No.


Created april 29 1997

Dentists - Yes, I know. We all hate them. That's not my point though. I just want you to stop and think for a minute.WHY would anyone want to become a dentist in the first place? I mean seriously. I asked my former dentist that, and she said that it wasn't something she'd planned to, she just couldn't think of anything to do so she chose to go to dentist school meanwhile trying to figure out something. Like..HUH?
Dentist. This is a person who spends what, 40 years poking around peoples mouths, drilling and doing plumbing and..stuff...whilst having to listen to LIES all day through.."Yes, I floss everyday, I love flossing!And brush my teeth three times a day and oooh I Love fruit, natures own candy! I must just have very sensitive teeth or something since my mouths' a general disaster area.." I mean, really. We let people that have chosen to become road workers for our mouths operate heavy drilling machinery in..our mouths. There's just something scary about that. *shrug*


CD booklets WITHOUT LYRICS - That pisses me off SOOO MUCH! I mean, here I am, spending lots and lots of money on a cd, and they won't even gimme the lyrics so I can howl along on my own! Artistic integrity my ass.._pathetic_ is what it is. Like it or not, artists are selling people a product, and for something that expensive, you'd think they could scribble down some lyrics on a damn paper instead of 'artistic images'. I Love PJ Harvey, Liz Phair and R.E.M but I still think it's pissy not to include their lyrics... having to find them and print them from online is just...blah. I mean, what? They're scared people'll read the lyrics and think they suck, or are they just protecting themselves so that when they're doing songs live people won't be able to tell when they sing the wrong lyrics? What? TELL MEEEEE...help me unnerstaaaand..*grin* If you have _any_ explination for this, PLEASE please tell me.


Brendas'PencilBitch - Ok. Listen to this and tell me if you wouldn't've done exactly what Brenda did:
One day Sweet Brenda was minding her own business at work as usual, hum-de-dumming and just innocently sitting there as she always does. SUDDENLY this demon appears, this female dinosaur, huffing and stomping and what'd you know, she stears directly towards our sweet Brenda. Brenda knows better than to be scared by such monsters, so she calmly sat there and waited till the demon by the name of Barbara(or as she likes to be called, Dr. Church) reached her.

At first she did nothing, but then, quick as a rat she whipped out 24 stubby pencils, glared at sweet Brenda and with a witchy cackle she demanded the pencils to be sharpened by noon. (She claimed that she herself didn't have the time to do it, but as sure as you and I are here to read this stori, the truth was simply that she didn't know how to use the electric sharpeners. Remember, this is the same troll that asked where she could buy a new remote control when the batteries died...)
On with the story. As soon as the monster left, brave Brenda sat still for some minutes, still in shock of the nerve of this...cretin. And then she suddenly knew what to do. She took the pencils, and went over to beau Sara's office, and after a moment off silence they.... THREW THE PENCILS ON THE FLOOR AND STOMPED MASSIVELY ON THEM! After that, which took a good while, they got new pencils, sharpened them, and sweet Brenda delivered them as told. She went to PencilBitch's office and dropped them all in her chair. And that was the stori of S:t Brenda and the Dragon.


Family.

You know how we always say 'ooooh people just don't understaaand me', etc? Well, I usualy moan and whine about something like that when it comes to my family. But you don't get it. They *really* don't understand me. Most recent example:

Yesterday, on may 10, my brother announced that he's pretty sure I am a lesbian. Like huh? This came right out'a the blue, so you'll understand if it took me a while to stop laughing and ask him why he thought so..he then elaborated. He claims that sure, he never takes any girls home so we can see them, but oooh, my brother's the king of this place and he has women crawling all over him. I don't doubt that. In fact, it would surprise me if they weren't. He spends most of his paycheck on new expensive clothes, and going out. He looks ok (according to others, I..um...won't say anything), and has a real way with people. The reason he thinks I am lesbian though is that...*drum roll* I never take guys home for them to meet. Gee. I wonder why? He was also kind enough to let me know that he 'outed' me to my mom some months ago. Erm. Okeee...heh. So I, uh, guess that makes me a lesbian. I wonder what that makes any guy I might've slept with?

Wah. I feel so Ellenish all of a sudden..


Parents of small Children.

I love children, and usualy they think I'm pretty cool. It's not that. I HATE the parents that makes me hold the infants when I don't want to. I'm not too used to being around really small babies, and I really don't understand why me therefore being a bit hesitant of holding a baby should be such a crime. They _ask_ me: Wanna hold the baby? and I politly say no..and THAT's when they get this "I know you want tooooo..everyone's got'a love the baby!" grin..and get up, and shove the poor thing in my arms. I then sit there scared shitless, holding a baby. What IS that?
Is it against the law to think of the best for the child? Why should _I_ hold a baby I'm afraid of dropping on the floor or harming by holding it wrong, when the parent, or someone else that are dying to's right next to me? it's plain evil, I tell you. *sigh*. STOP it. it's not fun. It's just really frightening.

All of a sudden I'm...Seinfeld on a bad day?


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© 1996, 1997 deanna@kajen.com