South Park Episode Guide

Episode 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
The Plot: Visitors probe Cartman and leave some sort of symbiotic implant up his ass that makes him fart fire. Kyle's baby brother Ike gets abducted, forcing the boys to ditch school and look for him. Meanwhile, the aliens are harassing local cows.

Comments: This episode started off with a bang, mentioning a dildo not even a full minute in. In fact 'mom, kitty's being a dildo,' is one of my favorite scenes ever from the show. We were introduced to all of the characters and their eccentricities and it was hilarious because we didn't know what to expect.

This was one of the best, despite the fact most pilot's are a little lackluster. I was hooked from the beginning. I can proudly say I have been a South Park fan since the first episode, while most of my friends and others joined the bandwagon a few months after it premiered. I've seen every episode the first time they've been aired.

Ratings: 4 stars out of a possible 4, not only because it's a good episode but because it's kinda been the judge for all South Park episodes. I never heard a the word dildo spoken on TV before and I don't think I ever would if this show didn't come out they way it did. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 103: Volcano (mistakenly aired before episode 102)
The Plot: The boys pack up and go on a hunting trip with Stan's uncle Jimbo and his war buddy Ned. The boys seem to be having a good time, especially Kenny, but Stan can't shoot anything. (he's a softie) Unbeknownst the the intrepid frontiersman, a volcano is about to erupt and destroy their town.

Comments: I've never had the rules of hunting so eloquently explained to me before Uncle Jimbo came along.... Talk about great supporting characters for the show.

The best part of this episode was the Volcano Safety video. If you've ever seen one of those 50's nuclear disaster prevention films you know why. Really think duck and cover's going to save anyone? The lava rolling right over the people was the tops.

Ratings: 4 stars out of a possible 4, one of the better episodes. This was when South Park was fresh and anything would have us rolling, not to say now we are jaded now or anything. Still, the beginning was the best and I hope the new season can keep it up.[back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 102: Weight Gain 4000
The Plot: Eric Cartman wins the National Environmental Essay Contest, but everybody thinks he's cheated. Nobody really cares that much, since Kathy Lee Gifford's coming to town to present him with the award on national TV. Cartman decides he needs to improve his image a bit for television, so he starts to bulk up (Beefcake, BEEEFCAAKE!). Chef is excited because he gets to sing for Kathy Lee, a sultry queen of sexual fantasy. The entire town seems to be rallying, but not Mr. Garrison and Mr. Hat. They seem to be holding a grudge

Comments: 'Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcaaaaake, Beefcaaaaaaaaaake!!!' This was the first SP episode to bash a celebrity nobody would ever consider seriously trashing before, kind of a new precedent.

Chef's sexual ode to Kathy Lee is my favorite of his songs due to the 'lick your heavenly body with my tongue' part. The Book Depository allusion kicked ass, as well as Barbrady's ineptitude.

Ratings: 2 stars out of a possible 4. Not one of the best, but it still had it's moments. I wish they coulda made Kathy Lee look and sound more like Kathy Lee, but the words law and suit got in the way there.[back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 104: Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
The Plot: It's football season in South Park and the whole gang is on the team. Also, it looks like Stan's an all-star quarterback. Jimbo and Ned believe that the team can cover the 80-odd point spread in the season opener against Middle Park, so everybody in town puts their money on the home team. The only problem is that Stan's dog, Sparky (voiced by George Clooney) is gay and Stan can't focus unless he corrects him.

Comments: 'I was with my new fried big gay Al. He showed me his big gay animal santuary and took me on a big gay boat ride, where I learned about the wonders of gayety.' As Stan would say about this at any other time, dude, this episode is pretty ****ed up right here! The more I look back the more funny it is. Big gay Al is one huge steriotypical trip of a laugh and sparky's escapades are also a rage. From toasted cheese sandwiches to a gaggle of gay geese, I can't help but love the quotes from this episode.

