Jim's Favorite Quotes
These aren't my original sayings, but I sure took a liking to most of 'em!
STOP THE SLAUGHTER!
BOYCOTT BABY OIL!
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If ignorance is bliss,
why aren't more people happy?
One good thing about Alzheimer's is
you get to meet new people every day.
Very funny, Scotty.
Now beam down my clothes.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
If only women came with
pull-down menus and on-line help.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
ATTENTION: FM 517 TRAVELERS!
YOU ARE ENTERING SAN LEON.
IT IS ILLEGAL TO OBEY ANY FEDERAL STATUTE
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Gargling twice daily is a good
way to see if your throat leaks.
Cruel and unusual punishment works better.
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
JESUS IS COMING!
Look Busy.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
I came real close to seeing Elvis,
then my shovel broke.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Pardon my driving; I'm reloading.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
ENERGIZER BUNNY ARRESTED!
Charged with battery.
To err is human. To forgive...is to err.
We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of 'Smart"?
Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding
Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!
The original point and click interface
was a Smith & Wesson.
Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.
186,000 MPS: It's not just a good idea
-- It's the LAW!
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand..
KENNEDY COMPOUND
KEEP OUT
TRESPASSERS WILL BE VIOLATED
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BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER
AND TASTIER, TOO.
POWER CORRUPTS AND
ABSOLUTE POWER IS KINDA NEAT.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines!
If the shoe fits, buy it.
----Imelda Marcos
Hello? Front desk?
Some guy named Gideon left his Bible here.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Two rights do not make a wrong.
They make an airplane.
Two wrongs do not make a right,
but three lefts do.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
SAVE the WHALES! ... Collect a whole set.
ENDLESS LOVE:
STEVIE WONDER and RAY CHARLES
PLAYING TENNIS
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP
BUT YOU EAT BETTER.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes.
You will learn a lot today.
A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
Time is just nature's way
to keep everything from
happening at once.
FREE THE INDIANAPOLIS 500
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