Okay... We all get junk mail in our email accounts right? I know I'm not alone in this, so I know at least some of you can relate to finding humor in some of the subject lines. Sometimes the supposed "sender" is pretty hillarious, too. Of course, I have a weird sense of humor, so maybe you all have nothing but pure hate for junk mail and can see nothing funny about it. If that's the case, you might not get too big of a kick out of this page. As for the rest of you, read on....
The first thing you see is the "sender", follwed by the subject line,
follwed by my personal (sarcastic, smart@$$) comments
which are written in orange.
Enjoy!
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| AgeLess Skin Care | MELISSA We Want Your Skin! | Well by all means, take it.. its not like I'm using it or anything |
| About Your Privacy | Weezerchick, Never Leave Home! | I never do! |
| The Humor Network | Computer skills aren't hard to get. | The hell they're not... Try sitting through Gocal's cpsc 150! |
| Health Concerns | Weezerchick, Small Manhood? | Very small... considering I'm a girl and all |
| frankfreaker4 | Don't feed the sluts! | Um.... okay. |
| dinfo-qot@icvdatquot | `weezerchick99` Stop Harassing Creditors! | What if they harassed me first? |
| Your_Wealth@mail106 | Melissa, Want to double your paychecks? | Well... $0.00 x 2 = $0.00 so I guess it doesn't really make a difference. |
| ginger3622i57@netsca | RE: My Mom Thinks My Skirt Is Too Short | My mom thinks so too. So what? |
| hcampbell@studiocev | does a thong suit me | No. |
| Whiter Teeth | Professional Crest WhiteStrips. Not available | If they're not available, why are you emailing me Mr. "Whiter Teeth"? |
| Sexy Lips | Full, Pouty Sexy Lips - In Just Minutes 11.32 | Just what I always wanted! *cries tears of joy* |
| Audio Books CDs | Your computer can READ! | No Way!!! |
| fiqpt@intertrek.com | I Bet You're Gay! ;-) tadfh | If you mean happy (and i hope you do), yes, yes i am. |
| Rod_Stern | Sleep away pounds for a healthier body | When you're sleeping, you're not eating. How can they charge people for information like THAT? |
| Angelina | Who Wants Movie Star Lips in 5 Minutes? | Someone else. |
| Sleep Angel | Are you snoring yourself to death? | lol Death by snoring.. I can see it now. |
| MF5278k57@aol.com | Be There ..... | Be........ where? |
| Cartoon Sex Freaks | HARDCORE UNCENSORED XXX CARTOON PORNO | People get turned on by this?? |
| Nelia Ernestrtyagrpn | If you're not losing hair, don't open this | *delete* |
| Jessy Jackson | <------ I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU | Really?! Cuz I'M in love with YOU! Jessy Jackson, will you marry me? |
| Aelan Bijan | Read this before you get one day balder ........ | This email is obviously the reason I have the hair I do, today. |
| shellyann | purrrr goes your partner... | the cow goes moo |
| tomas41471@hotmail.c | I love you . | Sorry dude... Jessy Jackson beat you to it. |
| karen7881a10@zipmail | RE: Meet Simone from whoremart | Is there really such a store? I wouldn't doubt it.. |
| chole1073x81@yahoo.c | RE: I will cheat on my husband with you | You should be loyal to your husband. But if you're gonna cheat, at least find someone of the opposite sex! Ew! |
| jesuschristt | ** Extended Warranty - For minivans. | Wow!! Jesus himself took time off his busy schedule to email me about minivans! Yes! |
| Jack Oliver, Deputy | A special message from President Bush | First Jesus, now Bush? I must be pretty special! |
| Special Deals | Sensual cellulite free skin... | Used to make soap? Tyler Durden? Is that you? |
| Jenny | Your Soulmate's a Click Away! | Thats good to know |
| Kenisha Dominick | Congratulations. You lost 100 hairs today | And then I gained them all back with the help of Aelan Bijan (above) |
| Shirley Nina | Is Loud Snoring Keeping You or Loved Ones Awake... | Yes. I think it's the strange giant man that sleeps on our roof. Please take him away. |
| Sally Kincaid | I was in tears | Aww you poor thing! Kleenex? |
| ywst | Re:darling | yes snookems? |
| Special Offer | Get PAID To SHOP and EAT | Go to HELL for SENDING this SPAM |
| research@stmxway.com | Keep Your Penis Erect up to 45 Minutes or More | I don't think I have one of those! |
| Single? | He's not in a bar | He's not? Are you sure? |
| Adult_Lottery7058o31 | You've Won The Porn Lottery! Here's Your Free... | The porn lottery..... wow... *shakes head* |
| bk66025@aol.com | Cheat & Eat Your Favorite Foods! | Cheat on a test? A spouse? A game? All of the above? And then eat my favorite food too?? |
| engelkee | Hypnotize Women Into Bed! | Why would I do that? Have I mentioned im a GIRL? |
| nnahf@megamail.pt | Rape! 16904 | So call the police! Why take the time to email ME? |
| noeow3@klklqqz.com | Are You In Debt ? Do Not Delete This! | No, I'm not in debt. *delete* |
| Maria.Teacher | I let my students do me, 1 by 1 all 38 of them | I think someone's getting fired |
| Tiffany.Nurse | Guess what I did with 2 of my patients? | Killed them? |
| Doane Daniela | WE CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR HAIR LOSS ............ | It's all taken care of! Aelan Bijan's gotme covered. |