Ratings: I can't help but look fonder upon this episdode the more I think about it now, it's rating gets boosted up to a full 4 outta 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 105: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
The Plot: Stan's having problems with his older sister Shelly; she's beating him up. And the worst part of it is nobody wants to help him with his sissy problem. Also, it's science fair time in school. The kids choose genetics as the area of their project. The experiment: mix Kyle's elephant with Cartman's pig.

Comments: We were introducted to Alfonse Mephesto and his companion Kevin in this episode along with their four-ass fetish. However, at this point we had no idea what Kevin was, and it freaked us out. At least now we have his name.

'Pig and Elephant DNA just won't spliiice!!!' I'm still wondering how they can create these bizarre pop-culture reference outta nowhere. Anyway, I bet the former members of Loverboy are rolling on the floor laughing.

Ratings: 3 stars out of the possible 4. BTW, I loved how they worked Elton John into chef's song. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 106: Death
The Plot: Stan's Grampa wants somebody to kill him, so he tries to get little 'Billy' (Stan) to do it. Meanwhile, the kid's parents get into a war trying to take a show by the name of Terrance and Phillip off the air. Oh, yeah, Death, the Grim Reaper, makes a special guest appearance.

Comments: Toilet humor, gotta love it. This episode took on not one, but two critical issues and perverted them: euthanasia and vulgarity on Television.

I like when grampa tries to get Cartman to kill him: 'Hey porky, your mom was over here earlier and I humped her like a little bitch. Then I went and dug up the bones of your great-grandmother and had my way with her too. She was a great piece of tail your great-grandmother. Hey pudgy, did I ever tell ya about the time a booped your dad?'

I must say, this is my favorite for some pretty clear reasons. 1) satirically attacks two issues, one bullshit (no pun intended) and one serious. 2) points out obvious flaws in our society considering these issues. 3) immense irony. 4) silently makes fun of Beavis and Butthead while using it to make its point. 5) incorporates the outrageous perfectly. 6) knocks me over with laughter 7) i'm sure i could keep on going, but I wont. Ratings: The BEST Episode period. (period) 4 stars out of a possible 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 107: Pink Eye (Halloween)
The Plot: The Russian space station Mir falls on Kenny, sending him to the mortuary where he is mistakenly embalmed with Worchestershire sauce. An epidemic of pink eye that causes people to crave human brains breaks out shortly thereafter as the rest of the boys attempt to enjoy Halloween.

Comments: 'We won't get any candy if Kenny keeps on eating people! Now that's funny. Chef's Michael Jackson Thriller parody is great. I'm not telling any more because you should definitely see this one.

Great ep, loved it. Well done.

Ratings: 4 stars out of the possible 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 109: Starvin' Marvin (Thanksgiving)
The Plot: The kids want to get a Teiko sports watch, the only catch is they have to adopt one of those Ether-nopians on TV. Their adoption turns literal when the starvin tike winds up on Cartman's doorstep. The school starts collecting canned food for the poor in town for Thanksgiving, which means Kenny. Also, pissed off genetically engineered turkeys are on the rampage.

Comments: Chef as Braveheart is cool. Then you go to the other side and a turkey plays the role. Cartman in Ethiopia, now that's irony. Sally Struthers sure has put on some weight, too. 'of course I want da cheesy poofs...sweeeeeet' 'no starvin marvin, no starvin, that's a bad starvin marvin'

An episode full of ironies. Enjoyable. Of course, they all are. My favorite part by far, however, is when Chef goes off on that little guy that follows the mad splicer around. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? Well at least now we know what he is!

Ratings: 3 stars outta possible 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 110: Mr. Hankey (Christmas)
The Plot: All the kids are getting excited over X-mas while poor Jewish Kyle feels left out. Fortunately, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Pooh is there to help Kyle out. Unfortunately, nobody believes he exists. The adults are getting all bent out of shape over the holiday season and religious conflicts, so the Elementary School's Christmas pageant is re-written into a non-offensvie, non-denominational holiday celebration.

