On the First Day:
We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.

On the Second Day:
We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce, and hard rolls.

On the Third Day:
We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.

On the Fourth Day:
We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.

On the Fifth Day:
We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of naked turkey carcass.

On the Sixth Day:
We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.

On the Seventh Day:
We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.

On the Eighth Day:
The word ''vegetarian'' keeps popping into our heads.

On the Ninth Day:
We check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.

On the Tenth Day:
We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.

On the Eleventh Day:
We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.

On the Twelfth Day:
We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers.

And everybody says Amen.