Oh by the Great Gul himself he has such exquisite skin . . . I wish I could own it, make him mine, make him bend to my desire . . . I would show him pleasures he has never dreamed of experiencing ...

[groan]

...but now I let him lead instead . . . he has initiated this after a glass of raktegino and some innocent prattle. There was no mistaking his smile in the replimat, I knew it would lead to this . . . I knew there was something more in the way he looks at me, drinks up every word I say . . . such innocence . . .

[moan]

. . . well, not quite so innocent, as I'm finding out -- oh his hands, his delicately slender hands -- those of a doctor's of course. I wonder how he would like it if I bound them . . . enlace them with the purest of leather and be free to adulate his body without worry . . .

[oh yes . . .]

. . . worry? Why would I worry? Who would worry with one so exquisite roaming his golden hands on you . . .

[Julian . . .]

Ah! I've evidently pleased him. I should utter his name more often. If only I could hear my own whispered by those ravishingly tender lips . . . alas I haven't told him. Damn my foolishness. But I suppose I'd look qui--

[ooh]

--te foolish telling him now. Oh by the way Julian, could you call me Elim? And then he'd stop, a frown arching over lustrous wide eyes, and then I'd have to explai--

[ooohhh yes right there]

--n and then we would never finish. But I don't want it to finish. Why would I want it to finish? Aren't I enjoying myself here? I--

[right there Julian . . .]

Absurd . . . this is what this is. I feel so damn absurd. What would my colleagues say if they saw me like this? For Great Gul's sake, I'm -under- him! I should not be--Oh, but I don't care . . . he's giving me sensations . . .

[Please Julian! Stop teasing!!]

. . .I haven't felt in a long while . . . He's -- sweet Triple Pillar of the State, he's saying my name! He knows it! My Gul he's--

[Oh yeeeeessssss!!!!]

ohmygulohmygulohmygul . . . Julian my young friend I've underestimated you.

[pant]

Derokanar . . . his eyes reminds me of Derokanar. So smooth and so enticingly beautiful in color . . . I wonder if the replicators would know how to recreate such a precious flower. I certainly can't walk back to Cardassia and take one . . . so rare . . . such beautiful skin . . .

[My sweet Julian . . . fuck me]

What?? What did I say? NO! I did not ask THAT! no please, why why why oh why did I let myself be embroiled in this . . . Why was I so easily lured by this mesmirizing creature?

[oh yes, Julian go on . . . you can't hurt me]

NO! He's--

[ahh yess]

--doing it! I'm on all fours and he's entering me! I should not be on all fours with him entering me! It's wrong -- I should be doing that. He should be under me, I should be taking possession of his body. I should not be--

[sweet gul yes Julian harder please harder]

Why am I even taking pleasure in this? Why why why? Have I stayed away from Cardassia that long? Am I--

[grunt]

--so desperate for love that I would degrade myself to this?

[Julian please harder you can't hurt me]

Why aren't I more appalled at this than I am? Why am I taking pleasure from this shocking act? Why should something--

[Oh yes oh yes, that's perfect. Julian my love harder!]

--that's so scandalous on my world be so beautiful here? I would be laughed at, whipped even for giving myself to a Human . . .

[Yeeeeeeeess Julian]

But I'm here, I'm one with him -- this beautiful young man -- I'm one with him and I don't care! Cardassia is far away, no one would know--

[OH YES!!!]

I DON'T CARE!!

[Julian . . . ]

I don't care. He's mine. His body may not be mine for the physical taking, but his spirit is mine. He shall be so forever, even when we part. And my body shall be his . . .

[I love you . . .]

Oh quick, close your eyes . . . I wish I could take back the words . . . I hope he hasn't heard me. What could a beautiful young man have anything to do with a foolish old exile? He's fallen asleep . . . Dear what beauty . . . peaceful, so peaceful.

[Goodnight beloved Julian . . .]

And may you sleep with the security that you will never be unloved.

The End