Whatever We Make of It
Author: Nastassia
E-mail: blue_flame@angelfire.com
Rating: R/NC-17
Summary: My answer to Rachel's challenge ~~~ Write a fic where Angel walks into
a room just as Spike looks up from going down on Buffy. The catch? Angel cannot
derive ANY pleasure from the situation. Nor can he join in. The fic must take
place after Angel has left Sunnydale, preferably after "I Will Remember You."
Dedicated To: To Rachel, for making such a cool challenge. Hope it meets your
expectations.
Spoilers: Pangs/I Will Remember You
Disclaimer: Spike, Buffy, and Angel belong to Joss.
My train of thought was cut off as an
intense orgasm, brought on by Spike's icy tongue lapping at my fevered sex
ripped through me.
I was only half aware of the door opening before I heard the whispered, "Buffy."
At the same moment, Spike and I whipped our heads towards the doorway where
Angel stood, looking like he was ready to rip Spike's cock off and shove it down
his throat.
I could only imagine what he wanted to do to me.
Suddenly, I was very aware of my own nudity. As if sensing my discomfort, Spike
grabbed the nearest article of clothing, his red shirt, and handed it to me. He
stood up, effectively blocking Angel's view of me, and proceeded to confront his
furious sire.
"Get out," Spike growled. "You weren't invited, and, in case you didn't notice,
you interrupted us."
Angel's reaction was swift. He backhanded the younger vampire, sending him
sprawling on the floor, blood leaking from his newly split lip.
"You son of a bitch!" I yelled, jumping to my feet.
"Buffy, stay back!" Spike ordered. In one fluid movement, he rose to his feet
and glared at Angel. "This is between us."
"You've forgotten your place, _boy_."
"She doesn't belong to you anymore," Spike shot back.
Spike's words, however he may have intended them, infuriated me. Grabbing my
pants from the floor, I shoved past the two angry vampires and
stormed out of the room.
Once outside the room, I quickly got dressed. I hardly noticed that my feet were
bare. i had much more pressing thoughts on my mind.
Namely - getting out of here before all hell broke loose.
*~*~*
Okay, I admit it. I was scared shitless when Angelus walked in. How else was I
supposed to bloody react? We were both naked, and I had my face buried between
her legs, licking her sweet honey as she came.... The only way it possibly could
have been worse would be if Angelus had walked in ten minutes ago. I don't even
want to imagine how he would have reacted if he'd seen Buffy's lips wrapped
around my cock....
His reaction wasn't too great anyway. My jaw hurts like a bitch where he split
my lip. And the look he's giving me....bullocks,
if looks could kill....
"Why her, Spike?" he growls, "You couldn't go pick up some cute little coed to
fuck? It had to be Buffy?"
What does he fucking expect me to say? Does he want me to lie? Yeah, I'll tell
him that I haven't spent the last few years wanting to rip off those little
skirts she wears and ram her until she screams. I'll tell him that we haven't
been lovers for the last two months. I'll tell him it's just sex, that it means
nothing.
Instead, I say, "I wanted Buffy."
He hits me again. I'm not surprised, and I manage to stay on my feet. The throb
in my jaw increases.
And like an idiot, I open my mouth again. "You gave up your claim on her when
you left! You told her to move on. Is it so horrible
that she moved on to me?"
This time I don't anticipate his attack. An elbow in my gut doubles me over, and
knee to my face sends me crashing to the floor, blood
pouring from my face.
"I could kill you," he states.
"Buffy would hunt you down," I answered. My words break off in a pained wheeze
as he drives his boot into my ribs, breaking several.
Why am I taking this? Why am I letting him beat like some fledgling? I know he
won't kill me.... I can take it.... Buffy can't.
Buffy....
Then Angel's foot connects with my skull, and I cease to feel anything at all.
*~*~*
I want to kill him.
I could do it very easily. I have three stakes with me, and Spike's in no
position to stop me. Instead, I simply continue to stare at his motionless body
bleeding on the floor. I wasn't as brutal as I could have been, but it'll be at
least two weeks before he's fully healed.
In my opinion, he got off easy.
My demon's urgings to punish Spike for his insolence was what prevented me from
destroying him. If my demon thought it was the right thing to do...then nothing
could be more wrong.
I also knew the look on my childe's face. He was in love with Buffy, though it
was doubtful that he had told her. Hell, it was doubtful that he had admitted it
to himself, but, to someone who knew his inner workings as well as I do, it was
as obvious as the rapidly forming
bruises on his jaw.
So now I'm left with the decision of what to do now. Spike endured the beating
without fighting back out of fear for Buffy's safety. He was trying to buy her
enough time to get away from me. Once he knows she's out of immediate danger,
he'll go after me, and that isn't something I want to deal with right now.
Chasing after Buffy also seems like a phenomenally bad idea. A confrontation
would only hurt her....and quite possibly me, if Buffy decides she doesn't like
her ex-lover attacking her current lover.
I told her to move on, but Spike wasn't exactly what I had in mind. This hurts
more than the torture I endured at Spike's hands only a few short weeks ago.
After spending that one perfect day with her,
I guess I thought....
My demon taunted me with those words. My fury had urged him to
the forefront, and now he was simmering right
below the surface.
Shaking off his influence, I made my choice.
*~*~*
It took me almost twenty minutes to gather enough courage and enough weapons to
go back to Spike's apartment. Cautiously, I eased open the door and crept
inside. The moment I saw Spike's body crumpled on the floor, I abandoned any
wariness for panic.
The small arsenal of stakes, crosses, and holy water I had been carrying
clattered unnoticed to the floor as I took in Spike's battered face. It was an
incredibly stupid thing to do, now that I think about it. Angel could have still
been there, and I wouldn't have noticed
until it was too late.
Luckily for all three of us, Angel was nowhere to be found. Instead, there was
an envelope addressed to 'Buffy' in Angel's careful script. With trembling
hands I opened the plain white envelope and drew out the single sheet of paper.
*~*
Dear Buffy,
I want to start by saying I'm sorry, and I mean it. I acted unfairly and
irrationally. I know I have no say in your life anymore, but seeing you with
Spike....something in me just snapped. I know I told you to move on, but I
thought it was clear that I wanted you to move on to someone with a soul.
Of all the people in the world, Buffy, why did it have to be Spike? No, don't
answer that. I honestly do not want to know how this happened. It's also none of
my business. It's a little late for me to be realizing that, but better late
than never.
I want you to be happy more than anything, Buffy, and, if Spike is who makes you
happy, I give you my blessing.
This is the last contact we will have unless our respective duties require more.
If that happens and, knowing the Hellmouth, it will, I can't promise that things
won't be awkward and uncomfortable between us. I can promise that I'll never
stop loving you.
Angel
*~*
Spike's moans as he returned to consciousness jerked me back to reality, and I
hastily folded the letter. I noticed the small bulge in the corner of the
envelope. Pulling back the flap, I forgot to breathe as the glinting silver
object slid into my palm.
Angel's claddagh ring.
"Baby, is everything okay?"
Closing my eyes against a sudden flood of tears, I pulled my lover into a hard
embrace. "Was it ever?" I whispered.
Spike's soft reply was muffled against my throat as he kissed and caressed me,
but I heard it anyway. "It's whatever we make it."
Spike's touch grew more amorous, but all I felt was cool metal biting into my
palm.
I have a sinking feeling that he's wrong.
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