Band Jokes

Q: How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they have their boyfriends do it for them.

Q:Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the European Festival?
A:The good news: it crashed.
The bad news: there were three empty seats on board.

Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to change the light bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play in tune?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between God and a conductor?
A: God knows He's not a conductor.

Q: How many clarinet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it will take them forever to find just the right bulb.

Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature and earn money.

Q: What's the difference between clarinets and onions?
A: Nobody cries when you chop a clarient into pieces.

Q: What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
A: Put a sheet of music in front if them.

Q: Why do people play the trombone?
A: Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.

Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.

Q: How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to change the light bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

Q: What do you have when a group of conductors are up to their necks in wet concrete?
A: Not enough concrete.

Take me home!