These pages are not intended in anyway to glorify abuse of any kind, whether it be verbal or physical. Abuse has many faces, none of which are very pretty. All these poems have been written to be shared in the hopes of helping others along the way. All are written in the first person, however all are not about my private struggles, some sadly are. If you are abused, get help. If you abuse others, get help. Whatever the case, whatever the cost, know that your wings may be broken, but can and will heal in time. You are somebody worth loving. Abide in love..
A special thanks to my sweetheart for his remarkable patience, understanding and valour....thank you honey...*s*
Lovingly,
Lacie
Compendium of Page Contents
Broken Wings
Eternal Mirrors
Silent Lamb
The Void
The House of Pain
Walls Of Glass
Whispers Of An Angel
I'm Only A Child
Lies
Pain Tramplers
Forever And A Day
like a little sparrow that can no longer fly
wandering in circles from weighted tears that cry
going nowhere for something broke it's wing
with no freedom at all, a bird cannot sing.
yet it still is a spirit that should merit respect
someone's helping hand reaching out to protect
this little victim, a creature made with love
has been made by a master craftsman from above.
even with a few wounds, it is perfect in cause
it should not be disguarded because of a few flaws
it still has a heart that is purer than the golds
tenderness and kindness of soul, surely it holds.
this precious treasure just cannot find it's way
and needs love and gentleness from you today
as the plan of the galaxy is in fact to reveal
our call to regenerate and given time we will heal.
if you're a wounded sparrow from something that abused
let the hands of truth show you in the mirror, how you are used
beginning to think anew is the natural order of sweet things
your heart and spirit will fly, as you heal broken wings.
everyday in mourn, i feel the abuse
from your mouth of hatred, for i am no use
i am nothing you say and my ears hear the pain
as they pierce my soul deeply and the scars still remain.
you wish me to die and say i am no good
and like a dog, i take the stick of beaten wood
i cower down and crawl off to a corner to hide
in a disgraceful place of sorrow, i have learned to reside.
but i do nothing to harm another one's heart
even that you strip away from me, as you rip me apart
and i grow confused for i know not what i've done
it feeds your glory, another battle you've won.
yet when i arise the very next break of dawn
i already know in your eyes, i've done wrong
maybe just that i breathe is the sin i commit
but you choose to smother me slowly, and never quit.
everyday feels like an eternity that i must endure
a verbal bashing of forevers to make you feel secure
now i have a melancholy spirit which i clearly see
in the mirrors of my heart, i will break to get free.
the lamb grazed in silence so meditative
in times of deep sorrow she was so creative
beaten by the hands of the forceful psychotic
she feared that she also would grow into neurotic...
bruises and words had wounded her to a deep grief
as she prayed the day would come to grant her a relief
quietly she lurked in deep shadows of melancholy
sudden death seemed her only release from this ugly folly...
yet in her moments of solace a miracle came to her
that even a lamb of silence can speak of harms endure
and stand upon the feet of faith and take the side of right
no longer would the evil shepherd harm her to such fright...
she vowed an oath and swore to herself she would be true
and licked her wounds with love and spoke of her renew
carrying a strength found made her see through brand new eyes
that abuse was not what she deserved and her dignity did arise...
the silent lamb grew into a lady of eloquence and grace
and encouraged others to stare at injustices ugly face
though memories would linger through the lifetime of this lamb
her silence had been broken as she reached with loving hand...
Wake up little lamb, you have something to say!
empty, so empty this void that my heart does cry
for the manner in which he shares his love
is not enough to fill me yet i don't know why
though he coos me with gentleness of a peaceful dove...
but i cannot be comforted, my restless soul does feel
the something that is missing that causes my despair
under his domination i become timid and so weak
he holds me securely after i'm damaged beyond repair...
tears fall from emerald eyes like rainfalls from the skies
yet i dare not whisper to unveil the darkside of true
buried in pandora's box are hidden lockets of lies
the secrets of bruised shades of ugly black and blue...
but the harder i try to run away from his wicked charm
the tighter he holds me to his constricting leash of love-pains
slapping wounds he inflicts upon what he choses to harm
which fill him with fire passions where his harsh rule remains...
loneliness lingered in the caverns of my moonlights song
yet i caught a glimpse of the awakening of the tenders of joy
for true love is not something that feels painful and wrong
but rather fills the void of the spirit before it will ever destroy...............
in the house of pain
with white pickets fences
that seem to have no gate
whereby i may escape....
in the house of pain
with bunnies and bears
tokens stuffed with love
from days since forgotten....
in the house of pain
rumbles the echoing silence
of promises and forevers
that never came to pass....
in the house of pain
where i lay me down to sleep
knowing the dreams i seek
have been dashed to pieces....
in the house of pain
the windows are barred
to keep me from escaping
from the jail that surrounds me....
in the house of pain
the walls drip with sorrow
from the cries in the night
of a bleeding hearts scream....
in the house of pain
lie the ruins of icons
of living ghosts of the past
haunting all that remains....
in the house of pain
where the demons run freely
i feel trapped in the webs
spun from spiders of the macabre....
in the house of pain
i'm a zombie of melancholy
surrounded by gloom and destain
abused by the treacherous,i remain....
in the house of pain.
as i built the walls of glass
around the city of my heart
that were way to fragile, i know
and could easily be broken apart.
day after day i wish i had constructed
a castle of brick and stone
so the demons of life could not invade
an strip this rose petals to the bone.
