In the mid eighties, when I was 15 years old (half my life ago!), I suffered a nervous breakdown. At first, people thought it was just part of another typical teenage angst period, but upon diagnostic by medical proffessionals, they soon found out I was harvesting a deep depression for years. For the next 3 or so years, I was closely followed by various psychiatrists and other head shrinks. I was also given some mild medication, and was at a sort of summer day care center during one full summer, where I found out there were people out there who are deffinatly worst off than I was!
Finally, soon after my 18th birthday, I discovered alcohol and women, and so I thought I was cured. The doctor who was followng me for close to two years then saw that I was getting tons better, so my file was closed. This molded me into what I am today, and will be part of what I am to become. To be blatantly honest about it all (having 15 years pass since the incident), I think the catalyst for the whole "deep- rooted" depression came from the fact that I had never had a girlfriend or had sex when I was a teenager. I saw just about all my guy buddies/ friends in high school going through numerous puppy love interests while I remained ignored or ridiculed by the females.
In college (it is called Cegep in Quebec), I met a bundle of people who more or less accepted me for who I was. They didn't understand my actions and thoughts, but they didn't run away either. I also finally had my first sexual experiences when I was 19 (I also had a juicy one- night stand when I was 17 with an 18 year-old blonde, but that doesn't really count). In college, I met Nicholas Marker, and together we made college music history by performing three short sets at the music fests which got bashed and trashed by almost everybody. Some folks dug our "new" sound (hey, we were using electronics and synths in 1990!), and we met a few people whom shared our love for weird sonorities. I also got a chance at a red head I was drooling over for 5 years after the third gig. I guess she saw that the Butterman was indeed the sex machine, and decided she would go for me. We shared a few odd nights here and there, but nothing ever came out of that, and soon after she literaly dissapeared.
It is also in college that Nicholas and I discovered our mutual love and addiction for adult videos. We'd get together on Friday and/or Saturday nights and rent a few titles, go back to his place, get drunk and copy the videos. Since then, we've been keeping our obsession alive and well with our advancing age. While he rents multitudes of titles, I just keep myself informed with specific performers' activities.
After college, I moved to a University where no one for Cegep was, and I dropped out after a few unsuccesful tries at being a robot. I switched a few times my primary specialty, but all the classes were essentially the same. Sure, the subject was different, but the way the courses were presented/created, it was all the same. I wasn't happy with trying to fit in a passive study structure (I need to be productive; to actually do something), so soon enough I gave up, and looked for a full-time job to shut my mother up. Eventually, in 1998, I found a full time desk job, so I had to quit my graveyard shift radio show.
(I actually went to two different universities; between them, I became a sort-of alcoholic, needing to get drunk every night just to be able to fall asleep. My days would be endless hangovers, followed by evenings of solitary boozing. I stopped, obviously, but still enjoy the occasional "pussy" drink, since I overdosed on beer!)
Working full time has also opened my eyes to another side of society's oppression towards the individual. Working most of your life for someone else for a meager pay sucks your life and energy away. This would ensure that the individual could not be productive or live his/her own life. Although working a full-time job is necessary for one's survival, it also destroys all that makes an individual unique and special. It turns humans into drones, robots who respond to less and less stimuli to make certain they will work long hours without asking too many questions. Believe me that I would quit working if I could afford to live without a home, without food, without clothing, bref, if I could live without the basic necessities, I would... But that would mean I would have to be a bum, and also give up my true passion, music.
So my recent questionning revolves around trying to figure out how to juggle a full-time job, a full-time girlfriend, a full-time music label, 4 or so full-time bands, two dozen websites, friends who don't stand each other, and life's boring but necessary evils (groceries, cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc...). I quickly realised that Time Is The Enemy; we would need more "free" time to properly live our lives. I calculated that with an extra 48 hours a week of NON-WORK related time would probably be more than enough to make life enjoyable and worthwhile.
I hope this answers the questions people had about my not being as active in the music circuit as I once was. When you have about three or four days without work per week, it is easy to take the time to concentrate on production. But when that time is reduced to about 4 hours a week of so-called "free" time, it unfortunatly puts things into perspective... It's not that I DON'T want to make music, it is just that I don't have the TIME to concentrate on it as much as I once did...
They mentionned they were about 3 or so weeks away from the official launching party; a live gig at Foufounes Electriques. They needed an opening band and invited me to play with them on the bass for the show. So, with my then project A.K.A.inc., we opened up for the Ft'Gh!, and after our 35 minute set (which did get an honest audience appreciation!), I jumped on stage with the two freaks for about two hours' worth of jamming.
