23 Oct 1969 to 8 Jan 1970
Boot camp at Orlando, Flordia; excluding two weeks of leave for Christmas.

9 Jan 1970 to mid Dec 1970
Advance Aviation Electronics School at Memphis.

Mid Dec 1970 to 30 Jun 1971
First months at NAS Oceana in Virginia Beach Virginia.

5 July 1971

     Lately, when I sit outside and put myself in moods -- I return to the old thoughts, about the stars and uneverse, which were part of me when I was thirteen.
     A certain word or phrase will make me remember something yhears ago.
     I sit here by the ocean and think of the camping trips to the beach.
     At the moment I dont think I will sell 'the' two years of my life -- I want to get out and become a beach bum like I always wanted. I could use the money, buy Dad a car and even spend some on myself.
     I would like to write some in my book, but I can't get started.
     I would like to walk down this beach and neet a nice good looking girl, but I have no confidence in myself that that will ever happen. What does it take to meet someone?

13 July 1971

     Tonight I am sitting in the dining room of 422 Amsterdam Apt. taping radio played records. I tried a telephone tap but chickended out when he said hold on.
     I worked this weekend -- stayed til 4:00 both days -- got pissed off at Charlie because of poor handling. -- I WORKED --
     Last night I tried some Telekenics and thought about the Universe and Teleportation. telekinesis (kinaesthesia, sic. kinetical to move - perception).
     I just finished looking the preceding words up and moving the recording equip upstairs. I am now sitting out front. I will have to organize my mood again after the concentrated effort of looking up those words.
     I still have my admiration of a well built & handsome young man (boy?) and also a beautiful and well built young girl (lady) and I still put the two together. Love must be truly wonderful == for a flashback I think of playing - as a kid - i the big bush trees on the bank on the side of the road. It was a fasination sitting over the edge of the bank watching the cars go by.
     In reference to the short story "The ShipWreck of Joseph B. --" I noticed that my life is like that aboard one of the ships. Cutting oneself off from others -- putting off access taht should be done.
     I dont write letters like i should -- a roll of film sitting in the closet, buing a surfboard.

24 July 1971

     I bought a paddle board yesterday and tried it out today -- the tide was low and I did not enjoy it -- the undercurrent drag was strong too. I will try at high tide tomorrow hope everything works out good. I also flew the kite and parachute the chute is either in the ocean or on the beach -- Lost & Found.
     It has been another thrilling Saturday evening. Boards, long hair - motor cycles - cars - clothes - time - friendship - love - stars - perception - then there was - no - more - no - more.

29 July 1971 Thursday Night

     walked VaB. boardwalk and Atlantic Ave. and cruised Atlantic Ave once. people - good people and young are still containers of great secrets. --Secrets which are shared with close friends or with no one at all -- I want - both - to know and not to know.
=== A Circle of Friends ====

A depressing - empty weekend.

1 August 1971, Sunday Night

     The group of Amsterdam Court is at 429 or 430 is at 429.

     Chuck has returned from leave at Folly Beach. He had a great time and made it.

August 10 1971, Wed.

     I have been put on eves now -- And with great difficulty- I am overcoming my laziness which comes with working those hours. If I could force myself to initiate some activity early in the mornig the hours would be great.
     I feel satisfied at the moment sicne I am at SandBridge. Chuck and Ken bought bicycles so I guess I will do the same, with the next paycheck.
     Night time. Went to work and learned that I made 2nd so ended up with the night off. Went to Pembroke and bought cigars, pants & candies. Went with Chuck. Spent money together, talked about saving and spendig money, Enjoyed these parts. Walked around the Village and swung on the swings at the park. Karen and company friend were gathered at the end of the street.
     Chuck is talking to his father. --- Lie ---
     Saturday night at a Roller Skating ring. I saw an Old couple skaating. I saw a young man make it with a girl on a Ladies Chocie and I saw the little people smoking.
     A conclusion was made from a question Chuck asked me -- "I have never been in love."
     Chuck has an alternate plan for disertion. Stems from trip to Folly Beach on Labor Day. May not return. Semi-serious 1 2 3

September 12, 1971

     Chuck is sitting with Carrol -- talking. Talking is a talent which I never developed, probably because I was mostly alone.
     It takes Time to Know Me.
     What I think is that I imagine and it's true, Carrol prefers Chuck over me and I can see why since she likes to talk and listen.
     I decided to stay, rather than go to DC. We roller skated Friday night - Chuck and Carrol - I watched the sunrise and me the woman on the beach. I blew it when I sat in the middle. Chuck stayed home and enjoyed his Boones Farm and I went to Moose with the Family. I sat most of the time. I dance two slow -- last one better than the first -- and one fast (forgive me Patricia).
     I remembered Louis-Louis. I thought mostly of the Boones Farm I was missing. Wish Bob would get lost.
     Accomplished nothing today and now Carrol is talking with Chuck. Since Ken is with tehm, I will aslo join the four.
     {Post note from Nov 27: Carrol wrote no letters.

