Living Large in your Car
Living in your car: it’s the ultimate in trash living, One step above being homeless. Right? Not really. Actually it’s the latest adaptation by harried commuter drones to the insanity of their post industrial world.
I have a modest commute to work, only ¾ hour each way or 1-1/2 hours per day. That’s 7.5 hours per week, 34 hours per month….well you get the idea. A lot of that time is spent sitting in front of traffic lights. That’s an awful lot of time to spend staring mindlessly out my windshield at the backs of other cars. The license plates and bumper stickers just aren’t that clever. So one day I took my lunchtime reading out of my knapsack and began reading. It was a great time-passer. I learned to read about 2 paragraphs at every big long intersection. I learned adaptations like holding the book at an angle so I could see out of the corner of my eye when the traffic light changed…just to avoid having those irate jerks behind me honking their horns at me.
I’ve read countless books this way, but there’s lots of other things you can do with all that free time while inching thru ‘rush hour’ traffic. You can brush your hair. Eat breakfast. Put on a nice relaxing feel-good tape, light some incense, hang some inspiring crystals from your mirror and create a total sanctuary of serenity. For some of us, who live with snotty kids and overbearing spouses, it’s some of the best solitude and thinking time we’ll have in the entire day.
When the retailers discover this, they’ll open a whole new line of products: car furniture for the discerning lifestyle commuter. A classy setup to hold your breakfast (face it, those cup holders just don’t cut it.) Coffee maker! Donut maker! Shelves to hold your books, CD’s, favorite ambience items that will relax you and put you in a positive frame of mind. Make use of that commuting time to improve yourself and your life.
What about those poor slobs who are forced to commute on a freeway instead of stop and go traffic? Eventually they’ll learn what they’re missing and lobby for some good long traffic lights to be put in. Or maybe they’ll decide that ‘expressways’ arent such a good idea after all.
As for those wet blankets who complain that it’s a traffic hazard for people to read in their cars, or go all ballistic when the car in front of them fails to floor it the minute the light turns green? They should relax and read a book. Work will still be "up" when they get there, and they’ll get there with fewer ulcers. Think of the benefits to society when everyone gets clued in to this lifestyle. No more road rage, fewer accidents, less stress. As for the so-called lost productivity because everyone is coming into work late? Chill out. The workers will feel better and work better when they get there. Bosses, do you want your customer service reps to arrive calm, relaxed and smiling, or would you rather have your customers served by road-raging maniacs ready to bite someone’s head off?
And when car manufacturers get hip, they’ll stop trying to tell us their cars are macho adventure-mobiles built to ravage untouched deserts and pristine mountains. They’ll sell us living rooms and retreats instead. Really, when you can do all of this in your car, why bother going home at all? The implications boggle the mind. There’s a whole change in society coming about. I’ll figure out some more of the implications at the 5 points intersection, on my way to work.