Comments: 'Howdy ho!' Chef belts out another great song is this one, along with Cartman's BITCH song, the funniest thing I've seen in years. (And it remains as such) Kyle's 'Jew on Christmas' is also good. Jesus's 'happy birthday to me' was the perfect way to work him in, although more could've been done. I guess less is more. 'I said Ike's on fire.'

Mr. Hankey has grown on me. At first I was repulsed, but since then I've given up my reservations and decided to go with whatever Trey and Matt throw at us. The episode's rating has been raised to reflect this.

Ratings: I actually gave a rat's ass when this one first came out, but looking back it truly was better than I said it was. Now a 3 out of the possible 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 108: Damien
The Plot: There's a new kid in school. The only problem is he's the son of Satan. With all his wicked hellfire magic in tow, Damien finds it hard to fit in. Meanwhile, everybody is getting invited to Cartman's birthday party except Pip and poor Damien. However, the party may be a bust when Damien's father comes to Challenge Jesus on the same day.

Comments: Cartman explaining to Pip where to find his invitation was the only thing that I almost laughed at in this episode. The 'omen' music that accompanies Damien says, 'Rectus' and 'Dominus' (among others I can't decipher), which means ASS MASTER in Latin. Pretty cool huh. I got that from the Did You Notice over at the Info Center.

I'll flat out say it, wasn't funny. I didn't fully laugh once and barely broke a full smile; most of the episode I wore a slight grin. This is tragic considering the plot, one of the best ones they've ever had. I hurts so must that they wasted the story idea.

Ratings: only 1 star out of 4. blah. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 111: Tom's Rhinoplasy
The Plot: Mr. Garrison takes off a few days to get a nose job. His surgery went so well he's become a chick magnet and quits his teaching job for good. This excites the boys because their new teacher, Ms. Ellen(good name choice), is a knockout. Unfortunately for the smitten boys she's a lesbian, even Chef fell short with her! Wendy's life goes down the tubes now that Stan no longer pays attention to her.

Comments: 'Cartman, what are you doing? ' 'My mom told me to be a lesbian I had to lick carpet.' This is the FUNNIEST SINGLE LINE I've ever heard on the show. It kept me laughing until the next commercial break.

Chef's songs have lost some of their flair, gone a bit flat. They need to think of new ways for him to perform. Wendy's memories with Stan were funny.

It was a better episode than Damien, which I am extremely glad for. Let's face it, Damien sucked. Still, this isn't one of the best episodes. They still kinda toned it down on this one. They got to get back to the blatent vulgarity that made the first episodes so great.

Ratings: This one gets 2 out of 4, there were several good parts but it generally was a mediocre episode. Perhaps I'm just expecting too much since I'm jaded from the rest. Who knows. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 112: Mecha-Streisand
The Plot: An extradinary find on an otherwise boring archaelogical field trop complicates the boys' life once again. They have found the Zinthar, one half of a talismen that grants immense power. The only problem is ego-maniac Barbara Streisand has the other part and wants the Zinthar so she can rule the world. Fortunately, there is an alliance of celebrities trying to foil Babs, the only problem is she is a step ahead of them.

Comments: "I'll Ro-sham-bo ya for it!!" I've learned since then that Ro-Sham-Bo is another name for Rock-Paper-Scissors, so sue me for not knowing that before. Anyway, the South Park version is surely going to get the show in trouble somewhere; I can see the little kiddies doing it soon.

The funniest part was Kenny's proposed additions to the snowman the kids built, despite it only being a small joke in the episode.

I believe this episode is closer to the original concept of South Park then most. The show was built on the basis set by SOXMAS(spirit of christmas, see my 101 section in the future) and perpetrated most effectively in Weight Gain 4000 and Damien. That basis, in case you don't realize, is the total thrashing of previous taboo areas such as religion's most sacred figures, cultural icons, and, yes, egos such as Kathy Lee Gifford's and, yes, Big annoying Babs herself.