After the show, they asked me if I wanted to play with them on a full-time basis. I agreed. we made a couple of shows, most of which were plagued by broken bass strings and other accidents, but it was all in pure fun.
While they were discussing the possibility of releasing another
CD with
me joining them, they also thought I needed a stage name, such
as theirs.
It had to be whacky like theirs and yet, representative of my
then-
personnae. I thought I should be a Reverend because I was
probably
the more "serious" of the trio. They thought I sort of looked
like a
dirty fat and perverted version of Archie, with a Scottish
twist. In
those days, I was also very verbal about my love for the female
sexual anatomy, so they called me Buttersnatch. The last
name
McWick is a Scottish-type name, with the "Wick" being a
reference
to my own carefully hidden private parts. The final portion,
The Turd, is a take on The Third, but with a
reference to
fecees. So, the full name of my Ft'Gh! personnae was:
Reverend Buttersnatch McWick, The Turd
Obviously, I didn't like the name, but those guys were pretty insistant on calling me Buttersnatch everywhere I went. So the name stuck, but my close friends didn't think it suited me. It was also a pretty vulgar namesake. I can't recall who it was, but at one point, someone just called me Butterman, and it stuck. Well after I was given the pink slip with the Ft'Gh!, most of all my friends just called me Butterman, or even Butter for short! Today still, I meet friends on the street and greet me with a big smile and say "Butterman!...".
Gwen "Gwendolyna", aka Lolita Hotbuns
Unless you did not read anything at all on this site, Gwen is my
long
time girlfriend. I call her my wifey because we've been together
for
so long. We met in early 1992, and felt an immediate
"something"
towards each other. In mid-September 1992, we went out with a
common
friend and we ended up in bed that night. A week later, after
she had
returned from a trip, Gwen called me and we decided to give our
relationship a try. This was a first for the Butterman, because
up
until then, all my experiences were either short-lived
mistresses or
one-night stands. Our fist try at couplehood lasted but a mere
three
months. We parted way for about 2 or so years. When we met
again, she
was dating one of my then-best friends Martin BTM,
while
I was seeing another young woman. After a few months, we decided
to
give our relationship another shot, and after a few bumps and
misses,
we finally agreed on common ground, and we've been together
since.
We have been living together for three years now, and I hope
things
will go smoothly in our evolving relationship. Gwen is also a
very
good friend, as we have many points in common aside from our
relationship.
For example, she's to be blamed about my Star Trek
obsession, and
helped pave the way to many other Sci-Fi fun and games. We both
like
movies, although the tends not to enjoy the classic repertoire
of the
Butterman. I am incredibly honest with her, and couldn't lie to
her
even if I tried. I recently made a pact to remain with Gwen
until our
time runs out, and do not have any regrets or feelings of
cheating on
her. Like the song says, she's "my first, my last, my
everything"!
Dave "DirtyDeedster", aka Dirty Dave, Two-Fingered Dave,
The
Sharpener
David S. is probably my all-time best male buddy. I met him when
we
were about 5 years old when my family and his family moved to
the
then-newly developed town of Greenfield Park. We grew up
together,
pissing in sand lots and biking across town, shopping for soft
drinks
and action figures. At school, the teachers made sure we were
never to
be in the same classrooms. In high school, our individual
programs
also seperated us. In college, he went his way, and I went mine.
But
we never lost touch for more than one or two months at a time.
Even to
this day, both being 30 years old, we call each other at the
very least
once a week, and usually spend one or two nights a month
(minimum)
drinking booze together, walking his dogs, running errands,
going on
car rides, etc... There is NOTHING I wouldn't be able to confide
in
him, and I think the feeling is mutual. We're both pretty
different
personnalities, but we both know where the other one stands, and
never argue about anything anymore. Our friendship has lasted
over 25
years now, and the way it seems to be going, we'll probably be
best
friends for the next 25 years as well! Dave and Gwen do not see
eye to
eye, and so do not enjoy each other's company, but they aren't
at each
others' throats either. Dave lives with two huge german
short-haired
pointer dogs (hunting canines), and is the lone cowboy; although
he
is a hetero male, women do not seem to be attracted to him, even
though
he is a much more attractive man than I am. Either he doesn't
make
"the moves" at the right time, or women just don't go for his
straightfoward style. But whatever happens, he's a great guy.
Nicholas Marker, aka G, Gene, Gino, The Max
We were introduced by a mutual female friend early in college in
1989.