in foolish haste with hands of worry
i thought i could just hide hurt away
and store it in a secret box to be sealed
never to be seen in the light of day.
it was unwise of this i am certain
not to see with the vision to reach
and search out a hand to help me overcome
the violations of pain someone thought to teach.
though not my fate to deliver me unto evil
but to free me with honour and class
never thinking ahead that loves abusing hand
would shatter my hearts only protection of glass.
yet someone saw my weak point and chipped away
til the glass became stained with my blood
and from all of this i see the total free person of me
will have ghosts linger from being dragged through the mud.
the walls of glass i built around my heart
shattered by words of hatred, crumbling my castle apart.
the whisper of a sweet angel
that no one seems to hear
as she hides within her closet
stricken with grief and fear.
the battering of shameful pain
from the beatings of disgrace
caused her to whimper off away
floods of tears rolling down her face.
the beautiful soft skin of ivory
now with places of black and blue
as she prays for a forgiveness
from a sin she didn't do.
the entrapment of that torn angel
is she cannot get her wings and fly
she would have no place to stay
so she lives each day to die.
the violator who punishes her
an incessant hand of mortal abuse
leaving her with mournful wounds
and a heart and soul that has been confused.
the fear and darkness where she hides
in this precious soul so sincere
wants to scream for someone to help
but is afraid no one will hear.
the day will come when she will be
a conqueror or a victim extended
as she silently lives in quiet chaos of hope
that today she is not harmed or has not offended.
the whispers of an angel
that we all need to hear..................
I'm only a child, I guess you've forgotten.
The things that you say, can make me feel rotten.
I just want your time, but you're always so busy.
And you yell at me because I'm in a tizzy.
I'm only a child, and I need your attention,
But what I get is another invention.
Electronic games give me somewhere to look.
But when was the last time you read me a book?
I'm only a child, but I hear things you say,
About all the bad thoughts that you had today.
How Daddy is worthless and drinks too much beer,
My whole world is shaken, but you say not to fear.
I'm only a child, you say I get on your nerves,
Why can't you just see, I'm just what you deserve.
The way I behave, I have learned watching you,
The sad part about it, is you don't have a clue.
I'm only a child, and I know that I'm scared,
I'd like some affection, and be sure you cared.
I just want to color, and play on the slide,
But most of the time, I just have to hide.
I'm only a child, but my thinking is set,
As I grow up bigger, I know you'll regret,
Not taking the time to make me feel secure.
You robbed me of childhood, I hope I endure.
I'm only a child, I just want you to love me,
Don't boggle me down with your problems to see.
Help me to let loose the free spirit inside,
So I won't be like you, stripped of all pride.
I'm only a child.
scream at me in tones
that your mouth defies
as they hide behind the masque
in a beautiful face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
shout out in thunderous waves
what you fear to be exposed
by the windows of your soul
in a perfect face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
scream in a deadly silence
of the hidden anger clouds
disguising the unspoken bitterness
in a beautiful face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
shout in chaotic quietness
of the love we have forgotten
in the land of the unforgiven
in a perfect face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
scream of rage held captive
by webs of endless denial
spun by spiders of viciousness
in a beautiful face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
shout of hatred in a cage
like a panther held captive
to roam only in a minute space
in a perfect face of deceit.
the lies in your eyes:
scream out to be freed
from sorrow and painful reflections
in the mirror of the mind's agony
in a beautiful face of deceit.
But I see the lies in your eyes.............
The degenerated existance of mankind
where consideration and respect are misfits
and manners are obsolete dictates us.
The hunger for possessions
is the top priority of life
leaving behind desolation.
As we trample one another
continually clawing for the top
at the expense of our friends.
We inflict pain or sorrow
in the harshness of our deeds
and could care less.
As we strip one another
of what little dignity
there might be left.
Cruelty and critism are normal
as we tread harshly
smashing and bashing.
Making fun of others we feel
are children of a lesser god
declaring them psychotic.
We divide into cliques
never wanting to reach out
and expand our finite minds.
We are driven by the force
we succumbed to ourselves
as we lash out in hatred.
For our moment of glory
drives us to devour
anything that defies us.
Our rage has no boundaries
as we rape our prey
and think it purposeful.
We are pain tramplers
inflicting as we trample
one another to death.
forever and a day
is how long i have loved you
forever and a day
is how long i have been true
forever and a day
is how long i have cried
forever and a day
is how long you have lied.....
forever and a day
i have let you tear my heart
forever and a day
i have let me fall apart
forever and a day
i have let you steal my peace
forever and a day
i have choked upon your leash.....
forever and a day
has left me so alone
forever and a day
has cut me to the bone
forever and a day
has made me run and hide
forever and a day
has stripped me of my pride.....
forever and a day
became so hard in life
forever and a day
became nothing more then strife
forever and a day
became a nightmare to be me
forever and a day
became the time for me to flee.....
it wasn't the forever that made me go away
it was the realization of a single lonely day..........
© 1998 Lacie Through The Looking Glass. All rights reserved.
Many Faces In My Mirror, Castle Of the Seventh Day, Lacie's Poetry Garden,
The Natural Woman, Broken Wings and the Lacie butterfly
are trademarks of Lacie Through The Looking Glass.
Any questions? go here.
Many Faces In My Mirror, Castle Of the Seventh Day, Lacie's Poetry Garden,
The Natural Woman, Broken Wings and the Lacie butterfly
are trademarks of Lacie Through The Looking Glass.
Any questions? go here.