The white snail stuck to my windshield and slowly slid down the glass.  Its mother-of-pearl trail glistened and shined and turned to gold.  That white snail looked in on me from the other side of the glass.  He looked puzzled.
     "Oy!" he cried, "What are you doing in there?"
     I didn't answer him.  It seemed such an odd thing to talk to a white snail.  And not an averaged-sized snail, either.  It was at least a foot long and a foot tall.  This was a very large snail.  I ignored it and tried to concentrate on the road.  It was difficult to see around the white snail for it was right in front of me.
     "You don't quite look the same no more, now do ye?" the snail continued.
     "Excuse me, but do I know you?" I asked confused.
     "Oh now is that how it is?  You've forgotten your best mate, have ye?  Well that's gratitude for ye..."
     "I don't understand!" I exclaimed.
     "Well I don't doubt it considerin' the form ye've taken.  Why don't ya change back to your old self and we'll carouse at the snail bar, eh?"
     At this point I decided it would be best to pull my car off to the side of the road so as not to get into an accident.  I got out of the car and sat on the hood.
     "I can change?" I asked.
     "I don't see why not,: the white snail said, "look at you now.  If ye can become this clumsy form I don't see why ye cannot become a majestic and exciting, attractive, sexy snail."
     "But I've always been like this," I said.
     "Nah, ye haven't, ye bloody insect.  Ye just think ye have.  But if ye like being like this, I'll just leave ye to it then..."
     "No no no no!  Wait!  We were friends, you said."
     "Aye we are, or were.  Ye've changed, mate.  Ye ain't what ye used to be.  I'd best be shovin' off."
     "But why don't I remember you?  And how do you know it's me?"
     "Ye see what I mean?  Ye should just know.  It's obvious ye've forgotten yer mates.  I spotted ye from a kilometer's distance.  Ye've changed in more ways than one."
     "Wait, how do I do it?  How do I change?"
     "Well now we're gettin' somewhere.  I'll tell ye what we'll do, if ye ken.  Switch bodies with me and I'll change ye.  Then we can switch back."
     "How?"
     "Just say yes."
     I nodded.
     "Done," he said, and then I was the snail and he was the man and everything was so different.  I can't really say I liked it.  I wanted to change back.  I didn't like being a snail.
     "Don't much like it, do ye?" he asked.
     I couldn't answer.  I don't have vocal chords.  He had been talking with his mind.
     He picked me up and put me on the side of the road.
     "Sucker," he said, and them he climbed into my car and drove off.  And there I was, just a white snail on the side of the road.
     Anybody want to be a snail?