Wednesday, July 29, 1998. 21:11.
It sucks to be a leader. I've learned that twice this week. At Target, they have me fly solo quite often when it is most difficult running a whole section of a store and then the bosses bitch and whine when my section looks like crap. A most sucky situation. And then I am tryin to organize a trip to the state fair, never thought that would be such a chore, tryin to see what people has planned, and there are people out there who give me half-assed answers like, "I don't know what I'm doin that day" Shit! I mean I'm sure that you have nothin planned two weeks down the road dammit! Consider this an open invitation to those of you who are reading this to join me and the few others I have confirmed for the trip. What else has been goin on... arm's all healed up, almost. Still confused with all aspects of life. Still don't wanna talk about it. Wish more has been goin on, but such is my life.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.

Tuesday, August 10th, 1998. 00:41.
Been awhile since I been around here. Well that's cause I been workin my butt-ocks off at Target. But the people are cool there and it pays the bills, so it's all good. Saw Halloween H2O twice, it is a movie I recommend, as is Armageddon. And as always, see your movies at Pitman theater whever possible. On to other things, my so called "friends" flaked on me for the State Fair. Some had good excuses (you know who you are), but I was showered, dressed, and ready to walk out the door, and then Jared calls em up, and says "Noone wants to go" Surprise!! Could not fucking believe it. I had planned this thing for three weeks and in two seconds it was destroyed. But five minutes after I hung up I was in my car on my way to the shore. There was no way in hell I was gonna let that night go to waste. On other news, my credit card got cancelled, so my life on the net could come to a close real quick. Let's hope not though. The other stuff I have goin on is BIG BIG BIG! But I can't go into it. Chrystal and Jill know what I mean though.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.

Tuesday, August 25, 1998. 14:21.
Excuse me for a second. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!! Sorry if I offended anyone there, but I had to let it out. I know Fuck is a bad word but people are fucking making me say it! I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought when I looked in the mirror was, "I left Orlando for this?" Granted, things are better than when I was living in Florida. I'm no longer starving for one, I have a car to get around in, a job to pay the bills, and I have John to hang out with. Buuuut, there are certain people who have really surprised me these past few weeks. I mean, if I had woken up today with my head stapled to my ass, I couldn't have been more surpised. Lots of lying goin on, lots of it. And the thing is, they don't know I know that their lying, but I do, but I just can't reveal my sources of information, because too many people are involved already. Never thought this would happen. Okay, I did think this would happen. Okay, I knew this would happen. But it was only about two months ago that I knew this would happen. Honest. Before that I thought things would always be cool. The thing is, I was judged and misjudged and misunderstood for the things I said and the choices I made in life. Know there are those who don't have idea who or what I'm talkin about, but it's better that way, trust me. Anyway, I just realized that if I had stayed in Orlando, I'd be in school by now. Heh.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.

Thursday, September 10, 1998. 14:20.
I still have 12 days before I start school. My only worry about that is parking. Which is good, cause I could have a lot more things to worry about. And I probably just jinxed myself there. But oh well, I'm used to these things. Life is okay now, could be better I guess. It always could be better. Lessee, what's new in the me department? Well, last month I went to the doctor. Doctor said I might be in deep shit. Why you ask? Well, I only weigh 130 pounds. And I'm 5'11". Not exactly a good combination. The thing is, I could get sick and lose too much weight. The statistics given to me were: Something like the flu has a 15-20% chance of killing me and something like mono is up in th 90% range. So does anyone out there have any ideas of how for me to gain weight? I don't wanna be a lardass like I used to be, but I could use some extra weight. I work out though, but I guess that doesn't help. Still hopin to do somethin cool before I go back to school, but I doubt that will happen. That's life I guess. I'm still writing my script, don't ever say that is an easy thing to do. But each day, I get inspirational material from various people. So I'll be studying you all for this thing. By the end of next week, I'll hope to have so tidbits on display. So stay tuned.
Didn't mean to bother anyone, just had to get that off my chest.