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Reviews For August 2- August 8

1. **** "The End Is The Beginning" by Greg Blackburn
   Was this a commencement speech? Remarkable wisdom for one so young. Don't stop writing! Roderick Young

2. **** "Child Of Substance" by Susan Hubenthal
   Touched my heart. I hope she reaches a lot of people in similar situations. This kind of experience was not part of my background, so it wasn't easy to directly relate. Roderick Young

3. **** "The Adventures Of Bruno The Drill Sergeant"by Nathan Black
   I like this character! I'd encourage the author to expand him more. This could be the next Pee Wee Herman or Austin Powers. Roderick Young

4. ***** Daydreams By Loyal Wray
   I love it; it's precisely what I begin to think when I daydream about winning a million bucks. The only problem is, my daydreams aren't nearly as amusing! PJ

5. ***** Remembrance By Geraldine Cook Davis
   Loved this prose poem, which medium I don't often see. Great topic, well written. Beautiful in a sad way. Lynne

6. ***** "Marching Men" By Bill Truax
   This fabulous poem beat us down the well-worn path of the fighting men. It seems to have been written by one who has been down that path. Lynne

7. ***** Fallen Leaves by Bill Truax
   I thought this was a vivid portrayal in words of both the season of autumn and the autumn years of life. Very worthwhile reading, with a great positive thought at the end. Lynne

8. *** Take Two By Ashley Presutto
   Ashley, I think you did a beautiful job with the first two stanzas. However, you started to lose me on the third. I was completely confused by the fourth. I am not an expert on poetry by any wild stretch of the imagination so take anything I have to say with a grain of salt. My suggestion would be to rework the last two stanzas - the first two (I think) are perfect. However, if you are satisfied with them (and that's what counts), leave them just the way they are. C.R. Sweeney

9. ***** A Simple Man By Loyal Wray
   This piece deserves a 5 as the style of writing is simplistic, as is the main character, the simplicity of tone weaves the story quite well. Content, organization, style, characterization all there.
   Loyal--so happy to see this piece and that you're published; Congratulations. "A Simple Man" is excellent! Geraldine

10. *** "The Sun" By Kristen Nutter
    Not sure that I got the meaning of this, but it an interesting concept here. I'm just wondering "why" night is portrayed the way it is. However, images are excellent. I'll go back to this piece. I give it a 3. g. Davis

11. ***** "Black" By Jared Simmons
    I'm a plain old WASP and I come across this plight over and over with Black men that I meet. I guess I am quite naive, thinking the fight over. The poem depicts the blackness of the world so well in the beginning--thiefs covering themselves in the black of night--then on to the black man--and the ending-excellent closure. wish I could give this one a ten. G.Davis

12. ***** "Mirror"C.R. Sweeney
    To say I can identify is an understatement. But, it's more than the reality of mirror, the writing style matches the tone---"the voice"---of this piece. G. Davis

13. ***** Daydreams By Loyal Wray
    Daydreams is delightful. I rate it a solid 5. Maybe it's so funny because I have caught myself doing the very same thing. I wish that I could write comedy that well. John A. Wilson

14. **** My HeroBy Colleen Sweeney
    Colleen's story is very touching. The transition from the memory to reality is a little rough, but overall the story is very well written. The suprise ending is reminiscent of some of my own work. I was both proud and saddened by Timmy in his flag-drapped coffin. As a Vietnam veteran, I am proud of all of our servicemen who gave all for our freedom. Semper Fi. John A. Wilson

15. ***** Remembrance By Geraldine Cook Davis
    This is a new form to me. I have never seen a prose poem before. I found it very interesting and incredibly efficient in conveying Ms Davis' message. And the message itself is very powerful. I rate this poem a 5 only because I can't give it a 7. John A. Wilson

16. ***** The Black Girl By John A. Wilson
    I give this a five. I was moved both by the story itself and by respect for the man who wrote it. Loyal Wray

17. ***** "Dark Lord Rising" By Wayne Stone
    This man has a way with words.It's a very dark poem but I like it. Great work once again Wayne. Heather

18. ***** Cricket's Revenge By R.L. Walker
    Great piece for kids of all ages. Liked the story told, just question saying it's unfair to do, maybe consider saying it's unfair practice as far as crickets are concerned. Ending--well, no wonder--guess I need to stop tickling crickets' feetl Closure, excellent. g.Davis

19. ***** By Loyal Wray
    This narrative is a 5 if there ever was one. Next time I read anything of Loyal Wray's I'm doning Depends first. The style of this piece was perfect for what the author had to say--he just took me on his trip with him and his daydreams. Then, I could distance myself when his mind got out of hand, so to speak. Content--well worth the read. g. Davis

20. ***** The Traveling Walls By John A. Wilson
    These pieces aren't easy to write, are they? Naturally, it's an excellent piece of writing and deserves a 5 rating. I'm going to suggest--if you had him experience a bit of Nam, you don't have to use flashbacks, but could,--he's reading paper and man, he's there, in part,--he's bitchy, ansy----sorry, if I intrude on your writing, but if you can take reader to Nam---power backed material. g. Davis

21. ***** Cricket's Revenge By R.L. Walker
    I'd give it a five. Very visual, and a great read to the little boys. They laughed and truly enjoyed it. Alice in Wordland

22. ***** "Free To Be Me" By Sherry Ermish
    I have to give this a five, too. It's very clear and to the point, and I'm sure many people can relate to it just like I can, because I've felt the same way too. Alice in Wordland

23. ***** "It Takes Two" By Ashley Presutto
    Another definite five. Where did all these great poets come from? Beautiful - says a great deal in a few words. Alice in Wordland

24. ***** "My Hero" By Ashley Presutto
    Colleen--Excellent opening, nope can't go this way---absolutely professional written piece. 5 rating. g.Davis

25. ***** "A Father's Reward" By Josh Groft
    The tension in the first half of story brought the reader right there, in that hospital scene. Liked and understood dynamics of brother, sister, and Dad. I really needed to think about this one awhile. The ending--I like the letter, but the material in-between where son goes off to think--does it enhance the piece? not sure. Did I like it?--a 5 rating. g.Davis