The Jezebelle Word of the Week

"If anything, the title poem Elena Georgiou's mercy mercy me is a modern-day anagoge, wherein the narrator, through a chance encounter with Marvin Gaye's ghost, is suffused with the spirit and soul of Motown's finest. She is thus reborn as a sensuous earth angel, a totem of divine song." -- Michelin CowCowToni, The New York Times

kon-KA-tuh-nate verb

Using literature, glamour, intellect, and techno music, the Jezebelles have created a concatenation of national events that will link alternative book lovers together with dance fever junkies and well-dressed divas everywhere.

kar-ee-AT-id noun, plural caryatids or caryatides (-i-deez)

In the sweeping deserts of Arizona, the Jezebelles came upon the most remarkable site: a giant structure reminiscent of an ancient temple; though instead of winged caryatids, the women supporting the edifice were cast in lifelike plaster and draped with sparkling togas. "Home," said Jezebelle C upon spotting the bizarre structure. "We've finally found home."

LAY-mee-uh noun

The first few days on the road, Jezebelles C and L thought something was strange about Jezebelle E. In Boston she broke free of them after midnight and said she was going out for a drink. By Toronto she was escaping the same time every night and coming back with red wine stains all over her Glam Lit performance clothes and a sweet satisfied smile on her face. "Should we be worried?" Jezebelle C asked. "No," said Jezebelle L. "She only started drinking red wine a few months ago. It's like she's going through adolescence." The other gals settled into their own routine, playing poker with the locals, sipping beer and sharing chocolate cigars. Things were fine until Chicago when Jezebelle E came back from her midnight run with a small, bloody severed arm hanging from her mouth. "Egads!" screamed Jezebelle L. "She's a vampire!" said Jezebelle C. Jezebelle E smiled. "No girlies, not a vampire. Vampires are so 1980's, so Anne Rice. In true Jezebelle fashion, I am queen of the vampires, a lamia descended straight from Count Dracula himself." The other gals looked at each other, shocked for a moment, then relieved. "This is a goldmine," said Jezebelle L. "Imagine the press we'll get," Jezebelle C agreed. "Quick! To the Jez phone."

BIB-lee-uh-taf (also bibliotaphe) noun

Reports have surfaced that a group of rabid Jezebelle bibliotaphs has formed in the hills of Montana. An elf wearing body glitter and functionally accessorized with a large tool belt was spotted just north of Missoula carting a wheelbarrow full of copies of Kamikaze Lust. Another elf in a leopard print hat stood guard over a tool shed with the words mercy mercy me scrawled on the door. Meanwhile, one local woodsman spotted a group of very short bearded ladies line dancing with copies of New York Girl in their arms. It was unclear at press time where the elves discovered their precious cache, but rest assured no bookstores on the Glam Lit route, nor publishers of the famed authors, have reported any books missing.

soi-di·sant (swä´dê-zäN¹) adjective

"My mind was a tabula rasa before I met the Jezebelles," said Jeannie K., 22, a resident of South Africa. "They're like totally soi-disant. I can't get enough of them."

BERK verb

City councilors accused the police chief of burking evidence in the robbery investigation to help protect the mayor's daughter from prosecution. or ... That chick was burking so big-time at the Jezebelle2000 reading, the mayor's daughter bum rushed the stage and begged to lick her vinyl undies. Did you know? When poet Cheryl Burke at age three first felt her mother's vinyl boots, she was rumored to say. "Smoove and shiny. Me want pants." Mrs. B, astounded by her daughter's verbal skills, not to mention her fashion sense, began visiting malls throughout the land to ensure that stores carried all sorts of glittery garments and installed a makeup counter. From coast to coast, the movement grew, Mrs. B's shopping mall appearances drawing crowds by the thousands who shouted "Burke her! Burke her!" as she set her daughter down on the makeup counter for a free modeling session. As a result, the word "Burke" became a byword, first for adorning someone in shiny clothes and sparkly makeup, and eventually for donning such materials oneself.

ey·as (ì¹es) noun

Jezebelle recruits are like eyasses who will soon be ready to leave the Glam Lit nest and take their first solo flights on stage.

ran·ti·pole

Sample Haiku Rantipole women Seeking wisdom of Eros Dress in leopard skin Women of Eros seeking rantipole groupies strip from leapord skin

the·nar (thê¹när´) noun

According to latest reports, three jezebelle2000 ashrams have been started in the cities of New York, San Francisco and Portland. Reporters on the scene have sent back accounts of groups of young acolytes (approximately 10 or more) sitting on velvet rugs and silk cushions massaging every bit of flesh they can find, sucking on everything from toes to thenars.

