his presence for more than a few minutes. But nights are long when you do not want to go home to the wife, and soon the boys began to talk about him. They wondered where he came from and what had turned him into a freak. He was not the only bum around, but he was the Devil. It was not compassion they felt but curiosity. Whoever ended up spending his nights at this place, was one step from insanity. The Devil had taken the next step and they wondered whether it was an option. It could not get much worse.

At first they blamed it on cheap booze, then Freddie suggested a woman:

"It' s gotta be a woman. Only a woman can do that kind of thing to a man. Just look at him."

And the boys looked at the Devil.

But Freddie did not know anything about women. He was a bachelor and probably believed in love. The others knew. Their women drove them up the wall, that was one reason why they came to the place, but their women could not inflict that kind of pain.

Someone suggested, he might have taken part in some massacre in Vietnam, where they had wiped out a whole village, and all this madness had made him freak out. Others figured he had been a Russian spy who had found out about some secret weapon and the FBI had brainwashed him. One day Joe came in and said:

"I know about the Devil! I thought him all day and now I know. Do you remember Altamont?"

The boys were not sure.

"Altamont. That Rockfestival in '69. Remember? Hell's Angels stabbed this black guy while the Rolling Stones performed."

"Yeah, and all the drugs have turned his brains into jelly", someone added.

The boys stared into their beers and nodded. Not because they thought it was true or they remembered Altamont, but because they felt like nodding.

The longer they wondered the stranger the stories got, and before long some wondered whether he was really the Devil.

For some time they had a bet going, who would first reveal the Devil's past. They watched him, talked to him and put up theories, but they never found out anything about him. They could not even tell how old he was. He had no scars or tattoos, the only thing they noticed was that he limped slightly.

After a while they got tired of their bet and forgot about it. But they kept talking about him.

Sometimes one of the boys called him to their table to get some cheap laughs.

"Tell us a story", they said. "Tell us what you did, Devil."

The Devil came and the boys leant back in anticipation of a tale and some laughs, not to forget to avoid his offensive smell.

"I was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain. Yeah, man! I made him doubt. I caused him pain. I brought him this slut. The finest woman you could find in Jerusalem. Man, I can tell you, I fucked her inside out. She sucked my horny horn, it made me howl like a hellhound", he croaked laughing.

"I almost got the G-man. That's what we called him. The G-man! Yeah, that's right. But then his fucking father interfered - the ugly motherfucker."

And the boys laughed, seeing the Devil get all excited with his Whiskey-soaked eyes.

"And I made sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate. Yeah, man, that's right. I brought the water and a towel and soap. Yeah, that's right. HE washed his hands and sealed his fate."

"They didn't have soap back then", someone argued.

And the Devil replied:

"Whaddaya know? Were you there? Are you the Devil? I didn't see you back in the old days in Jerusalem, man! Whaddaya know?"

And the boys laughed. They liked to listen to his stories. It killed time, although he only had a few stories he kept repeating. About killing the Czar and his ministers and rolling a tank in a General's rank while the blitzkrieg raged and the bodies stank or about killing Troubadours before they reach Bombay.

The Devil became a part of their lives, and they kept on making fun of him. But he was never put off. The Devil just grinned at their laughter and said:

"Wait who gets the last laugh."

And although they laughed, they thought a lot about him, and they wondered whether he told the truth. But they figured this place was too shabby even for the Devil.

If he did not show up occasionally, they wondered, what he might be up to.

"He's out to get some soul", they said and did not know whether to laugh or not.

One day a prostitute came in. She had only been on the streets for a couple of days. She was upset and tried to scave a drink from the boys. When Billy saw this he told her to go to hell. At this the Devil listened up and stopped his mumbling.

"Hey, Baby!" he shouted. "Come with me and you can have all you want. Let's strike a deal. My dick's red hot as a chilipepper!"

"And as big!" someone added and the boys laughed, except for the prostitute who hesitated but finally agreed. The two had a couple of drinks and then they went, leaving the boys wondering whether women liked to be fucked by red hot chilipepper dicks. One of the boys said, he had once sliced a chilipepper and then had a leak.

"Bloody hell," he said, "I thought my cock was on fire. I had to put it in a glass of water to stop the flames from catching on to my pants!"

They had their fun and the girl was never seen again. But things like that happened.

The Devil often went to prostitutes. No one knew where he took the money from, but he always had enough for Whiskey and whores. Of course, only the cheapest would come with him, the old, ugly, pushers, but there were plenty of them around. Sometimes they would rip him off and take all his money. They told the boys about it, even in the Devil's presence. And the Devil listened and smiled as if he had known all along and said:

"A Devil's bargain is a fool's bargain. Wait who gets the last laugh."

But he never complained or did anything about it.

The day Billy was run over by an ambulance on duty, the Devil came in, waving his fist in joy.

"I've got it!" he yelled. "It's here in my fist. I've got Billy's soul!"

He began to laugh and did not stop, even when the boys told him to, it was not funny. They took him out on the streets and beat the living crap out of him. Even Doreen had a go and she was the nicest soul on Earth.

But the Devil kept on laughing and yelled:

"You mortal fools! Don't you know, you can't hurt me. I'm the Devil!"

And he would not open his fist, even when Johnny jumped on it and you could hear the bones break, he held it firmly closed.

After that incident they did not see him for a long time, and the boys did not really expect him to return. But after 49 days he was back with his usual line, as if nothing had happened. There were no hard feelings, neither on his nor on the boys' side. They had actually missed him. He had always been good to talk about when there was nothing left to say. And besides, they never liked Billy, anyway.

"Who are you going to take next?" they asked.

And the Devil just smiled and said: "You never know. But one thing is for sure: I'm gonna get you all in the end."

But he never got anyone again. A couple of months later he was found frozen stiff in a back street. And the boys kept on talking about him, and they had the last laugh.