Fic info.
Millenium: Born to Hate
My friends are all so cynical
They refuse to keep the faith.
We all enjoy the madness
'cause we know we're gonna fade away.
Xander stared blankly at the happy people dancing in the streets at Times Square from across the room and reached down inside of himself, trying to find some of the leftover Christmas spirit that fueled New Years. Like his other emotions, the spirit was buried too deep to dig out. So he continued to stare blankly at the TV, refusing to remember his family or even his friends.

"Hey," a soft voice greeted; Xander tore his eyes from the screen to look up at Oz. He nodded is head in acknowledgement and returned his eyes to the screen. Oz shrugged and sat down next to Xander who scooted away to avoid any bodily contact with him.

"Shouldn't you be hanging onto Willow's every word?" Xander snapped, unjustified anger flowing through him.

"Willow isn't around," he shrugged, masking the hurt in his voice still left from the breakup.

"So?" Xander growled. Silence descended on the two of them as they both watched the revelry in New York.

"You want to talk about it?" Oz finally asked.

"About what?" Xander turned his dead eyes to Oz. "My family? They're dead. What's to talk about?"

"How about what you're going through?" Oz replied.

Xander snorted in contempt, "Yeah, let's discuss my feelings. Well, how about this, Wolf, I hate you." The two boys stared at each other for several seconds. "You took my best friend away from me when I needed her the most."

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not," Oz replied. "I loved Willow. Still do." Xander snorted again.

"Love isn't worth it," Xander replied as thoughts of finding his family dead inside their house wormed their way to the front of his brain.

"Sometimes it is," Oz replied, noticing the struggle that was going on in Xander's eyes.

"Do you really think I want to discuss this with you? With anyone?" Xander snapped, anger clouding the memories.

"Do you really think you can afford not to?" Oz commented, "You're dying, Xander. Maybe not physically, but mentally."

"Maybe I am. What of it?" he replied. "Everyone else I've cared about has died."

"Buffy's not dead. Willow's not. Cordelia isn't." He paused for a second. "I'm not."

"Let's see, Buffy died against the Master, then she died slowly inside while Angel ran rampant, then she abandoned us all for three months. She's as dead to me now as she was then." Xander took a deep breath. "Willow died to me when she abandoned our friendship to keep _you_ happy. And Cordelia," Xander chuckled, darkly. "See, nobody really matters, and nobody really cares."

"What if I said I care?" Oz asked softly. Xander looked down at his hands as the countdown in Times Square.

*10!*

"I'd say you were full of shit."

*9!*

"I do care, Xander. I wouldn't be here talking to you if I didn't."

*8!*

"Oh, you're gonna make me cry."

*7!*

"Stopping being sarcastic for one second. Maybe you'll see I'm serious."

*6!*

"Why should you care? You've never cared before."

*5!*

"Yes, I have. I just....didn't have a chance to tell you."

*4!*

"So the turn of the century is your big moment to be charity guy?"

*3!*

"Xander, please, just talk to me."

*2!*

"Give it up, Oz. I don't want to be your friend or your pity case."

*1!*

Oz sighed heavily, then he let his hand weave around Xander's head and pulled his face to his. Xander struggled against Oz's hands, but added werewolf strength allowed the smaller boy to hold Xander in place. He pressed his lips to Xander's and gently nudged his mouth open. Oz slipped his tongue into Xander's mouth and gently touched the other boy's.

* Happy New Year! *

Xander's arms involuntarily wrapped around Oz as the kiss deepened. Reluctantly Oz pushed Xander away gently.

"I do care," Oz whispered. Xander looked away and rose to his feet. He took a few steps away from Oz but turned back to face him.

"Thanks for the therapy, Wolf," he replied with a ghost a real smile and a tiny spark of life returning to his eyes.

"Your welcome," Oz whispered, rubbing his lips still swollen from the kiss as Xander walked away.