Touch of Evil
Part Seventeen
Author: Amanda Arlequin
E-mail: aca203@is8.nyu.edu
Rating: R/NC-17 overall (some parts are mild)
Summary: This is the story of the cat and mouse game Angelus plays with
Willow, and the romance that follows.
Spoilers: This takes place after Angel loses his soul but before Becoming,
which never happened in my 'verse.
I will keep and discard Buffy lore as I see fit.
Disclaimer: While I have taken the liberty of adding a few characters of
my own creation, all of the original BtVS characters and their world
belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and The WB. The lyrics used in this
part are from the song "My Own Prison" by Creed and belong to them. All
are used
without permission and no copyright infringement is intended.
**Hey, what's the point of this
Hey, what's your favorite song,
maybe we could hum along
Well, I think you're smart,
you sweet thing
Tell me your name
I'm dying here
Got you where I want you
Got you where I want you**
**"Got You Where I Want You"- The Flys**
Willow remained catatonic for two straight days. She didn't move, speak,
or eat the entire time. She merely laid on the bed she shared with
Angelus, her eyes lifeless as they stared at some distant point. As the
third night dawned with no sign of change, Angelus began to worry. While
Willow was ill, Angelus was uncharacteristically kind. He spent great
portions of his time with her, looking after her, waiting for her to
recover. He wanted to be with her when she revived. Angelus also refused
to touch Willow, intimately, while she was in this state. Instead, he
waited out her recovery, relieving his tension and taking out his anger
through torture. His days and nights were spent alternating between his
time with Willow and his time punishing his human doppelganger. Angelus
took pleasure in letting his soul think Willow was alive and well, too busy
fucking him to even remember Angel or his deceptions. The motional death
and physical torture he brought to his soul helped him forget his worries
and take pleasure in the pure release of his demon's ultimate desire to
wound the one that had kept him prisoner for a century.
It was on that third night that Willow began to show signs of life beyond
her continued breathing. Returning from a particularly satisfying session
with Angel, Angelus made sure he washed away all traces of the blood he had
helped shed, the expression on his face devoid of the cruelty that had
marred it only a short while ago. Entering the room, Angelus froze at the
sight of movement. Willow's head was rolling from side to side, her eyes
closed with the lids fluttering. Relieved, Angelus moved to the side of
the bed. Capturing her hand with his, his thumb traced reassuring circles
in her palm as he murmured her name in hopes of fully rousing her. She
began to mumble softly and he strained his ears in an attempt to make out
her words. As he reached out a hand to her cheek, stilling her head's
movement, Willow's eyelids flew open. Her eyes were trained on his face
and for the first time in days she appeared to actually be starring at
rather than through him.
Not waiting for her to speak, Angelus leaned down to press a rather chaste
kiss to her lips. "I'm glad to see you're awake. I was starting to worry,
lover. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming back to me."
She stared at him, eyes wide, an expression of utter bewilderment and
confusion darkening her features. She didn't fight his kiss, nor did she
react to his choice of endearments. There was an internal struggle being
raged in her eyes as she fought for recognition. Angelus wondered if
perhaps permanent damage had been done to her psyche. If it turned out to
be a result of the drugs Buffy had given her, he'd stake the bitch without
a second thought. "Willow, are you alright? Say something if you
understand me."
Willow shifted on the bed, lifting her slight body up so she was half
sitting, half lounging against the pillows. She made a sound with her
throat as if to speak, but all that came out was a strangled croaking.
Handing her a glass of water he'd left on the nightstand earlier, Willow
drank deeply, wincing slightly at the lukewarm temperature. Once the cup
was drained, she spoke around the soreness of her throat. "I hear you…"
Willow paused, grappling for a name her mind wasn't supplying. Puzzled,
she went on, "… but I don't understand."
Angelus frowned. "What don't you understand?"
Willow paused before answering. "Well, you called me a tree before and
I'm not sure why. Also, I have no idea who you are or where I am, and to
be quite honest, I'm not sure who I am either. Then you kissed me and I'm
not even sure if I'm supposed to be kissing you- not that it wasn't nice,
but, I mean, who are you? How do I know you're not some psychotic killer
who's gonna rape and murder me. Not that you seem like one, or I think you
are one, cause I don't think you are. You seem familiar but… I don't know.
Everything's all fuzzy. My head, it hurts." Willow raised a hand to her
temple, massaging the bone beneath her skin. She realized she was babbling
and wondered if it was something she did often.
Angelus couldn't help but smile at his good fortune. He'd never
considered the possibility of Willow repressing the emotional pain she'd
suffered and thus losing her memory. The possibilities now before him
seemed endless. She was virtually a blank canvas on which he could paint
whatever picture of the current situation he wanted.
