Profile of a Typical College Student
As she bent double over the toilet she wished God would let her die right then and there instead of dragging it out like this. When she had stumbled to the bathroom a few minutes ago her roommate flippantly asked her if she had a hang-over. She almost wished she did, it wouldn't last nearly as long as this flu. Considering how many other people in the dorm were sick her roommate was bound to catch it too. The thought of it made her smile.
When she at last made it back to her room, snores from the other bed told her that her roommate was finally asleep. Walking by her own desk she accidentally glanced at the paper she was supposed to write. It was meaningless drivel about her life until that point. It was filled with the standard tales of childhood and adolescence, ending with roommate hell, making new friends and lack of sleep due to impossible deadlines.
She sighed and thought of what the paper ought to be, about herself. She sat on the bed and thought of what she was now, who she had been and who she wished to be.
Everything in the paper was a lie, every word. Though she posed as Heather Morgan, freshman art major, that was not who she was. She was actually the goddess Artemis. Most people who had heard of her knew her by the name the Romans had given her, Diana. She never did figure out why they changed everyone's names.
While a goddess she had been bored out of her mind. She had no challenges. All she seemed to do was listen to pagans pray to her and keep her sacred animals from the harm of hunters. She had heard too many young people bemoan how difficult it was to be growing up in a world like this. It seemed to be more interesting than her present "life". She thought it over for a couple of hundred years, then decided that she'd be human for a while. She figured that it wouldn't be too hard considering how many stuffy college professors considered the gods to be anthropomorphic anyway.
She asked her father, Zeus, if she could try to be human for a while. He'd been angry and had threatened to zap her with a lightening bolt, but her twin brother, Apollo, had intervened and calmed him down. Zeus agreed, but rather reluctantly. He was very strict with how things had to be done. She had to start off as a non-adult, and she couldn't take over the life of someone who already existed, even someone not yet born. She couldn't grow up to be someone influential in life, such as a world leader. Under no circumstances was she to use her powers in a way that could affect humans. And she could never tell a living soul(mortal) that she was a deity. She eagerly agreed to the conditions. Zeus sighed, rolled his eyes and wished her luck.
She found a nice couple, the Morgans, who couldn't have children, and decided that she'd give them the chance to be parents. They'd been thrilled when their infertility was suddenly cured. As she grew up she realized that being a person wasn't quite as easy as she expected it would be. people got hurt and sick and were even sad. She found that the kids were right; growing up was tough
As the Morgan's child she learned that love was unconditional ,but that humans were not perfect. Sometimes she was blamed for things she didn't do, but her parents loved her still even when they thought that she had done wrong. Even when little Billy Jones blamed her after he had flushed all his marbles down the toliet making the bathroom flood.
Through other children she learned more about human nature than she ever did all those centuries watching from Mt. Olympus. Her best friend, Kelly, was what people considered to be a free spirit. She wasn't about to do something just because other people did it. She taught Heather/ Artemis that it was okay to be your own person. Kelly fascinated her because she had thought of humans as being much like sheep; content to blindly follow the leaders. Kelly was the only one that she was tempted to reveal her true identity to. But she didn't because she feared Zeus' wrath.
As a child she found it was best to hide her knowledge of all things. She found that her young playmates despised a know-it-all. And her teachers thought that she was a cheater. Like many actual children she was easily able to hide her brilliance for the sake of not being an outcast. She did, however allow herself to get grades good enough to get into any college.
She chose the college that she was attending mainly because it was surrounded by woodland. Even if she was a person now she couldn't quite give up her roll as goddess of the the wild things. She need to be near them. It was in fact, wild life that got her noticed at college. She was drawn towards the college's program that rehabilitated animals. Even though she wasn't supposed to use her powers she found herself cheating a little. While holding a small fragile creature in her hand she'd be overwhelmed with pity for it and use her powers to soothe it and fix what ever was wrong with it. When a few too many small fuzzy creatures seemed to be restored at her touch she had an excessive amount of questions asked and simply replied she must have a way with animals.
She was also very into environmental conservation. She couldn't figure out why humans shunned their habitat. They spent much of their time avoiding nature, by living in houses and paving where they walked and cutting down the trees for the the area the occupied. She saw them avoiding nature even when they weren't aware of it. like umbrellas, they used them not to get wet. Animals were much more adapt for life on this planet, she thought.
Religion was another issue that she had be careful about. Her roommate was a churchgoer and invited her to go too. She had had fun at the service, but had accidentally deeply offended someone there. He had been musing aloud what God might be like. She had met the Christian deity once and so remarked that he was a nice person but much stricter that many of the other gods. He huffily told her that there _were no other gods and had left. She made a mental note to herself remember that Christians didn't believe in the gods of other faiths.(the Morgans were atheists and this had amused her to no end.) One of the things she had especially liked about the Greeks was they believed that gods other than their own existed. She decided that it was much safer to avoid church, especially the Catholic church, if she want to avoid heresy charges. She'd seen the inquisition and it hadn't appealed to her in the least.
An extra loud snore from her roommate broke her concentration, so she decided to wander around the dorm for a while. As she went by the others' rooms she heard phones ringing, laughter and people swearing about the noise. She could also smell incense, but now instead of honoring gods it was burned in a vain attempt to disguise the scent of pot. When a man clad only in a towel ran out into the hallway she began to think on one of the most vexing challenges she faced as a human. As a goddess it was not too difficult to be a virgin. Her sister, Athena, and her aunt Hesita were also among the innumerable virgin goddesses. Human virgins, however were a scarce breed. She found it odd, considering that even as deadly a disease as AIDS could not make people change. Kelly and her roommate had told her that sex was well worth the risk, but she remained unconvinced. It was not to her liking to have a man paw at her and try to convince her to give up her virtue. In such a case she fondly remembered having turned a hunter into a stag and setting his own dogs on him after he had seen her bathing. As a human, doing such a thing was not possible and she had to content herself with mace and a working knowledge of martial arts. Being surrounded by human men made her ponder her future. She wondered if she should grow up to be an old maid, or if she would marry and have her own children. She was a bit fuzzy as to weather the second line of thinking violated her duties as a goddess. She figured that because she was technically a human she could do what ever they did without invoking Zeus' wrath, but she thought she'd better ask him before acting.
She went back into her room and switched on her computer and her desk light. She began typing out a paper that no one would believe, and she'd call it fiction. Her roommate began to swear and threaten her because of the noise. Heather smiled and thought that her roommmate's anger was nothing compared to what Zeus's would be.
-srw
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