I was walking through the woods one day and this little dwarf-like guy with a three-foot long nose, a peg-leg with branches and flower blossoms growing out of it, and a big tooth growing out of the middle of his forehead (or maybe it was a corn, as in unicorn, or corn like corn flakes or cream of wheat) approached me.  He was wearing a shirt that said "Rush for President in ‘96," and he had a glass eye which wasn't actually an eye at all but a swirly marble. This little dwarfish person was leading by leash what appeared to be the Devil's version of a shaved Pomeranian.
 Well, the little dwarf-like guy walked right up to me with a big smile and I smiled back.  Then he kicked me in the scrotum.  Hard.  Needless to say, I crumpled to the ground.  Then the shaved Pomeranian from hell piddled on my head.
     It was an hallucinogenic piddle.
     As they walked off, conversing amongst themselves I slipped into a delirium.  The trees swirled in purple hues and the blades of grass swayed and caressed my face.  I could hear the grass whispering, and I swear it was talking about me...I tried to get up but the grass held me firm.  It wrapped around me and pulled me into the ground.  I struggled, but to no avail.  I soon blacked out.  When I came to I was in an underground cave surrounded by muppet-like characters.  They were poking me with sharp crystal spears and giggling maniacally.
    ‘Damned Fraggles," I thought.
     They giggled maniacally for a bit longer and I damned them some more.  Damned their ostrich feather hair and their ping pong ball eyes.
     "Grrrr," I growled.
     They laughed.
     "What do you want from me," I asked?
     "Pocket lint," they cried in unison.
     I had to think quick.
     "I left it in my other pants," I bluffed.
     "Nice try human," once cried, "we can smell it on you!"
     Damn.  I hadn't counted on that.
     "Lie to us again," said one (who appeared to be the leader.   I was just guessing, of course, but the pin he wore on his chest said "LEADER," so I assumed...), "and we'll take your toe jam as well!"
     These guys played hard ball, alright.
     "I thought Fraggles were supposed to be nice," I said.  At that, they all sucked in their breaths in unison and began coughing and spitting violently.
     ‘I hit a nerve,' I thought.
     Do not EVER mention that name in these caves again," cried the leader.
     "So then you're NOT -----" They all instinctively plugged their ears and chanted Lalalalalalalalala.  One of the smaller ones passed out.  I had to smile on the inside.
     "INFIDEL!" cried the leader, and he poked me right on my big toe with his spear.  That smarted.
     "Give us your pocket lint and we will let you return to the Upperworld.  Deny us and you will suffer at the hands of the Wubba Wubba Blubberfuss!"
     "Fraggles!" I screamed, "Fraggles Fraggles Fraggles Fraggles Fraggles!"
     At this they dropped to their knees, some fell over unconscious, the others tried to crawl away as I laughed with insane zeal.  Tears were streaming from my eyes and I could not stop.  Suddenly I snapped with intense fury.  I clenched my fists and broke the ties that bound me, Windsor knots and all.  Free at last, I reached for the nearest anti-Fraggle and ripped off its head.  The air was alive with stuffing material.  I gave a mighty ‘Yolp' and started in on the remaining creatures.  They screamed with fear  and pain as I rendered them limb from limb.  And I laughed.  Hee Hee Hee.
     Soon my grizzly work was done and not a single anti-Fraggle remained intact, I was ankle deep in stuffing and ping pong balls and feathers and...blood.  Yes, blood.  You see, there was much more to these creatures than I expected, although to say that I had expected anything at all is to admit that I merely assumed.  I had assumed that they were merely animated puppets, but as I looked more closely at the mess that surrounded me I realized that the ‘stuffing' wasn't stuffing at all but whitish flesh.  Those weren't ping pong balls either.  They had been living, breathing creatures and in my rage, in my mindless violent rage I had seen what I wanted to see.  My mind had given me to believe that it was harmless fun with stuffed animals instead of the carnage that lay before me.
     Did I feel shame?  Guilt?  Disgust?
      Nah, they wanted my pocket lint and toe jam.  They got what they deserved.  With that I clawed my way to the "Upperground."  I had a little dwarf-like guy with a three foot nose and a Pomeranian from hell to tear into.  ‘But first,' I thought, ‘I think I've got some grass to piss on.'