Sept 15 1971

     Chuck said something which did not register with me; then I pressured him and he refused. I got that it referred to Monday Night -- Carrol's last night here -- and it also concerned me - Joe - He said, "I am sorry Joe" then we determined that it was Monday night.
     Possiblity - mine final departure, me in {unreadable} - Chuck's superiority.
     I also mentioned "The Game" and now they know what to expect.
     My first objective is to determine "privilege". I note now that he watned to go to bed soon after we started to pressure. Chuck and Ken are now in their room, going to sleep with music which I will do now when I finish here. I msut remember NOT NOT to pressure him for a while...
     Note that He did not return the kiss which Carrol gave each of us.
     Sam saind that he will tell us the secret but not as a secret. It is difficult to tell with Chuck.
     I am now up at DC. We have talked till one and now going to bed. I have arraged things to be liviable and have reviewed the foregoing. Since Sam's comment, I am thinking of giving "privilege". Privilege mostly to put an end to the problem -- recall the sobering effect of wanting to know.
     Now that I have one bottle of Ripple Red in me, I will confirm "Privilege"

Saturaday September 18, 1971

     It has been an interesting experience, Chuck!

Mon Jun 29 1998, 1 of 2
     For two days now I've typed, read, typed, reflected. The first book is done now, there's six or seven more left, along with the loose papers and loose thoughts, and they are the more verbose ones.
     Dont suppose many of you caught the it in couple of the earlier entries. Oh well, the entry was made and I copied them as they were. This is suppose to be a bareing of my soul you know.
     Yeah, I was nineteen - twenty with no girlfriend, in a college crowd filled with pairs, and I did have a vivid imagination of what life was suppose to be for teens. So what does a nineteen year old boy do, alone, on open fields and in the woods? You go figure it out.
     The voids, those long periods of silence, above, the BootCamp thing and Memphis year, I'll fill them in with BackTracked Resurrection of Memories later.

Mon Jun 29 1998, 2 of 2
     Ok. It was 1971. I spent the first few months on base in the barracks. Made a few friends, one of which was Bob. He was getting a group together to share an apartment off base, about June I suppose. I got in. The other two were Chuck and Ken. Chuck and I became best friends, thus the entries above.
     So that's the scene for the Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring of 1971 - 72. Bachelors enlisted men in the Navy living off base in an apartment in "The World's Largest Resort City."
     The next long series in this Journal is taken from the notebook I called Putting Some Thoughts Together, including Robbie's Folly.

Putting Some Thoughts Together, 1971-72

somewhere...somehow...someway...someday

a person's existance is like a weekend at the beach--an experience to be experienced and once experienced to be remembered in the mind--for all that is left after the weekend is gone---a person ceases to exist for another---is the memory in each other's mind.

the mind controls the emotions which are expressed with the body
sharing experiences--to be alive and living
to hold, to touch, to be together, to love
do friends keep individual secrets

i have no friend-i have no need of friendship--frindship causes pain
i touch no one and no one touches me
i will not desturb memories in slumber, if i had never loved, i would never have felt no pain
i am a rock--i am an island--a rock feels no pain--an island never cries
he is a most peculiar man

you seem to be so lonely---as lonely as the man with no name from no where going no where

it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... it don't matter to me... seven times over

it is an empty world, my friend, with so many people-- i know
it is--my friend--an empty world with so many persons i know

safe within my room--my books and poetry will protect me

no i won't--i will not risk my love, my love on you ---- and affection.

the sounds of lovers in love, life is for two together

it is important

steps i can never climb, to a goal i will never reach

love is... a tough girl and a tough boy

once was a time i thought, love could be sold or bought, and everything fell in place for me

if you talk to no one, no one will talk to you, and because no one talks to you, you talk to no one, here we go around again, here we go around again

you will find that in the end, the world will still be here; and you will be gone

it is a percentage comparsion, to be average - common; to be smart - studious; to be super smart - care-less; to be genius - --- highly perceptive, a fake

consider this when considering personalities - whether or not the person depends on material objects