As Angelus contemplated his course of action, Willow stared at the vampire
with curious eyes. In her mind, she was seeing him for the first time, and
her appraising gaze quickly turned appreciative as she took in the dark
good looks of the man before her. Her breath caught in her throat as her
eyes lingered on the sculpted planes of his chest, clearly visible through
the window afforded by his unbuttoned top. Willow had a sudden urge to run
her hands up the wall of muscles, wondering if they were as hard and solid
as they looked.
Angelus noticed her noticing him and chuckled darkly. "You can touch me,
Willow, if you'd like. Everything I am belongs to you."
Willow considered his words. "What do you mean?"
Angelus smiled a sexy little grin at her. "What I mean is, you and I are
lovers. More than that, we're soulmates. Everything I have, everything I
am is yours, and vice versa. You're free to explore me any way you desire."
Willow wondered at this bit of information. Skepticism colored her
thoughts as her mind processed the idea that this beautiful man was her
lover. She had no memory of him, and the idea that she could forget what
should be the most important person in her life frightened her. If he was
her soulmate, how could she forget him so easily, so completely? Needing
more answers to fill in the holes in her mind, Willow questioned him, "Is
my name Willow?"
Angelus nodded. "Yes. Do you remember my name?"
Willow's forehead scrunched up as she ransacked her mind, trying hard to
come up with the right answer. Failing, Willow shook her head, afraid he
was going to be mad.
"That's okay. You have amnesia. It's not your fault you don't remember.
I'm sure everything will come back to you in time. But for now, I'm Angelus."
Willow's eyes lit up as a sense of familiarity swept through her at the
name. A single memory penetrated the dark fog of her mind, piercing the
veil between the present and the oblivion of her past. "Angel!" She burst
out, happy to have remembered something, even if it was only a name. When
she tried to dig deeper and connect any specific feelings or memories to
the name, she found her memories blocked.
Angelus's expression darkened at the name that escaped from her lips,
though he fought to keep the smile on his face so he wouldn't alarm her
with his reaction. "See, you haven't totally forgotten me. But I don't go
by that nickname anymore. It's an old one."
Willow smiled innocently, "Why not. It's such a pretty name. I like it."
Angelus gritted his teeth, fighting for control. "I just don't. That
name brings up bad memories."
Willow was immediately repentant. "I'm sorry, I'll call you Angelus
then." The smile faded from her lips as she suddenly grew shy. "So, um,
we're lovers?"
Angelus leaned down to kiss her again, a quick peck so he wouldn't
frighten her. "That's right. We've been together for a year. Your best
friend Buffy introduced us. It was love at first sight. We're even
engaged." He lifted her hand up so she could see. Shrugging at the bare
fingers, he explained. "You lost the ring the other night during your
accident. But don't worry- I'll get you another one. All that matters is
you're safe. I was afraid I had lost you for good." Angelus made his
expression one of deep affection and sick fear, trying hard to impersonate
the brooding looks of his souled half.
Willow melted under his show of concern. "I'm sorry I scared you." She
reached out to lay a reassuring hand on his arm. "I'm okay now. Nothing
really hurts except my head, and that's only when I try to remember things.
I don't even think I have any bruises." Willow glanced down at her body,
blushing as Angelus did the same. She hadn't realized she was dressed in
nothing but a loose T-shirt that fell only part way down her thighs. From
what he had told her about their relationship, she was sure he'd seen her
in a lot less, but since she didn't remember, it was a lot easier for her
to get embarrassed now.
Angelus seemed to take no notice in her discomfort over his gaze, which
was openly lustful. Lying beside her so he could wrap his arms around her,
Angelus whispered in her ear. "You can't imagine how much I've missed
holding you like this. I feared I'd never be able to hold you again, never
get to kiss you or hear your sweet voice again. The past few days have
been hell on me. I want to make up for lost time, but I'd understand if
you aren't ready." He added the last part as he felt her body tense as his
arms tightened their hold on her. The effect was immediate. She relaxed,
moving closer to his body. His arms were strong, making her feel safe and
protected. The look in his eyes made her feel beautiful and desired, as
well as incredibly loved.
Willow tucked her head into the crook of his shoulder. "It's not that I
don't want to." It was true, her body was responding to his, tingles of
warmth spreading through her veins. "It's just that things are so
confusing right now. There's so much I don't remember- so many blanks I
need you to fill in. I want to reclaim my old life, but I'm afraid of what
I don't remember. I'm sorry, but would you mind terribly if we waited
awhile. Just till I know more about what's happened to me?"
Angelus was the epitome of understanding, kissing Willow gently. He knew,
if played right, he could press the issue and get her to submit to his
every whim, but something held him back. The victory would be so much
sweeter if she was the one to come to him. "Of course I don't mind. I'd
do anything for you. I love you." Relieved, Willow allowed Angelus to cup
her head and kiss her again, this time more passionately. They stayed that
way for awhile, kissing and taking comfort in the closeness of their
bodies. Inside, Angelus crowed in triumph. He was well on his way to
having exactly what he wanted.
On to
Part Eighteen
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Part Sixteen
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