Okay, so why *did* the chicken cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN
TEACHER:
To get to the other side.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the
nature of chickens to cross roads.
BUDDHA:
Asking this
question denies your own chicken nature.
DARWIN:
Chickens,
over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that
they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road .. it
transcended it.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you see,
represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to
trample him and keep him down.
FREUD:
The fact that you are
at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES( Microsoft Windows Owner):
I
have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
HIPPOCRATES:
Because of an excess of phlegm in its
pancreas.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before.
TIMOTHY LEARY:
Because that's the
only trip the establishment would let it take.
MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
MOSES:
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER (X-Files star):
You
saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to
cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON:
The
chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
PLATO:
For the greater good.
RONALD
REAGAN:
I forget.
JERRY SEINFELD:
Why does anyone cross
a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
OLIVER STONE:
The
question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who
was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"
ARTHUR ANDERSEN
CONSULTANT:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening
its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the
newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship
with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution
strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration
Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's
people, processes and technology in support of it.
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