cop·ro·la·li·a (kòp´re-lâ¹lê-e) noun

Toronto Police Threaten Jezebelle Tour, by Scoop-neck Dowdy July 3, 2000, Toronto -- Police here have threatened to arrest the three Jezebelles at their reading tonight if they persist in using obscenities in their performance. Leaks of the Jezebelle's lurid reading filtered into headquarters after a show in Montreal made news for an off-beat responsive reading section in which the Jezebelles made the audience repeat different words for the female genitalia. "We haven't had this kind of trouble in our city since that harlot Madonna came through with her Blond Ambition tour," said police commissioner Sloan Fatlip. "We will have our boys out in full force and should the Jezebelles persist in their scandalous coprolalia, we'll be there with the handcuffs." But over at the Jezebelle caravan, the official morass of threats and scare tactics was not stopping the gals. "Let them try and lock us up," said Jezebelle C. "We’ll just do the show in our cell -- long live the new flesh!"

a·ni·mad·ver·sion (a-nuh-mad-VER-zhuhn) noun

The Jezebelles -- future literary queens of the open road -- have been in serious training for the fast-approaching tour. Jez L is training the troops to stand on their head while munching on kale; Jez C has the Jezzies up at 4am for morning jogs around the East Village; and Jez E has been lecturing on the art of delivering animadversions on the New York Times Book Review.

cor·i·a·ceous adjective

What to wear to fetish night in the middle of the summer when your leather pants are just too stifling? Having tested practically every coriaceous substance on the planet, the Jezebelles suggest a combination of light vinyl and lace.

klad-uh-JEN-i-sis noun

No strangers to the mudslinging tactics of contemporary journalists -- their petty jealousies and logrolling agendas all too apparent -- the Jezebelles refute recent claims that Glam Lit™ is nothing but a lame cladogenesis of the tired, old spoken word scene. Have these people read the manifesto? Glam Lit™ is diverse in its roots, owing as much to VH-1 divas as to its literary forerunners. Wake up and sniff your glitter sticks!

MUMP·suh·muhs noun

Just in from Glam Lit HQ: The Jezebelles will not recognize the use of the alternative (and most unsavory) misspelling of the term Glam Lit. According to the lit-loving gals: "Our movement will not be compromised by a few deviants who persist in purveying such pornographic mumpsimus."

Whit·ed Se·pul·cher (WHITE-uhd-SEH-puhl-kuhr) noun

The Jezebelles were accosted by a gang of whited sepulchers at the literary reading last Sunday. The menacing group of high-brows taunted the Jezebelles for their shiny dresses and platform boots. While listening to their very staid reading, the Jezebelles realized that much of their prose was pirated from the works of Keats and Yeats. Glam Lit to the rescue!

pri·a·pism (prì¹e-pîz´em) noun

Organ Trouble on the West Coast, by Ted V. Agra Hospitals in cities from Seattle to California have reported treating a record number of priapisms this summer. The condition in which men are subjected to involuntary, persistent, and often painful erections has affected victims ranging in age, race, sexual orientation, and blood type. Some are heavy smokers. Some are vegetarians. Some even like their mothers. In fact, the only thing any of the men have in common is they claim to have attended a reading by three chicks, three authors, who are calling themselves the Jezebelles. "I was fine before I attended that reading," said Timmy O'Derie, an investment banker who claims he never even like poetry. "Those chicks were so sexy and they did it all with words. It gave me a boner. The next day I had another one and then another one until I couldn't remember a time when my penis wasn't burning. I don't know what those witches did to me. Those succubi. And I heard they were a bunch of dykes, too!" It is not clear whether the Jezebelles are lesbians or not. "Hmmm," said the one who calls herself Jezebelle E. "What day was it that he heard us read? If it was Friday then I was a lesbian. But Saturday I was relating heterosexually. Who knows?" Specialists in sexual dysfunction at Johns Hopkins University in Maryland, although puzzled by the recent priapism epidemic, have traced its roots to what they call Cultural Erective Syndrome. "People often react involuntarily to cultural stimuli," said Dr. Dirk Dipstick, head of the CES project. "Unfortunately, the physical response in men can sometimes manifest in unwanted erections. It happened a couple of years ago with the Spice Girls, but from what we've seen recently they were a bunch of youthquakers compared to these Jezebelles." A CES advisory has been distributed to bookstores and clubs where upcoming Jezebelle events are scheduled. Men are warned to attend these venues with caution, while women have been encouraged to check their dildos at the door.

pen·e·tra·li·a (pèn´î-trâ¹lê-e) plural noun

Beyond the slick, graffiti-laden exterior lay the penetralia of the Glam Lit tour bus, the traveling makeup counters and microphones, the glitter powder and racks of vinyl clothing, the corn chips and chocolate truffles, in short all the staples necessary for a girl’s life on the road.

hag·i·og·ra·phy (hàg´ê-òg¹re-fê) noun

A report in this week’s Entertainment Weekly For Women branding the Jezebelles the "It" girls of the new millennium -- however true it may be -- is nothing but post-modern hagiography.