Hansel, Gretal, And The Old Woman With The Car
Once upon a time two teenagers and their Widowed father lived in Belice.They were happy. they had a maid to do the housework for them. The father's name was Joseph and the chidren's names were Hansel( H for short) and Gretal.
They were happily watching T.V. when, their father told them that he had met a woman. They glanced at each other nervously.They met the woman, who's name was Sara, the next day. Sara was a fat, loud, and annoying woman. She some how managed to impress Joseph, though.
After Sara and their father left on a date one night they began to discuss the future. "Gretal, do you think he's going to marry that fat cow ?"
"I don't know, H. Maybe he'll snap out of it before it's to late."
"I doubt it. I think the witch is here to stay."
That night their father confirmed their worst fear...He was going to marry Sara. The wedding was a simple affair, and the only excitement was when H got in trouble for mixing tacks with the rice. The newly weds went on a short honeymoon, giving H and Gretal time to worry about the changes in the future.
The first change to occur was that the kindly old maid was fired at Sara's insistence. The next change came after the couple came home, Sara moved in, bringing her hyperactive son Ben, and their paranoid and overgrown St. Bernard, Anchovy. H had to share a room with the small boy ( whom H was convince was a lesser demon). H also had to do what ever the boy wanted and had to be his taxi driver. Gretal didn't get off any easier. She had to do all the housework and cooking. The worst, in her opinion, was that she had to cook special meals for Anchovy, who had "A delicate stomach". Gretal grumbled as she cooked for the dog. "Delicate stomach, my foot! The stupid thing weighs more than I do!" this statement was punctuated by a swift kick to Anchovy's hindquarters. The dog was startled and made a lunged for H, because she thought it was him who had kicked her.
Sara watched this and decided she had to get rid of them. In bed that night, Sara told Joseph that she thought that the children were stealing from him. She insisted that they be gotten rid of. Joseph went along with her, because he didn't like making her upset.
The next morning they proposed taking a fishing trip, H and Gretal immediately became suspicious. They trip was long. and they had never been to the lake that their father brought them to. They began to relax until the boat began to tip over. The next thing they knew the icy water enveloped them. they finally surfaced far from where the boat had capsized. The only sounds they could here was the gunning of a car's engine and the rushing water. They climbed a shore, cold and wet, and went in search of a place to spend the night.
They had been wandering in the woods for hours ,when they finally saw a house. The house was very odd and seemed to be made of sweets. they opened the gate and went up to the house. It really was made of sweets! H was very hungry, so ripped off on of the shutters and began to eat it. " Gretal! this is shortbread! wand some?"
She wearily nodded as he tore down a second shutter and handed it to her.
"Hey! You kids stop eating my house!" Hansel and Gretal spun around and face the old woman who owned the house. The old woman was a sight. Her face looked like a rotting apple, as it wrinkled and puffy. Her hair was wild and white, and her hands were as gnarled as a corpse's . H was frightened by the crazy glint in her eyes. Gretal stood close to H obviously frightened. The old woman whipped a gun out from behind her back.
"You kids march. Go in the house."
The frighten kids numbly did as they were told. The old woman shove Hasel into a large cage and locked the door behind her. She Brought Gretal into the kitchen and instructed her in cooking fattening meals to feed to H. The old woman delighted it teasing Gretal. " In just a few weeks your brother will make me a filling meal, and then your next!"
Gretal did what the old woman wanted, slaving for her the whole day. She tried to warn H, but the old woman kept him from her. Late that night the old woman went to bed at last. Gretal crept from the spot on the floor where she slept. She softly called to Hasel to wake him. He sat up and looked around frightened. "Hasel, we got to get out of here! She's into the Jeffrey Daulmer thing, she wants to eat us. You first!"
"Gretal, I've got a plan..."
Gretal awoke a shrill voice demanding she get up. The old woman made Gretal do her laundry while she her self sat in the living room, ordering things from QVC . Gretal quickly did the wash and then looked for the keys to the cage. She realized with a disquieting certainty that the old woman must keep the keys with her. Undaunted Gretal went to the kitchen and got a large cast iron frying pan. Gretal snuck into the living room and stood behind the woman's chair. Gathering her courage, she delivered what she hope would be a stunning blow to the woman's head. The old woman slumped forward in her chair. She had been taking to the on air QVC operator, who was saying " Madam are all right?! Did you want one cow cozy or two?"
Gretal hung up the phone, and took the old Woman's pulse. She decided that since the old woman was still alive she should tie her up, so she did. Gretal looked in the old woman's pockets and soon found the keys
" H ! I found the keys. I will let you out now." They had to decide what to do with the woman. At first they toyed with the idea of killing her, but they came up with a better idea. They had realized that some of the keys were CAR keys.
They headed to the garage an opened the door. The car was a brand new, cherry red Corvette. They got into the car and Gretal drove it to the front door, and waited while H ran into the house.
Five minutes later H came out with the old woman thrown over his shoulder. He opened a car door and heaved her in. Gretal grumbled at him telling him to hurry. "Sorry, Gretal,but I have to seat belt the old bat first."
Soon they were on their way. Gretal, who had never driven a car until that day, was enjoying speeding down the road. Every thing was going fine until Gretal saw Sara, Ben, and Anchovy walk out in front of the car. Some thing in side of her snapped. She floored the gas and headed straight for them.
Gretal was shaken, and pulled over and made Hasel drive. H, secretly happy about Gretal's act, gladly took over the driving.In a few short minutes they had reach their intended destination - Cozy Acres Retirement home. They untied the old woman and carry her inside. Gretal began to cry and told them she could no longer handle her senile grandmother.The attendants believe her act with the help of the old woman's raving about people eating her house. H and Gretal bid the old woman good-bye and set of for home.
The next few months were eventful. Their father stood trial for two charges of attempted murder, and was give a twenty year sentence. The old woman ,too, went to prison for the hit and run deaths involving her car. H and Gretal moved into their old home and were kept busy with talk show appearances and movie deals.
-srw
story time main page
Get your own Free Home Page