Name of Boyfriend/Fiance/Husband:
X____________________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the
following period:
Date:_______________ Time of departure: __________ Time of return: __________
NOT to exceed: ____________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated
below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other
women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the
allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal
waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go
out, my girlfriend/fiance/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following
week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total
___________ ___________ ____________
Locations to be visited:
___________________________________________
Females with whom conversation is permitted:
________________________________________________
IMPORTANT - STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise
to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer.
Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the
relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and
I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules and regulations. I understand that
this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates and flowers. You reserve the right to
obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on
an unlimited shopping spree, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way
home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions
with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in
the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in
your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER
half), the above information is correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiance/Husband:
X____________________________________
Request is: APPROVED DENIED
__________ __________
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all
times.
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Permission for my boyfriend/fiance/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:
Signed - Girlfriend/Fiance/Wife:
X______________________________
For women:
APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS
Name of Girlfriend/Fiance/Partner/Wife:
X___________________________________
I'm going out.
Signed: (me)________________________