Diary of an Arizona Newcomer
May 30th - Now this is a state that
knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains
and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park
lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home I love it
here.
June 14th - Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun
worshipper.
June 30th - Had the backyard landscaped with western
plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th -
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking
longer than I expected.
July 15th - Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd
degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing
to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate
like this.
July 20th - I missed Tabby, our cat, sneaking into the car
when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch,
Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over
$2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now
smells like Kibbles and 'chips'. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th
- Dry heat, my foot. Hot is hot!! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order
parts.
July 30th - Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights
now. $1,100 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I
ever come here?
Aug 4th - 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner
fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate
this state.
Aug 8th - If one more wiseguy cracks, "Hot enough for you
today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to
work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell
like roasted Garfield!!
Aug 10th - The weather report might as well be
a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It's been too hot to make love for two damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it
ever rain in this barren damn desert?!? Water rationing has been in effect
all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool.
Even a cactus can't live in this heat.
Aug 14th - Welcome to Hell!!!
Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the
windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot
enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,100 house payment to bail
me out of jail.
Aug 30th - Worst day of the damn summer. I'm not
leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make
it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with
it's new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving to Los Angeles for some
peace and quiet.
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