Letter to my Sixth Grade Teacher

When I was in 6th grade, I got detention for the first time in my life.  It made me mad because it was for a stupid reason.  Well anyway, she's still handing out asinine detention slips so I decided to write her a letter.  Unfortunately, my youngest sister had her as a teacher and wouldn't let me sent the letter in the end, like we had planned, because she's dumb.  I plan to mail it to her eventually.  But anyway, here's what I wrote to my 6th grade teacher......
 

October 8, 2000

Dear Ms. T**********,

            I would just like to congratulate you on being the only teacher to ever succeed in giving all four P******* children detention.  This is not an easy thing to accomplish, seeing as how our parents are usually commended on their daughters behavior.  Perhaps you do not remember the previous detentions you have distributed to my sisters and I, so let me refresh your memory.
             The first offender was my older sister, Michelle.  When she was in sixth grade, she did a terrible thing.  She looked at her best friend and smiled at her during class.  Oh the horror!!  Why would any child be so rebellious as to smile at a friend?  Well do not worry, her smile was rapidly turned up-side-down thanks to you.  Good job Ms. T**********!
             The second offender was myself.  I was doing my homework, and you stepped out of the classroom for a moment.  The class began to get noisy, and it grew harder and harder for me to concentrate.  I said “shhhh!” to try and get them to quiet down so I could think, when you walked into the room.  You did not reprimand the other kids for being noisy, however, I got detention for trying to be able to hear myself think.  Thank you Ms. T**********!  Job well done!
             The third offender was my younger sister, Marcie.  She forgot to bring her crayons to class one day.  Shame on her!  Marcie is a straight A student who probably had a lot more on her mind than bringing crayons to class, but nevertheless, she got detention.  I bet she learned her lesson!
             The fourth offender is my youngest sister, Melanie.  This is the most recent rebel.  She was walking down the hall when you called her name.  From what I understand, you called her name, and she answered you but did not stop (it is to my knowledge that you told them not to stop under any circumstance because they were running late).  You called her name again, and again, she answered but did not stop.  I must say, what a perfect reason to complete the cycle and give the fourth P******* girl detention!  Bravo!
         Perhaps now that you have succeeded in giving all four, well-behaved sisters detention, you can retire with a smile on your face and live happily ever after.  :)

                Sincerely yours,
               Melissa P*******



This is kind of interesting.  I got this random email about this webpage, and as it turns out, this person had the same teacher at a different school a few years before she came to the school I had her as a teacher in.  Here's the email:

Hi there. Was your 6th grade teacher Mrs. T----------
(however you spell it)? When I was in 5th grade I
asked someone what page we were on and she picked up
my desk and threw it out into the hall - then pushed
me (in my chair) out and did the same to the person I
asked. Then [our principal] paddled us
because he assumed we did something terrible. That was
back in 1985. Maybe you have no idea who these people
are. Anyway, I was just wondering, it sounded like
something she would do.  Later, Jim

After a few more emails we discovered that his little sister graduated with my older sister.  It was still kinda neat though.  Plus, we even had some of the same nicknames for Mrs. T********** (such as tyranosaur, tyranchula, tyranowitch, and tyranobitch) despite the fact that we had her at two different times in different locations.  That just shows the level of evil at which this teacher stands.
 

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