Metamorphosis

Verse I

Suffer in silence driving me insane
voices telling me to stop
to go away to find the night
and what it holds
beyond the shadows beyond the darkness
a gift a present something to see something to touch

suffer insanely wishing the world would go away
Memories creep in the shadows
find me even though I'm hidden
or...lost
with no place to go.

Got lost in the memories
wishing to leave it all behind
throw them away
like old garbage, old clothes, old anything.
to make them
disappear.
People love
and people cry
Some die
even though they're alive
they're just waiting each day for Death to take them away
from the pain--
the pain of living through it all
like you're paralyzed, frozen, stuck
no matter what you're unable to move
to reach out
but you can think
and it hurts, dammit, it hurts--

You wish the butterflies would stop fluttering
in your head, bringing all those happy times wih them
Oh to squash them all become amnesiac
and just forget
forget us, in the sunlight, holding hands & kissing and--

happy

Verse II

Frantically I want to run from it
Love is fleeting &
it turns to hate in a millisecond or two
and so the nightmare begins
that wakes me from my dream...
My dream of loving
being loved
having a partner
in life--

But now it's all over
squashed
The lies stomped on it
& tore it to shreds.

Verse III

It's becoming difficult to see
with all those pieces of my dream
floating around the stratosphere

Wish I could grab them & hold them & keep them safe
where no one can touch them
or hurt them
ever again.

but No. They've been popped like bubbles
and murdered before my eyes--

How they came & went
in four years span but seems like only a day
since I was loved
since the dream was real..
Now I'll spend eternity searching
for those many pieces of my shattered dream
hoping to find them
somewhere, in the breeze
in the calm air of summer
in the sunlight in the moonlight
and guard them & my heart
and lock them away
so no one can ever shatter them
shatter Me
ever again.

From Shadows & Light: Copyright 1993-1999 by Erin D. Conroy

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