We were (and still are!) both red heads, and both were amateur
musicians. Our relationship began when we thought a good thrill
would
be to perform at the local music fest, even though we had no
material
and had never jammed before. Our friendship grew when our love
for the
women of this world became apparent, and then our mutual
"addiction"
confirmed we were to be blood-brothers. We were drinking
buddies, and
also tried to get women to do threeways with us. Our
relationship came
to a halt in 1992, when he met his future wife Diane, whom he
loves
very much and lives with in a cozy home on the outskirts of the
general Montreal area. He got back in touch with me in 1994, and
again in
1996, at which time our friendship re-linked and are now, as we
were,
as brothers. But since we both have full-time jobs, and
full-time
girlfriends/wives, we do not see as much of each other as we
once did.
We do keep in touch, and try to see each other as often as time
permits,
but, as I say, Time Being The Enemy... He also is D. F. S.' main guitarist,
and also
has his own solo project, Holoskanks. He's more the quiet type with
and
exploding laughter that could wake up the dead! He's a great
listener
and likes to listen and watch the human condition. While I am
the
pessimistic anti-social, he's more a positive rational. We have
many
things in common (music, women, videos, etc...), and I hope our
relationship will continue to grow.
Frank Zen, aka Frank Mars
I met Frank in the early-mid nineties. He was a real noise music
enthousiast and contacted me to purchase the entire WRECK AGE
catalogue.
He is a true enthousiast, helping out in any way he can to
support
independant and local underground weirdo music. He's a collector
of
hard-to-find literature, artwork, visual graphics, electronic
experimental music, comic books, horror movies, etc... On the
private side, he also digs video games, surfing the internet,
and is
a pool shark, although you'd never tell by his physical
appearance.
In 1999, we decided to form a noise project we called RECYCLOR, but being the
ever
so busy guys we are, jamming together is impossible. We did do a
few
pieces, including a 30-minute epic called "The Sinking
Process",
which is available in chopped-up portions here with other pieces of
"music"
we've created. Our relationship isn't so much a personnal one as
is it proffesional-like, but our easy-going attitudes permit us
to
discuss pretty much anything, although we never tend to dwell
into
anything too personnal. Gwen can't stand or understand our
hours-
long telephone conversations, but like I tried to tell her, we
speak
the same language, and therefore have tons of stuff to talk
about.
We rarelly see each other face to face but communicate via phone
or
e-mail about once a week or so. He's also the main editor of
MASTOCK experimental music zine, with the upcoming issue 4
being
either the final issue or the last in it's present music-only
format.
Todd Cameron, aka TC The Shark, Thing-Freak I've only known Todd for a few months, but he's such a down-to-earth individual that I feel like we've been friends for years! We met through the internet by a common obsession; John Carpemter's THE THING! A while back, we were faceless aliases discussing our favorite movie on a message board, which is now shut down due to an unwanted hacker who not only turned the board into a hate circus, but also hacked into Todd's personnal PC at home, effectivelly ruining everything and turning both Todd and his lovely girlfriend Moon slightly more paranoid about internet relations. I don't blame them! I met Todd in person on Thursday July 26 2001 during my travel to London Ontario for the first annual THING-FEST he organised for a handful of select board members. Unfortunatly, I was the only one able to attend at the time, but he plans on making the fest a regular one, with "big screen" presentations of the film at least once a year. As if our THING obsession wasn't enough, he's also a shark fanatic, such as I am. He's even been on a shark dive once, something I could never do, being so deeply afraid of the seas' most perfect hunters. Todd is also a personnal trainer and is in great physical condition, while I am the fat lazy slob. I thought he's give me some beef about not taking care of my body while I was down there, but he never once mentionned my over-abondant belly. He and his girlfriend are very nice people who are responsible for giving me some faith in human beings... something which is very difficult to do!
Martin "B. T. M.", aka East Clintwood
Martin was (still is!) the older brother of a classmate I had
during
my high school years. When I was hanging around Michel (the
younger
brother), I always thought his big brother Martin was just a
pain in
the... neck! After I went to college, I lost touch with Michel,
but
began hanging around his brother Martin because he was part of
the
then-D&D troupe I was involved in. This was the late 80s/early
90s.
At first, our relationship was very edgy. Then, after I quit the
D&D
gang, we continued to have contact, but our friendship grew. We
would
go camping, swimming, driving around, record sounds for Archangel songs, and
mostly
just chill-out. In the early 90s, he also made me discover and
appreciate
classic rock music, something I had up until then merely sneered
at. Bands like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Jimi
Hendrix
became very fascinating and I found myself intrigued by what I
once
spat upon. Our relationship suffered greatly when, in late 1992,
early
1993, he dated my wifey Gwen for a while. Our relationship later
re-linked, and we basically continued where we left off. A few
years
ago, he moved to B. C. (British Columbia), where he works. We
saw him
about once or twice a year, and for the last year, he has cut
off all
contact. I sent him a letter recently, hoping he's not pissed or
angry
at me. I still consider him a very good friend, because of the
0%
b*llsh*t relationship we have. He can read me like an open book,
and
he is also 100% direct and to-the-point.