Ratings: On principal alone this show is great, but an overall lack of guffaw value bring the rating down to 2 out of 4. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 113: Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut
The Plot: An upcoming Father and Son picnic troubles Cartman due to the fact he doesn't know who his father is. And it's even worse that his mother doesn't know either; it could be any man in South Park. While Cartman searches for the truth, the other boys submit a tape of him having a tea party to America's Stupidist Home Videos. In the end, Cartman's fate comes down to a result of a DNA test paid for by the runner-up winnings of the tape Stan, Kyle, and Kenny took of him.

Comments: YES, we've finally found out who that little guy is that follows around Mephesto. He's now '...my friend Kevin' This was an all around good episode, I can't really single out any particular scenes to quote.

The best episode of the newer four by far, but not the best. I like the suspense of having to wait to know who Cartman's dad is, but I don't like that they are going to tell us this easily. It should be a big mystery, but I still can't wait for the news.

Ratings: This one gets 3 stars out of 4 because of the cliffhanger and a plethora of good parts, although none really outstanding. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

201: Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus(April Fools!)
The Plot: Terrance and Phillip get caught up in yet another (I guess) devious plot by Scott to ruin them. This time Scott gets help from Saddam Hussien, who has somehow taken over Iran. In a bid to take over Canada, Saddam helps Scott get rid of Terrance and Phillip by threatening to endanger Terrance and Celion Dion's bastard daughter Sally studying anthropology in Iran. (What's funny about this is that she's only a little tike)

Comments: It wasn't exactly laugh out loud funny, of course at the time I was more concerned wondering how they could work South Park back into the mix. And they did that rather well with the television.... of course they had to talk when we would have heard the name of Cartman's dad...

As far as funny parts go, there where a few. I enjoyed Terrance's changing into a pirate costume for no reason as well as the whole bit about kroff dinner, what ever the hell that's aboot... Ugly Bob was pretty cool, as well as the whole dick bit. Also, how they did Saddam knocked me out, almost as good as when Mr. Garrison looked like David Hasselhoff.

Ratings: Well, this is going to have to get two ratings. The April Fools joke gets a 4 outta 4 because it was the best one I've ever been roped in by, and this one was with perhaps 20 million other people!!! The actual T&P special rates as only a 2, it was entertaining but not as funny as SP could have been. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

202: Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut Part Two
The Plot: Mephesto is just about to tell everbody who Cartman's dad is right up until the point somebody turns out the lights and shoots him. Chef and the gang race him to the hospital while the townsfolk air their story on America's Most Wanted. What makes things worse is a fierce blizzard that bears down on South Park and throws the entire town into jeopardy.

Comments: An episode carried out in perfect South Park fashion, something that is ever changing and being shaped. I must say that the ending was real surprising, even though in the back of my mind some form of the correct answer was being considered.

Again some obscure pop culture reference made an appearance in this episode with the Styx song "Sailing Away." How do they come up with this stuff? Also, Kenny had a rather groundbreaking episode, as you can see down in the Kenny Deaths section. One final thing, equal opportunity never seemed so wrong until I saw this episode.

One more thing I noticed, they changed the theme intro around a bit.

Ratings: This was an episode of growing, learning, sharing....whatever. It gets a 3 out of 4 because of they kept it fresh the whole way through. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

204: Ike's Wee Wee
The Plot: Ike's Bris is coming up and once Kyle finds out what a Bris is he tries to prevent it. Also, Mr. Mackee, the school's guidance counselor, gets into a bit of hot water when his anti-drug lecture sample of marijuana is stolen.

Comments: This episode answers some questions about Ike, most specifically why his head is the way it is. I shouted, "yes" out loud once I made the connection. It was pretty cool how people thought he was a trash can and all that.

