Bar Bets
A gentleman walks into a bar for the first
time. He walks up to the bar and orders a beer. When the bartender sets the beer
down, the gentleman says, "I'll bet you ten dollars that I can bite my
nose." The bartender laughs and says, "O.K. I take that bet." The
gentleman pulls his dentures out and bites his nose.
The bartender is shocked and upset. The
gentleman then says to the bartender, "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. I'll
give you a chance to get your money back. I'll bet you that I can lick my
eye." The bartender thought for a second then replied, "O.K." The
gentleman then removed his false eye, licked it, and replaced the eye in the
socket. The gentleman then takes the bartender's money and his beer and walks
over and joins five guys sitting at a table.
A little time passed and the gentleman looked
up at the bartender and saw that he was still upset. The gentleman went up to
the bar to get a new beer. When the bartender set the beer down the gentleman
said to the bartender, "I see that you are still upset about me taking your
money. I don't want you to stay mad at me. How about I give you a real chance to
get your money back?"
The bartender paused for a moment, then asked
how. The gentleman proceeded to explain, "I'll bet you twenty dollars that
you can stand at the end of your bar with a shot glass in your hand, I will then
stand on this barstool, and when I say go, you slide the shot glass down the bar
as fast as you can. I will pee in the shot glass and fill it up before it falls
off the other end of the bar, without missing the shot glass once." The
bartender laughed and then said, "Son, I just waxed this bar. I'll take
that bet."
The bartender moved to the end of the bar as
the gentleman climbed up on the barstool in front of the bar. The gentleman
unzipped his pants and got ready. When he was ready, the gentleman said go. The
bartender flung the shot glass down the bar top as fast as he could. The
gentleman started peeing. He peed on the back bar, the bar stools, the glasses,
the bartender, the floor, the bar, but never even touched the shot
glass.
The shot glass then flew off the other end of
the bar. The gentleman got down off the barstool and looked at the bartender,
who was laughing hysterically. The gentleman then started laughing out loud. The
bartender, who could hardly breathe between laughs then said, "Son, why are
you laughing? I took your money! You never even hit the shot glass!" The
gentleman then handed the bartender the twenty dollars and replied, "You
see, I bet each of those five guys over there twenty-five dollars that I could
pee all over your bar and make you laugh about it."
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