Spike, aka The Ultra Twist-R, The SoundSystem Master
I met Spike by accident. He was living with my 1/2 sister Izabel
and
I was intimidated by his older age. Finally we met face to face,
and
behind a cold exterior, I knew he was a decent enough guy. I'd
often
pop to the store where he worked we'd talk for hours about hard
to
find music. He's the one responsible for introducing me to such
favorites
as Panasonic and Plastikman amongst countless
others
(literally!).
I think it was his 30th birthday party, where our friendship
really
clicked. It was such a fine party that I was also the last guy
to leave
at 10am the next morning! In 1995, his long-time radio show co-
host had to quit, so he asked me to take the guy's place. The
rest, as they
say, is radio history. I founded "The Third Hour", the
final
portion of our weekly 3-hour show called "Lu-Nad-Ic Wax".
We had
loads of fun during those years, until I had to quit the show in
1998
when I got myself a full-time job. He quit not long after that,
and
our then 9-year old show got turned into a parody of what it
once was.
Out with the old, in with the new, they say! After the death of
the
radio show, Spike became a music merchant, in the sense that he
is the main person I trust with most of my musical needs. I
don't
need to shop at any store, he either has it, or can get it for
much
cheaper than the big name stores. He is incredibly knowledgable
about
his product, and also disillusioned about the buisness, so, as
we say,
he knows where it's at. I try to keep in touch with him
as
much as I can, but since we're also both pretty busy... it is
very
difficult to do so...
Izabel, aka the Nurse With Wounds, Zab, Da Sister,
Lady-Bee
I met Izabel when we were both teenagers. I was living in
Brossard, on
the south shore of Montreal, and she was living in St-Bruno. We
met
by a mutual friend, whom I had the hots for. My buddy Dave
actually
had the hots for Izabel! Well, when things didn't work out (they
so
rarely do), Izabel and I remained friends out of each other's
failed couplings. Our relationship grew out of partying and
getting
smashed in clubs. When she moved to Montreal, we began seeing
much
more of each other, and our friendship grew to the point of
being each other's confidant, and to some degree, also each
other's
therapists! When I moved in with my wifey Gwen about three years
ago,
our relationship sort of began stalling a bit, since we didn't
see
much of each other anymore. When the internet came into our
lives,
we begun e-mail each other, as well as continued to call each
other.
Recently, when Spike's girlfriend was in Paris (France) for a
while,
a couple of friends would meet up at Spike's and Izabel and I
would try to catch up on old times. I'd often end up drunk while
she'd
end up depressed. Our relationship pretty much was a negative-
negative exchange, with very little positive feedback to help us
deal with life's cruel injustices. Word to the wise: I used to
have
a "thing" for Izabel, but it went away when she didn't return
those
emotions. Maybe this is also part of the strength of our
friendship.
Steve Markowski, aka Big Steve, Metal Man
I will never forget the very first time I saw Steve. I was
invited to
be interviewed on the "Lu-Nad-Ic Wax" radio show, this
was
before I was a host by the way, and the deadline was
approaching.
Co-host Spike was getting nervous because Steve wasn't showing
up and
he was wondering what was to be with Steve's portion of the
show.
While Izabel and I were waiting in the lobby, in came this huge
blonde guy with eyes so deeply encrusted in the skull that it
looked
like a madman with a 20 year-old acid trip had just escaped the
insane asylum. Our friendship slowly grew from then on, as we
both
had a passion for underground noise music, especially if the
packaging
was unconventional. I would often crack jokes with him at
Spike's
parties, and he'd often buy some obscure tapes and vinyls off of
me.
Even after the he quit the radio show (I don't blame him; the
hours were
crazy and no one who called had anything positive to say) we
stayed
pretty closed; for about 2 years I would visit him at the record
shop
he was working. He'd more often than not be in a good mood, with
a
wide smile and a handful of annecdotes about anything. He was
also a
long-time Phycus collaborator, playing the metal at live
shows as well as a few CD appearances. He's also an established
solo
artist, painter, noisemaker, sound manipulator, bref, the real
subversive anti-art art form. I've been bugging him for year to
carry his debut/first solo release on my label, but he hasn't
really responded yet.
