Males grabbed dominance for the greater part of human history, until the 20th Century, when the women came back with their sexual revolution... leading to *shudder*... feminism.
But a new breed of human has since evolved, and has the power and adaptability to take control of the new millenium.
So why is it better to be gay?
OK, if everyone just sat back and gave their bigotry a rest for just a second, they would realise that being gay is an evolutionary marvel.
Although I myself have not the benifit of being gay, and do not know anyone who is, I am convinced that conceptually, it is ideal.
Firstly, the practicality of being gay. For many many centuries, the pure act of procreation has been limited to heterosexual couples. Biologically, humans are not adept in naturally altering their sexual organs (unlike some species of frog, and fish) and thus multiplying has always been a problem for homosexuals.
But here in the new millenium, with the aid of medical technological progress, this no longer needs to be an obstacle. IVF (artificial insemination... duh, don't you read the papers...), cloning, or even simple adoption, are new, legal (or soon to be) ways for gay couples to have children.
OK, that last sentence was inaccurate. Because if you're gay, you need not be restricted to 'couples'. There is literally no limit to how many you can have. Menage á cent-quatre-vingt-dix-neuf is quite possible.
Secondly, being gay means you don't have to deal with the opposite sex, and this, I might add, is the greatest asset that they have. I myself find the company of brainless men unbearable, but if you think about the amount of time, money, and effort spent on the opposite sex, you would realise that it would be much more time efficient, well, not to.
No, men aren't from mars, and women aren't from venus, so deal with it, but it is a fact that men and women will never understand each other. (...cept Mel Gibson... all hail big Mel...)
For example, Men will never understand the delicate art of ex-foliating, the procedure of boiling hot wax on the legs (whoa, you'd need pretty hot legs for that one... no you idiot, POURING boiling hot wax on the legs), followed by the tearing out of hair folicles by the roots. (I can see you cringing already.) Nor will they ever understand why women can not attend the bathroom alone. When out, one will tap the other on the shoulder, and like a secret code, all the women at the table will simultaneously rise, and go to the bathroom, even though it was only ONE who had the original idea. (can you imagine guys doing that?)
Women will never understand why men always come too soon (nb. doesn't apply to business meetings).
Women also have no concept of 'below the belt', a particular weak point of the human male. (Still cringing eh?)
Only men can put up with their own digustingly vile thoughts, their snoring, BO (ever smelt a male changeroom?), and general crude behaviour (ladies, try walking past a construction site, eating a bananna, you'll see).
Only women can put up with their own incessant chatter (nagging) reckless use of money (oh don't even TRY denying that one), irrationality, and oversensitivity (NO guy liked the Titanic... cept James Cameron...no, wait, I can still stand by that point...).
Women want something that is a cross between chocolate, conversation, and shopping (oh ho, didn't think I'd ever figure it out, did you?).
Men want something that is a cross between a blow up doll, a really fast car, and a tape measure that'll show them exactly what they want to see (sorry guys, I can't expose one of their big secrets and not one of yours).
Men and women are INCOMPATIBLE. It has taken a while, but at least now some have figured it out.
IT WILL NEVER WORK. DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING.
I know some of you still have doubts. I myself still have doubts, but here's a final thought (thanks Jerry).
Ladies, you dream of a guy who's sweet, sensitive, caring, good looking, great dress sense, etc... well they're gay... sorry.
And Gentlemen? Ok, knew it'd be hard to convince you unless I sunk down to your level, so here goes.... "I mean, who of you don't want to see two hot chicks go at it".....?
View her argument here:
http://www.homestead.com/phwoarr/replacement.html
Hmmm, it's alright... one (minor?) problem. You don't seem to be arguing against me. See, if men are easily replaced (which I neither doubt nor deny) then isn't it the more practical to be gay?
And what's this? Attacking on a personal level? The claws are out now, eh?
So do I want to be gay? Well, honestly, no. But I would like to have a lot of the stuff that stereotypical gay people have... the looks, the success, the style, the sensitivity.... so what turns me off from being gay? Well, it'd have to be the accents that some of them have, and I'm not quite comfortable with the act of DOing gay either.... that, I would say is the major contributing factor...