Take my Haiku, Please!

Excrutiating examples of a traditional Japanese art form.

What is a haiku?
A haiku is a three line poem comprised of 17 syllables. The first line has five syllables, the second line has seven, and the third line five. There should be some reference to nature in the poem, and it should evoke some crystalline imagery as well. It should also be good. This isn't hard to do, really, but you'll never know that by reading these examples.

Trousers which chuckle
As boogers fall from each nose
Like leaves of autumn.

--John I. Carney

See what I mean? (Sigh. )

Well, let's move on.......

Haiku to a PVC Pipe

Plastic plumber's pipe.
The music springs so freely;
My ears are bleeding.

--Trish Simpson

Arguably, I might have picked better examples of the art (?), but what the hey...
Here are a few more.

HAIKU TO A BOOGER (2/19/97)

Mucilaginous
Morsel of effluvia--
Leave my finger! yuck!
HAIKU TO A SQUIRREL (3/6/97)

Bushy-tailed rodent

You think you will rule the world

Ow! don't bite! don't bite!

--both by K. W. Thompson (Ms. Nomer)

POOP MOOSE HAIKU (For an explanation, see the Poop Moose home page. This is not a link. Do a web search)

Alaskan Poop Moose
Unique Candy Dispenser
Now I'm not Hungry.
--Sheena

How bout a nice Haiku with the word booger in it? (ED. note: the word 'nice' is not MY choice here)

"Haiku!" God bless you.
A Kleenex for your boogers.
Yes! Boogers, boogers!
--guillermo letona

Dave Barry is here,
Fills my cup with laughter
As squirrels nibble nose
(I think I got the syllable count right.) Actually, no you didn't exactly. See the limerick below.
--Michael G. Thompson

Burkina Faso

Flattish, brown, and very dull

Upper Volta wept

-Jen, no one's laureate

HAIKU BY COMMITTEE (each line written by a different person)

A swan in winter. (by Mike)
A tree swaying in the wind. (by D-Dave)
My soul is @ peace. (by QoCCs)

REDNECK HAIKU (YEE-HAW)

Summer in Georgia.
Drunk rednecks shootin' weapons.
The smell of moonshine.

GEEK HAIKU

CRT at night.
Illegal operation.
Abort/Retry/Fail.
--both by PICOCs (Trish Simpson) (feeling zenish)

A gratuitous limerick (see haiku above):

There once was a haiku from Mike,
whose syllables Trish didn't like,
Instead of five, six.
Mike's in quite a fix.
His haiku machine's gone on strike!
--Michael G. Thompson

Michael Steele wrote: "...distracted by the lyrics to "Watching Sunny Grow" running through my head..."

Hey, Michael Steele!
It's "Watching SCOTTY Grow,"
Not the Guy you called Sunny.
--Christin Keck

JOHN'S IMPROMPTU CONTRIBUTION

Acronym maker
Meanings spring from initials
Jeff sounds creative

John's Initial Cite
Jest-Ing Careful, Just In Case
Jeffrey Is Caustic
--J.I.C. (John I. Carney)

TRISH STRIKES AGAIN

A cat's whiskers twitch

As a bird softly alights.

WOH! Ex-bird; fed cat.

--Trish Simpson

Commentary from our friend Meercat:

It's quite a collection, I'll admit. I will point out that for a week or so, my friends and I (who started the whole Peep-Off phenonmenon, I'd like to point out) were on a huge haiku kick. We wrote vast amounts of very bad haiku. It's such an easy form to grasp and mutilate. Jack wrote a lovely introduction to the whole idea, which I here reproduce for your general edification:

The dogmatic style

five-seven-five syllables

gives me a stiffy

Well. There you go. Sure, it's got nary a mention of nature or the seasons, but what the hell. We had fun. =)

--Jen (meercat@Glue.umd.edu (jennifer susan raffensperger)

THE "I KNOW JUST HOW YOU FEEL" HAIKU

Reading a haiku
A unique experience
Makes me lose my lunch
--David Streeter (Auntie Spam)

DEADLY MUSIC HAIKU

Music played badly.
Gentlemen, start your Chopin!
The orchestra screams.

I HAVE A HAIKU AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!

Really BAD haiku!

It's offensive to the brain.

Get me outta here!!!

--Two more stellar examples by Trish Simpson

BIG ANNOYING PURPLE DINOSAUR HAIKU

"Barney" annoys me.
Got a shotgun you can spare?
BANG! Oops! Must have slipped.
--Michael G. Thompson (ed note: THANK YOU. May I buy you some more bullets?)

A COUPLE O'PAEANS

Football. Men running.

Smush his face into the grass.

Then do it again.

--David Streeter.

Robert Stevenson

The Supreme Super Snapper

Get 'way from my mouth!

--David Streeter

David is really catching the spirit of this page. If we don't get together and stop him, we'll regret it later.

THE BOOGER HAIKUS (written to commemorate the newsgroup curmudgeonishness)

I.        Get off this newsgroup!                    II.        Eat my shorts, you troll!
            Content innapropriate!                                  I don't have to listen here.
            You're not amusing.                                     You are a booger!

(AUTHOR UNKNOWN--ha ha ha)

THE PURPLE COW HAIKU

Reproduction!!!!

Purple Cow of porcelain

No one can escape!!!!

George (POWMAN99)

TRIBUTE TO A WEB SITE AUTHORESS

The psycho lady

Christin Keck, Whistleblower

Ties brains in square knots.

AND

The truth is revealed
Christin Keck, Whistleblower
Concentric circles.
Both by Planckster

THE SECOND TO THE LAST HAIKU ON THIS PAGE

Her hair is so soft
As soft as a...a...a...a...
A very soft thing
Rick "Similies Are Us" Haan

THE CRITIQUE OF THE HAIKU ABOVE

One of the best of
The whole bunch of confusing
poetry thingies
Cindy Houck

THE 'TRISH MOVES TO TEXAS' HAIKU

Big Texas insect
claims it's a palmetto bug.
It's still a cockroach.

Trish Simpson

Okay, you get the idea, I'm sure. Unfortunately, this is all I have. Ooops, did I say unfortunately? I meant 'whew!' thank goodness that's over! (Of course, you might see more of this here, if any more gets written. You might also get chained to a chair and have to watch "Barney" until you bleed from the eyeballs. It's up to you.) GO HOME (yes!)

Go to another page of bad poetry