Spice Girls played live for the first time in their careers Saturday, 12 May, meeting with stunned onlookers and critics' jeers.
American television programme Saturday Night Live had hyped up the much-anticipated performance to the point of nausea the week prior to the Girls' appearance. The programme had been recovering from a slump and what better help than one of the world's biggest pop groops, in their very first live gig?
The performance certainly helped the rest of SNL, though not in the way producers probably assumed. Spice Girls were, simply put, awful, making everything else look ace by comparison.
The Girls' first number was their defining tune (and only U.S. hit), "Wannabe". Even before the Girls started singing, it was very noticable that the catchy dance song had been slowed down several notches, presumably to allow the Girls to both sing and dance at the same time without seriously messing up.
A bit like Eliza Doolittle forgetting manners, Melanie Brown (the token black Spice) was rapping in her natural British accent instead of the faux American that showed up on the "Wannabe" single. She seemed incredibly bored with the proceedings, and it leaked into her vocals.
Geri Halliwell, the ginger one, was the second to open her mouth in the song. Her shouty rap that had marked the single had become a nasal whine, which was also off-tempo with the rest of the song. Her dancing consisted mainly of hopping up and down and winking at the camera.
Blonde Emma Bunton's voice was unintelligible and barely above a whisper, although she did manage to keep on key. She mumbled and stumbled around the stage, confusion with her dance steps becoming more and more evident as the song went on.
Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm has the best voice on record, but in this performance she seemed to be content with mere off-key screechings. She predictably did a backflip, which seemed to throw off her singing through the rest of the number immensely.
Perhaps most alarming during "Wannabe", however, was Victoria Aadams, the 'classy' Spice Girl. Victoria didn't open her mouth once, keeping silent throughout the choruses. Instead, she focused on repeating the exact same dance move -- swivling hips slightly whilst waving a hand in front of her face -- over and over for the three minute duration of the song.
As the song drew to its slightly extended close, the five girls huddled together and posed, with smiles missing on three out of five faces. The audience sat in silence for a moment before breaking into spare and seemingly confused clapping.
Poor Spice Girls didn't fare much better on their next attempt, "Say You'll Be There". Geri's voice managed to get even worse during the break time, making her solo in the song unlistenable.
Melanies C & B thankfully improved on singing during this performance, and Mel C refrained from doing backflips. Both seemed closer to their record performance than they had been during "Wannabe".
Emma seemed even more confused during this performance, which is unfortunate as she had a lengthy solo in this number. To compensate for stammering and mumbling, she chose to make faces at the camera.
Victoria decided it was high time to prove to everyone why she never seems to sing on any of the Spice songs. She was given a solo during this song, and was also allowed to sing a bit normally sung by Mel B. She was so badly off-key, however, that she made Geri look good.
You couldn't help but pity her though, because it was obvious by the look on her face that she knew she wasn't doing very well at all. Victoria looked on the verge of tears throughout the performance.
SNL has a tradition that, at the end of every show, the cast, guest host and musical guest all stand together, thank the world for watching and then hug and tell each other how great they are. This episode was no different.
Or mostly no different. Guest host Rob Lowe still hugged and laughed with cast members and 'special guests' Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci.
They all stood as far away from Spice Girls as they could without looking rude though, perhaps the most marked commentary on their 'Girl Power' to date.
