A rose blackened yet voluptuous
growing in beauty as those
who's nature is red--wither.
---KRAM
Now as an answer, would that then explain why people who try to be "normal" feel so stressed and confined? I know that when I go out into the real world, wearing what's expected of me, acting as I'm expected and trying to handle everything that goes on in ones regular life with cool control I get totally stressed. It's normal to want to fit in, to be a part of something big but at what cost? The cost of your health, your mind? I don't think so, after all if you don't fit into "Society" then find a little society, if that's your thing. Personally, I'm on a mission to force myself into society. That sounds too much like a rape. Perhaps refusing to step down and change would be better. I refuse to dress how I'm supposed to. I refuse to act like I'm supposed to. I refuse to bow down to the demigod society and it's leaders, namely us... again. I have never been "in" and I never will be, and I like it like that. I know stereotyping is bad, but I simply refuse to be one of those creatures that look as if they were made with a cookie cutter. You know who I'm talking about, those individuals that walk and talk and act the same.
That is frightening in my opinion. I prefer people that have opinions, confidence, maturity, individuality to them. I don't run around flamboyantly, in fact if you were to be walking down a busy street, I'd be that person wayyyy on your left, the one you can barely make out of your perifrial vision. I'm not noticeable, which I don't mind, in fact anonymity is great. Do I shy away into the background thought? Definitely not. I've had people tell me that it's simply because I'm on a computer and only words on a terminal that gives me courage, to which I LOL them to death. I'm the same in person as I am on here. Who I am is not changed by this instrument, it's simply that all you can see is what's whirling around in my mind, not how I dress, look or act. And that will not change. However I choose to communicate it.
I am an apex, touching everything but a part of nothing.
---KRAM
So what point have I made? None that I know of, but it's one of the many questions I ponder while I lay sleepless in bed, the night closing in around me and the sound of mechanical rain lulling me into my thoughts but not to rest.
(c)1997 Tears
(c) All contents
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