Ever catch a flying pickle?  They're everywhere, don't you know?  Most people can't see them because their minds are closed to such abstract perceptions. Can you see the flying pickles?
 There is a story behind them.  Have you ever heard of Professor Dunkin Bonniker?  Probably not.  He wasn't famous for anything.  Except the Pickles.  Anybody who knows about the flying pickles knows of, nay, worships Professor Dunkin Bonniker.  His name is legend.  He is the harbinger of a new cultural mecca, a movement unparalleled by any religion, any mental concept heretofore introduced to any cognizant being.
 Professor Bonniker stumbled across the flying pickles while developing a new hallucinogenic chemical to trip on.  It was on this "trip" that he first caught sight of several blurry forms floating above his head.  He at first believed it to be an effect of chemical.  In a daze, he reached up and touched one.  With that initial contact the blurry forms became clear and the pickles were revealed.
 It seems that the pickles have been here on this plane since before man.  They hold in them all the wisdom of the ages.  The secrets of the universe can be sowed from their seeds and read in the pimples of their horny flesh.
 The only way to be introduced to pickleism now is to find someone who is a pickleist to show you the way.  A pickle is plucked from the air by a pickleist (for pickles are generally slow and sluggish unless aggravated) and fed to the unseeing.  After the initial shock which is generally followed by a profusion of vomiting and excretion, ones eyes are symbolically opened to abstractions, as well as ones mind.  It is a revelation which is simultaneously orgasmic and frightening.
 Pickleism is spreading more and more with each passing month and the sign of the pickle can be seen nationwide.  Pickle rallies are a common occurance in parks and beaches, in town halls and office lounges everywhere.  Have you seen a pickle today?