| Jessica Walters | Is your wife cheating on you? | My wife? Is your wife cheating on YOU? |
| danet@earthlink.net | It don't take a genius to biggie your penis! | This is hillarious... Not many spammers take the time to rhyme. Time...Rhyme. HA! |
| Cindy | adv:adlt Don't OPEN if you hate NAKED GIRLS! | *delete* |
| Keenan Maribeth | I'll love you more if you stop going bald ...... | You mean I'm STILL going bald? Well Keenan, you give love a bad name! So what do you say to THAT? |
| FindOutFree | DOES A SIX FIGURE INCOME SCARE YOU? | AAAAAHHHH!!!!!! *runs in terror* |
| Anila Giles | Congratulations. You lost 100 hairs today.. a... | I know I know... Kenisha Dominick already told me (see above) |
| Martin q | melissa... Look and feel 10-Years-Younger! | I'm not sure I wanna look all that young |
| Divorce Advice | Free Legal Advice: Divorce, Child Support,... | Just what i needed! |
| Jolly Oyster | Hi MELISSA, I've been assigned to your account | Its good to know that a jolly oyster is in charge of my account |
| bjlmbrtmks@yahoo.com | your ballz are definetely to small for this | Oh yeah? well you're ugly! |
| Santa Claws | Weezerchick99 order viagra diet pills | Santa has claws?? Thats scary. Almost as scary as a santa who sells viagra |
| XIKkKLK0@yahoo.com | war | What is it good for? |
| derick | did you know there is a cure for bad credit? | Yes, I think its called responsibility |
| stop spam now | Tired of Deleting Junk eMail? | YES. How nice of you to notice |
| What Is Your Excuse | "I don't have time" =( | Maybe if you'd stop sending junk mail you'd have more time |
| losethemall@dhbsx.lo | lose weight in the shower! | Just WASH those pounds right off! "lose the mall"? haha |
| Allie Fowler | pete thinks pump up your p says pauline | How now brown cow |
| camellgem@yahoo.fr | Sitting in my bathtub thinking | Thats where i do most of my thinking too |
| SALLEY WOODFIELD | Crippin into the inbox | This one's just plain funny... without my comments |
| Jack Oliver, Deputy | Defending our nation in a time of war | .... by sending unsolicited email. Good job. |
| Jade Peterson | you are great.. | And so are you. ???? |
| aylofa peterson | I have your... | THANK GOD! I thought I lost those dots. |
| brictwen smith | you were there?.. | Where is "there" exactly? |
| davinia peterson | Taylor was in on it | That crazy bastard. |
| Briana Richardson | your car... | I don't have a car... thanks for reminding me JERK |
| Sally Kincaid | I was in tears | You're gonna be in tears for real if you don't quit emailing me |
| EarnieElf | See Santa's Busy Workshop | Don't be fooled... its just a screensaver :( |
| Peter Jackson | See Lord of the Rings Two Towers on us | How big are ya buddy? |
| Jeffrey NAME | weezerchick99, look better | Yes, insults are always the best attention grabbers |
| Centennial | Please make a decision | I have decided to delete this email |
| qdamfkwtvse499@vbgyl | would you like to redo your bathrooms qdamfkw | No thanks, asdfgh |
| Sam | About That Money I Owe You.... | Don't tease me like that. |
| Stocking Stuffer | Kwick Pick Portable Lock Pick - On Sale Today | Hell yeah.. Lock picks make the best stocking stuffers |
| HS Grad Party | adv:adlt-Dive into a yummy teen pie! | I dont dive into any pies. Pies are not for diving. |
| S.I.Z.E | gain 3 inches like fadilah did, we guarantee ... | good old fadilah |
| Santa Claus | Mini RC Cars make a HOT Stocking Stuffer | but... i thought... santa claus?? |
| Buddy | attention: Alvin | The chipmunk? |
| Meet Christians | See Photos of Christian Singles in Your City | Or... you could go to church and meet them in person |
| Lose Weight | Burn Off Body Fat WITHOUT Pills or Powders! | There's powders? |
| Freeze Mailing | Nasty Gift Wrap! | Oh baby. |
| bigjj4542511g76ao711 | You must read if you wanna live | This is the email that taught me how to breath |
| Women Only | What's Your RealAge? Take the Free Quiz | Yippy! I always wondered how old I was |
| vonny@aol.com | What smells funny? | Its you vonny. It's you. |
| Tom Turkey | Free Turkey Shoot Screen Saver - Great Thanks | "Great thanks" indeed. |
| Working Assets | George Bush Doesn't Want You to Open This | Is this a trick? |
| amynxgkcu5@yahoo.com | Hi Honey B[3400> | Hey baby |
| Content Watch | Good news--Bad news | Red fish blue fish |
| Vincent Gamal | => Melissa - Wanted: People Like You! <= | Thats kind of.... creepy |
| Jack Oliver, Deputy | Thank you for making history! | You're welcome |
| Karen | Don't even THINK of copying this | Okay |
| maggymae@yahoo.com | Are You At Home | What's your favorite scary movie? |
| Megan@aol.com | Wrapped in plastic | That sounds dangerous |
| Cecilia | They can help you | Good cuz I could use some help |
| sarahjane9438@hotmail.com | How Did She Get That Fist All The Way Up There |
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| Accounts | Is there a problem with your credit card | Yes, i dont have one |
| William O. Riley | Because home is where the heart is. | Way to start a sentence |