Cartman was the funniest, especially with his fireman comments, "If you rub his helmet he'll spit at you!" I almost died. Also, when he complained about his ass still hurting after the strip search for the marijuana I lost it.

Cut it to make it look bigger, I guess that's the reason....

The Mackee plot wasn't overly funny, except when his head floated by. Oh, yeah, the A-Team and Sagat cameos were great.

Ratings: 2 out of 4, it seems they're hitting a second season stride of good episodes. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

203?: Chickenlover (in the presence of children)
The Plot: Some freako starts ****ing chickens and Officer Barbrady can't solve the case because he can't read the ransom notes. While Barbrady goes back to school, Cartman takes to the street as an emergency deputy.

Comments: Chicken ****er, gotta love it!!! When the news dude said it that kicked ass. Hey, if you don't like it, that's South Park, take it or leave it.

Cartman was, I gotta say it, da ****ing bomb with his uniform and bigwheel. If I encountered him I'd respect his authoritah.

I liked how Barbrady got into the back to elementary school thing a little too much. I was indifferent as far as the ending scene crap and liked the Cops stuff.

My favorite line involved Cartman, who has been the source of all the big laughs in the recent episodes; Randy Marsh said Cartman was Stan's friend that always blocked up the toilet when he was at their house. Where do they come up with this stuff?

Ratings: There is too much killer content in this episode for it to be rated anywhere below 3 out of 4 stars. The more I think the better it gets. [back to list] [kenny deaths] [kenny translations]

Episode 101:
Visitors shoot Kenny from their flying saucer and knock him onto the highway. He's okay, then the cows stampede over him and that almost kills him too. Finally, Officer Barbrady runs over him with the squad car.

Episode 103:
Almost gets smashed by a molten chunk of rock and then gets caught on fire by it. That doesn't kill him; Ned drops his gun and it misfires in his direction.

Episode 102:
One of Mr. Garrison's shots from the Book Depository hits him and send him flying to be impaled on a flagpole.

Episode 104:
While two members of the other football team hold his arms, the rest decapitate him. Worst yet, they don't get a penalty or a timeout to scrape him off the field.

Episode 105:
Kenny had a run-in with a microwave. Evil Stan knocked him into it and it turned on as the opened door shut on him.

Episode 106:
It turns out special guest star Death wasn't out for grampa after all......it was Kenny he was after.

Episode 107:
After Mir falls on him, Kenny gets a second chance as a zombie. Kyle has to kill him again with a chainsaw. He comes back a third time, but gets crushed by a falling statue and an airplane in the graveyard.

Episode 109:
When the humans fight the turkeys for supremacy, a group of the felonious fowl team up on Kenny and peck his eye out, killing the little poor bastard again.

Episode 110:
Kenny got an early Christmas present this year; he DIDN'T DIE in this episode. He could've been shocked when around water an overloaded wall socket or fallen into a shark tank, but Kyle wasn't around to say 'you bastard' for most of the episode, so blah. They could've found a place right at the end, but things must not happen sometimes, I guess...

Episode 108:
Jimbo and Ned think Kenny is a duckbill platepus after Damien transforms him. They gun him down after Kenny starts 'comin right for them'.

Episode 111:
When the Iraqi Feds come for Ms. Ellen, she grabs one of their sabres and throws it out of the guy's hand. Unfortunately, it hits Kenny and drives him backward to be impaled thru the face into the back classroom wall.

Episode 112:
In the midst of all the chaos with giant celebrity monsters destroying his town, Kenny decides to take it easy and play some tetherball. Too bad he's not that good at it. He hits the ball a little bit too hard and the rope comes around too fast; it wraps him to the pole around the neck and he suffocates. Oh my God, Kenny Killed Kenny! (they said they in the episode)

Episode 113:
Kenny had a hard time startin the kids' go-cart. When he did get it going, it took him by surprise and drug him around out of control. Kenny finally gets the cart to stop, albeit on the train tracks. He doesn't even know the train's coming. What makes matters worse is Grampa Marsh taped his death, submitted it to America's Stupidest Home Videos, and it WON! "Oh my God, they videotaped killing Kenny!" "You Bastards!!!"

