Remember: women are like telephones. We love to be held and talked to ........ BUT, if you push the wrong buttons, you are disconnected!
Money isn't everything...but it sure keeps the kids in touch!
Men aren't pigs....pigs are gentle, cute creatures!
If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons
I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT
Support mental health or I'll kill you
P.M.S ?!! Hell, this is one of my better days!!
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight
Never fight ugly people they have nothing to loose
My wife says if I go fishing one more time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her
Support your local undertaker - DROP DEAD!
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's face on the back of a milk carton
Is there life before coffee?
Hire Teenagers while they still know everything!
BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN; THEY CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME
Backoff! I'm a postal worker!
Do Not Tailgate. Or I Will Flick a Booger on Your windshield!
I'm not in heat SO GET OFF MY TAIL!
This car protected by a pissed off mother with a .45 auto
I have PMS and a gun.....excuse me, did you have something to say?
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. . . Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
Evacuate the road!!! STUDENT driving!!
Honey, not tonight. I have a modem
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way
Keep honking while I reload
Don't drink water, fish breed in it
Just because you're paranoid it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. - Snore and you sleep alone
Love is blind. And when you get married you get your eyesight back
When I am right nobody remembers... When I am wrong nobody forgets!
He who has the most toys when he dies, WINS!!
Why be Normal?
<---Passing side Suicide---->
So many men, so few who can afford me.
God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.
If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
Coffee, chocolate, men. . . some things are just better rich.
Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
Guys have feelings, too. But like...who cares?
Next mood swings: 6 minutes.
And your point is...?
WARNING: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
Do not start with me. You will not win.
You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.