How did the chicken cross the road?
... but not quite the chickens you were thinking of.

NT Chicken:
  Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken:
  It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken:
  You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Microsoft Chicken (TM):
  It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OOP Chicken:
  It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
  First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:
  It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
  The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken:
  USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
  The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken:
  If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:
  Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
  Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
  Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket !

Cray Chicken:
  Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
  The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:
  Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do !

Mac Chicken:
  No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Al Gore Chicken:
  Waiting for completion of NCI (National Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the program.

COBOL Chicken:
  0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
  IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
  PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
  VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
  ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE

  ELSE
  GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING