Monday, October 9, 2000. 1:12.
Just when I thought I couldn't hate things more. Just when I thought I couldn't get more worse than I already was, shit happened. And I'm not talkin just your "after dinner shit". I'm talking "big ass elephant with chronic diarrhea shit". So with that metaphor, you can guess how much things suck right now. Now, I hope not to offend any of you nice, decent females out there that are still good to me...BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH GIRLS? In the past year I've lost 5 girls that I've been close to and were really good friends with. 3 of those girls just decided I wasn't worth the effort to know and just forgot about me, deleting me from their lives. The other two went psycho on me and actually went out of their way to make me feel like shit. The betrayals of the last two girls actually both occurred in the last two weeks. So you can imagine how far down the path towards evil this has pushed me. People are now telling me ,"You don't need them". But I kind of did. Actually, now that I think about it, I need the kind of friends that they used to be, not the kind of selfish people they are now. This last dumping occurred last night and I'm so full of rage and hate that I don't think I can wait till tomorrow to unload it all. I usually empty it out with a bunch of push ups and sit ups but for some reason now I want to start a fight. And start a fight with someone who deserves a pounding. Put all that training to use and really rain down hellfire. Or maybe not, I'm sure there are other options. But are they worth it? What is the solution that will bring me back from all this hell? And goddammit I have to stop feeling stupid about putting all this down on screen. It does help, and I don't care what people think. Eat it.
Didn't mean to bother anyone with this, just had to get that off my chest.

Thursday, October 12, 2000. 16:05.
Just sittin and typin, typin and sittin. College can make people do odd things. For instance, there's this girl I been friends with online now for almost a month though we yet to meet in person, you know, one of those "we'll set up somethin things". Now, I'm sittin in the computer lab and she's sittin right across from me and she doesn't even know it. It's quite fun. (Jenn, if you're reading this, take no offense) How odd. I'm back at Target now, and there have been quite a few changes since I left. Some good, some bad, some neither. (look up dammit) I like that a good number of people I worked with are still there, so we can sit and talk about the old times. There is new crap we sell, like computers. Some guy asked me about one and I looked and was like, "When the hell did we get that?" Same thing with camcorders.(Take your eyes off the screen for 2 seconds!) I'm back in electronics now and that's both bad and good. Good because I like the stuff, and I like the people I work with in the dept. But it sucks cause I never have a set schedule, I gotta close sometimes and I have to deal with customers. Or as Target wants me to call them, "guests". Can't believe I'm speaking in Target lingo again.(what's with the headphones?) It also sucks cause I don't get to do the fun stuff I used to do, like...ummm. Well there's...hmmmm. I really miss...damn. Well pretty much all I did was go to John's, eat chips, drink Mountain Dew and play video games. Ok then, there you go, I miss that. But I also miss Mystery Science Theater and that was just a TV show. This Saturday I get done work at 7pm so hopefully I will go out and attempt some fun. As long as I don't gotta get up too early on Sunday. (Ok, now she's lookin at me kinda weird, and I happen to be looking at her at the same time, hope you don't think I'm staring at you Jenn, I just think this is so damn funny). I guess I should keep writing till this sitcom ends. Well, getting closer to the time when I return to Cuba. I'll be lookin forward to seeing my old friends again. It should be the best xmas I've had since 1997 during the days when the Green-King-Wagner clan ruled GTMO. Ok, I think I should get off this damn computer now. My hands hurt like a mother.(Don't worry, before I leave, I will say hi)
Didn't mean to bother anyone with this, just had to get that off my chest.

Wednesday, October 18, 2000. 00:27
I think I hate my job. Why you ask? Only cause some psycho bitch accused me of racism. All I did was walk into the phone aisle while she was in there and she said I was "watching her to see if black people stole". WHAT THE FUCK? Then she brought the managers back and a three second shouting match ensued before I walked away and got sad and depressed. Then I got pissed cause she pushed me back a few steps toward evil. It took 6 people to try and calm me down. So that's why I hate my job and will be more towards the evil Josh for awhile. I hope I go back to good soon cause this beard is killin me.
Didn't mean to bother anyone with this, just had to get that off my chest.

Friday, October 27, 2000. 13:01.
Man, what a shitty-ass week. It all started on 10/23 when I had to leave work early at 12pm. By 11pm I was at the emergency room. Guy problems, you know? Quite an interesting and painful experience that was with all the needles, IVs, tests, and doctors messing around with me. Then the doctors throw around words like, "fluid, build-up, mass, epidi-something, and then the big one...cancer." To which I responded with, "FUCK!!" So now I gotta play the waiting game to see what the doctors tests say here in the trailer. It sucks. After I busted my ass to get back into school, I'm under doctor's orders not to go. Same with work too. All I do is sit in the trailer, sleep, not eat, but I throw up a lot. And the drugs I'm on, whoa. How much do they suck? Side effects like noone can imagine. And the various colors of vomit make for some interesting art. Maybe I'll be the first to create a new for of painting with puke. The cabin fever might be worse, no callers or visitors for the sick one...I don't care though. The one doctor cleared me to be normal next week. The other wants me to wait. So I guess I'm home for awhile. I can barely make it to a computer, this time I can sit here is a rarity. I'm gonna go lie down in a minute, probably sleep for hours. In the middle of the day no less. I can't even work out, no sword practice, nothing. What a burn. I'll keep you all posted though. At least I still got playstation.
Didn't mean to bother anyone with this, just had to get that off my chest.

Friday, November 3, 2000. 15:12
Ok, first things off, I am fine, cancer free...huzzah. It was just a painful sucky experience that I am told is common in young men. I don't know if my accelerated healing had anything to do with it this time. In other news, my best friend John and his stepdad Rich got into one helluva car wreck last week. John's face got cut up to shit, and Rich was literally scalped. They had to put 120 staples in Rich's head. Between John's face and the people's jewels he and I were a sad sight last weekend. But we are both doing better now. I started back at school yesterday, I took my prosecution exam and got an 81. So that's pretty satisfying I must say. I also got a 102 in my Public Administration class. So guess who gets bugged for all the tests now? Maybe I can get a few phone numbers out of this. I also had to work overnight last night. From 10pm to 8am I was putting up Christmas cheer at Target. I got so stuffed up from doing it though, my nose was running like a track star. Now I have the night off, which is good, just don't know what I'll do with it. Oh well, I'll figure something out. Maybe go see the new Charlie's Angels movie. But I doubt if I can get tons of fun (John) to go out. Gotta work all this weekend too, that's a drag. My major concern is getting all my work done for school. I'll probably end up freaking out, but oh well.
Didn't mean to bother anyone with this, just had to get that off my chest.