At first she did nothing,
but then, quick as a rat she whipped out 24 stubby pencils, glared
at sweet Brenda and with a witchy cackle she demanded the pencils to
be sharpened by noon. (She claimed that she herself didn't have
the time to do it, but as sure as you and I are here to read this
stori, the truth was simply that she didn't know how to use the
electric sharpeners. Remember, this is the same troll that asked
where she could buy a new remote control when the batteries died...)
On with the story. As soon as the monster left, brave Brenda sat
still for some minutes, still in shock of the nerve of this...cretin.
And then she suddenly knew what to do. She took the pencils, and went
over to
beau Sara's office, and after a moment off silence they....
THREW THE PENCILS ON THE FLOOR AND STOMPED MASSIVELY ON THEM!
After that, which took a good while, they got new pencils, sharpened
them, and sweet Brenda delivered them as told. She went to PencilBitch's
office and dropped them all in her chair. And that was the stori
of S:t Brenda and the Dragon.
You know how we always say 'ooooh people just don't understaaand me', etc? Well, I usualy moan and whine about something like that when it comes to my family. But you don't get it. They *really* don't understand me. Most recent example:
Yesterday, on may 10, my brother announced that he's pretty sure I am a lesbian. Like huh? This came right out'a the blue, so you'll understand if it took me a while to stop laughing and ask him why he thought so..he then elaborated. He claims that sure, he never takes any girls home so we can see them, but oooh, my brother's the king of this place and he has women crawling all over him. I don't doubt that. In fact, it would surprise me if they weren't. He spends most of his paycheck on new expensive clothes, and going out. He looks ok (according to others, I..um...won't say anything), and has a real way with people. The reason he thinks I am lesbian though is that...*drum roll* I never take guys home for them to meet. Gee. I wonder why? He was also kind enough to let me know that he 'outed' me to my mom some months ago. Erm. Okeee...heh. So I, uh, guess that makes me a lesbian. I wonder what that makes any guy I might've slept with?
Wah. I feel so Ellenish all of a sudden..
I love children, and usualy they think I'm pretty cool. It's not that. I HATE the parents that makes me hold the infants when I don't want to. I'm not too used to being around really small babies, and I really don't understand why me therefore being a bit hesitant of holding a baby should be such a crime. They _ask_ me: Wanna hold the baby? and I politly say no..and THAT's when they get this "I know you want tooooo..everyone's got'a love the baby!" grin..and get up, and shove the poor thing in my arms. I then sit there scared shitless, holding a baby. What IS that?
Is it against the law to think of the best for the child? Why should _I_ hold a baby I'm afraid of dropping on the floor or harming by holding it wrong, when the parent, or someone else that are dying to's right next to me? it's plain evil, I tell you. *sigh*. STOP it. it's not fun. It's just really frightening.
All of a sudden I'm...Seinfeld on a bad day?
© 1996, 1997 deanna@kajen.com