How to Skip School
Ok, let me start off by simply stating that I was the master at getting out of going to that hellish place for 6-8 hours everyday. These are methods that should not be used by amateurs. You must work yourself up to be a true genius when it comes to the art of cutting school and class.

I. The art of cutting CLASS. -Find a good reason for why you are not in class, because if you get caught, this will be the only thing that can save you. Now, in my school, people would have music lessons during class periods. I just made it a point to have it at the same time every single Friday, so I could get out of Theology. The stupid teacher had no idea that I did not take lessons at school, but with a private teacher at her home. So I was free to go then. At first I had an acomplice, but then as she started to fail Pre-Calc towards the end of the year, she couldn't go with me anymore, and I had my own car anyway, so it was all good. Also, if you have a nurse, like at my school, who wasn't there every single day, take advantage of this. Saying that you were not feeling well, and went to lie down on a day that the nurse isn't there is pure cleverness at it's best. I would say use a method like, you were sick in the bathroom, but this method you don't want to use too much, because the teacher may become disgusted and think you have some serious intestinal problems, so steer clear of this excuse unless you absolutely have to use it. One of the best methods, is to establish a note writer friend in the beginning of the year, so that you can have this person write you notes all throughout the year. Keeping the same penmanship if you are frequently out of school, is very important, because no one will suspect a thing. Get your friend to write up stupid reasons for why you are out, but use a different one each time. Use good judgement in these. Obviously, having to go take your dog to the vet isn't going to work. While notes like "Emergency psychiatric evaluation needed" could work quite well, it might stir up some worried tortured souls who care for your well being *bullshit! they just want you in school!*, so keep it short... doctors appointment is nice and simple, and if you have braces, try out the orthodontist/dentist appointments. I never had braces, so I never got to have an orthodontist appointment, so it was always doctors. Also, if you actually are sick, why not do yourself a favor, and trace the notes your parents write for you, so you always have a copy you can retrace. Windows in homeroom always make for ample backings.

II. The art of cutting ASSEMBLIES. - Ok, you must make sure that you have a proper plan of action. If the assembly is in the morning, and you just do not want to sit through it, find a way to get mixed into the crowd, and somehow just "get stuck" in the bathroom. Bring a friend along so it does not get boring. After about 20 minutes of sitting in the bathroom, you might want to pick a stall to hide in, try and sneak out and get to a more comfortable place to stay throughout the rest of the assembly. Make sure you are doing the Mission Impossible theme the whole time, and play with your makeshift gun. Try and make friends with the cool teachers who don't care if you cut assemblies, so you can tell them all about your excursion. Oh and ignore the people who think you're such a slacker because you didn't sit through this years lecture on the dangers of drinking and driving. Now, if you're going to cut the assembly in the afternoon, and you want to escape the building, you must make sure you know where every single exit is. Below pictured is a very bad brief drawing of my school.

Now, make note, that assemblies would take place in the gymnasium. My accomplice and I would sometimes make an exit at the top of the school, before any time close to when the assembly would begin. We would make sure that no teachers were around and just walk out. Make sure if you do this, you park extra close to your exit that day. So if you need to make a quick getaway you can properly do so. Sometimes, there is no way for you to leave until the assembly is about to begin. This is when you use the foolproof bathroom method aforementioned and hide in there until the coast is clear. My accomplice and I would hide in the bathroom near the bottom exit, and would wait and make our escape. The junior parking lot is right by this exit, so one time, when we had no preplanned our whole escape the assembly dream, we had to run around the entire school to get to the parking lot. Next time, we made careful note to park in the junior parking lot, so that our escape would be much easier.

How to Skip the Entire School Day...