Episode 202:
Good episode for Kenny. Not only did he reappear after being killed in the first part of the episode but said, "Oh my God, they killed Mephesto!" In addition, his death was for a good cause this time around. By making the cable connection for the hospital's emergency generator with his hands he was able to keep alive all of the patients on life support, including Mephesto. He also froze into a freezy-pop and got smashed with a shovel by his friends later on, adding to his contributions to humanity.

Episode 204:
Kenny falls down a dug grave and the towbstone falls on him, I guess that hood kinda makes it hard for him to look where he is going. Good thing for him the preacher and bagpipe guy were already on hand. Kyle was rather indifferent with his "you bastard."

Episode 203?:
He almost made it, but one of those killer South Park trees fell on him at the last possible moment of the episode. No oh my God, they were tired out from the times he almost got crushed by a car, catapulted into a wall, and got shot.

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Kenny must be everyone's favorite character. For one, he dies ALMOST every episode and for two, he says the dirtiest things, only you can't really here them outright; you have to guess from context. Well, I've recorded and listened to a few, and I'm going to listen to more when time permits so that I can translate most of them for you.

Be Warned.....Extremely Dirty and Graphic. If you are offended by such material please do NOT look below.

Additional Note: I won't spell out any of the dirtier words directly, so expect a few *'s here and there. I wouldn't print this stuff otherwise. Figure it out.

During the theme:
[I like girls with big v*g*na's, I like girls with big 'ol t*t*ies.]

The Magic: The Gathering Commercial:
And the end Kenny says, [It sounds f*cking gay.]
Note: This comes straight from the mouth of Trey Parker, who does the voice.

Episode 103:
[In Uncle Jimbo's jeep, right after they leave Cartman's house and his over-protective mom]

Stan: Maybe your mom can give me a kiss too, Cartman.

Kenny: [Maybe she can suck my d***.]

Uncle Jimbo: Oh, ho, that's disgusting.

Ned: Moh man it smells like dead fish here.

Kenny: [It smells like a v*g*na.]

Ned: Moh man, that is nasty.

Episode 102:
[In cafeteria, when Chef's talking about how he gets to sing to Kathy Lee Gifford]

Chef: Of course! Kathie Lee is a beautiful sultry queen of sexual fantasy. And if I sing to her, maybe I can lure her into a night of exotic delectation.

Stan: Yeh, that'd be cool.

Kenny: [Chef how big is it?]

Chef: Well, three times bigger than Frank Giffords anyway.

Stan: What? You've got to weigh 90 pounds.

Cartman: I'm up to 94, thank you very much.

Kenny: [And some big-ass t*t*ies to boot!]

Kyle: Yeh, they're almost as big as his mom's.

Episode 106:
[In class]

Mr. Garrison: Yes Kenny, what is it?

Kenny: [I have to go poop!]

Mr. Garrison: I thought you just came from the bathroom.

Kenny: [Yeah, yeah, I really have to go, though!!!]

Mr. Garrison: Ok, ok, go ahead.

[Kenny runs into the bathroom and lets the diaherrhea fly.]

Kenny: [Oh my God!]

[Kenny runs into the bathroom and lets the diherrhea fly again.]

Kenny: [Owww, ohhh!]

Episode 202:
[In the Genetic Engineering Ranch, right after Mephesto is shot]

Kenny: [Oh my God, they killed Mephesto!]

Kyle: You bastard!

Episode 203?:
not exact, but you get the general idea
[At the petting zoo, with Officer Barbrady and the Chicken***er]

[Barbrady's gun goes off in the stuggle with the Chicken****er and it strikes Kenny]

Stan: Oh my God, they Killed....

Kenny: [I'm alright, it's just a flesh wound!]

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