Robbie's Folly

no i wont--i will not risk my love--my love on you--and affection
parallel of ralph's family (scratch)
don't forget tony of the anchor
and she said 'i want a picture of you, joe and ken by your car'
it don't matter with me
i love hair and lots of it

i have made my way to the nature tails--i found the as of a spot i started the new series with thoughts--do friend keep individual serets? close friends; priviledge; individual secrets; sharing

i found a robin and a ralph and also neither
he is a different person all together
robin and ralph are old and past weekends
fiel them as such--make no comparsions

what have i accomplished tonight went to the park--rode down the strip, stopped for a while, got one dollar of gas and drove to the mall, watched the people, checked the skating, returned, seven minutes arrival -- watch the people

when i came in the back door robbie shot me--why? read in kill me; stop it; cool it; i know; i know you know

the next night i got off work early-slept till two washed clothes and car checked work and picked up ken i cleaned out the car and organized it which lead to the room for the same. finished that watched a little of jasque cousto chuck got up i asked for five got three from ken chuck left so i folled got gas and ate at international pancakes--jumbo shrimp--will probably go down to the mall

to know what he knows, to think like he thinks, to be as he is

reading too much in. priviledge is to be an individual. friends--to share some priviledges

what is he trying to tell me--we read--stare--each other, at one time or he reads me and i try to read him

does he go out just to bug me--to satisfy himself to get satisfaction--does he have a girl here does he pick up girls

are my fantises becoming my reality--fantises are used as a crutch

is he as he is--he is as he is--he is he

is my integrity broken and weaking am i self punishing-- why--where are my girls--i have none--sympathy i want perhaps, everyone is better than me. the time has come; lay off billy; no billy no; whatever you say billy.

so--he has beenat the movies. joke--joke--joke

even though it is a big act; looking always serious never smiling; moods--what mood today; all moods which one predominent; missed it again.

i have had no friends, so i have been alone

remember louis-louis, patricia

this is certaily a lively group, carol sleeping, joe sittig on the floor with his wine and you dragging around

sam said that he will tell us the secret but not as a secret. it is difficult to tell

that morning of the return from arlington; it was a beginning with old habits but doc valley pegged every detail

seperately

he stayed at the apartment to drink. he is not impressed with breaking boards

inpassant

cherry pink and apple blossom white

can robbie out think me

why am i analyzing friendships; am i envious

i build personalities beyond what they really are

safe behind my thought -- my thoughts are my world and my thoughts will protect me

they will destroy you

there is no problem, he probably does nto try to out think me, he goes about his business and that is all i have been creating, problems.

everything is happening, but not to me

or does he no longer play

there is no competition

he talks of being selfish, television in room--this is selfish and i like it--i won't share--later at the end of the show this sucks--it won't last--you'll get yours

we talked of traveling light; rolling stones gather no moss--lie; home of operations; sollecting possessions

keeping busy; needs the money; without planning he can be easily talked into something

twenty-fourth--twenty-seventh

last night i got off early chuck left and i went out to make the ciruits--princess anne and atlantic; returned to the apartment; chuck and i het an dmiss; outside at one he is leaning on his car wearing his levis coat--looking and feeling--adopt future situations to meeat past obligation...

he lives as his background has lead him to live

i have respect fo the priviledge to be an individual and his priviledge to privacy; i am cautious about interfering--wrecking frindships

a friend does not sit by and watch a friend get hurt

i feel that if anyone has something to say he will say it

robbie came home from duty and left again. i got up and went ot eat breakfast. he had gone to cathlic mass. i helped him work on his car all afternoon. ken he and i went to dairy twist and ate. we quit work about six-thirty. i took a shoer and got ready to go out. robbie planned to go skating. there is no understanding. in the kitchen i tell him about the backways of the mall. 'you want me to tell you or find our for yourself?' 'wait, i'll get my coat and go with you.' out to cause trouble, stay out of the trouble you cause. speeding ticket--precient. make it to the mall got in the back way to the theater walk around the mall looking for others see the group coming from the plaza, study the layout in the mall make it to the plaza circle and parked to walk around plan to get on top only trouble is age we see the kids on top make an attempt--comment--listen to the sounds--around front chase the kids off i always wanted to climb a light pole

he is two faced--janus--traitor

he can live his life the way he wants--i have no right to influence nor no right or privilege to question

remember the day we went to take the tests--we past a guy coming out of the fort 'you're making a mistake---twenty four hours!'

the impressions of a plaza; the impressions of a mall. people shopping spending money; looking at the store fronts; back allies; vandelism; nice to look at; meeting places; romantic; rustic; seasonal, weather more noticable; rain everybody wet; cold and coats

plaza; brisk october breeze; blown trash n circles; the coldness of wind of coat; the fall stars of a dark sky; lights that are on; lights that are out; the lateness of the hour; the sound of water pouring down a storm drain; the sound of a can beign kicked across the pavement in the silent sounds of the night; the smell of the dumpsters

last night i smoked a cigarette---it reminded me of my first cigarette, in the hight school parking lot waiting for robin, i had gone up town to buy a pack, Benson & Hedges--and on the way to raleigh

paths of lives; apart--meet--part again

plaze ---freak out

canfield races; drag way forty two; quaker city. draught house; college hang out; choosen few; gods people; guardian angels. dukes; cavilars; street gangs. cherry street. on the return; control of control; confidence; self integrity.

the power to do what i want when i want

to turn myself off; to change moods and attitudes; endurance; control thoughts and subjects; concentration on varity of subjects; lies; fantises; achieve clear; psycology