A: Men usually miss them.
Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?
A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.
HIM: "Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?"
HER: "Because you're never home when it happens."
Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because all those men already have boyfriends.
Q: What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
A: They were originally intended for children but it's the men who play with them the most.
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A: Because they won't stop to ask directions.
The three words most hated by men during sex: "Are you done? "
Three words women hate to hear when having sex: "Honey, I'm home!"
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment
Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.
One sperm says to the other, "How far is it to the ovaries?"
The other one says, "Relax. We just passed the tonsils."
Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch stem?
A: A fungi to